You are here

What to do about Bio Son

Chocoholic's picture

Heres a little key of people for those of you who don't know:

*My son was born when I was 16 and his dad is married to Jennifer.
*
My daughter is the product of my first marriage (has a different dad) and he has an amazing girlfriend (my daughter's other mom).

*My dh has two kids.

Okay, so in my home it is my bio son that feels he gets the short end of the stick... he is the oldest (10 years old) and in being the oldest he is expected to take on more responsibility and is held accountable. He drags his feet on every one of his chores (all 2 of them) and acts like he is really put out... he complains about homework saying that he doesn't have to do it at his dad's house so why do I always make him do work?

Its just crazy... hes my boy and I love him to bits but he has really gotten a huge attitude... I personally attritubute it to all of the bs that Jennifer has put him through. Nonetheless, he has been lying a lot... I caught him lying about his school work and so I walked his little butt right up to his teacher (a 6'2 man) and had him tell his teacher (who he had lied to) what he had lied about.

I just don't know what to do... at his dad's house he and his dad conspire together and lie to his sm... (just to shut her up or keep her happy). So in that instance he is told that lying is okay.... but its not okay! under any circumstance. What is truly frustrating is that his dad doesn't seem to get why our son is lying now? Are you kidding me?
I told him that he can't teach our son to lie to his sm and then wonder why he has become a liar! But of course he doesn't think that is it.

Anyway, my son gets really mad when his younger siblings (step and bio) go in his room... he doesn't want anything of his touched... which I can understand because I'm a middle child.... but he acts as if someone died if something of his is touched while hes not home (we have him 1/2 time).

I've talked to him quite a bit about how he feels, we have a pretty open line of communication and it always resorts back to that he wants something material and he is angry that he doen't get whatever he wants; IE: a new toy.
He wants something new right after he gets something new and I told him no! He does not appreciate any of the things he does have and I don't want him thinking that he can have whatever he wants whenever he wants it. Plus, I don't constantly buy the other kids new toys... when he sees the other kids comming home with new stuff it is because their other parents bought it for them... and he doesn't seem to get that.

He is also becoming a very resentful little guy regarding his sm (Jennifer)... he sees how my daughter's sm is and he wants a sm like her... he sees how our relationship is with my ex and how my daughter's things are HER things and we don't dictate her every move like Jennifer does to him.... he always asks me why he can't have a sm like my daughter's.... He tells me that his dad is really nice but Jennifer is not... I feel so badly for him.

I don't know... this is more of a rant, and I'm picking my son up from school today (he has been at his dad's) and I have a sinking feeling that Jennifer has been causing more drama that I will get to hear about when I pick my son up. Then I will have to call the ex and Jennifer will freak some more!

my3sons's picture

I dont know what type of relationship you have with your bs's dad but maybe you two can agree on this issue and what to do about it? If that is not possible then you just have to do what you can while he is at home. I personally dont have a son this old so I have no idea what you are going through but my first reaction would be to talk to his dad. YOu would think that sm would not like him lying to her either. Good luck!!