what to do when visitation is denied?
an update on the case of 8 year old SD watching porn:
1. BM never made appointment with therapist and lied to my H about it.
2. SD was not punished at grandparents where she lives for watching porn for a month.so she has all her previous previleges which are computer and tv and trips.
3. last weekend H and i talked to SD about her punishments and what she now had to do around the house for behaving the way she did.
4. yesterday visitation was denied because SD did not want to come over because we got after her.
5. BM calls to tell my H that he needs a lawyer to have visitation rights...????
6. H called a cop to report the denial of visitation and report was made.
we don't have that much experience with this kind of crap so i need advice as to what to do next. we already have 2 reports of visitation denial. i really need ur advice.
visitatation..
Does your DH have a legal document stating when he is to have visitation with SD or is it just a mutual agreement between BM and DH?
he has a legal document that
he has a legal document that says that he is supposed to have SD on the 1st, 3rd, and 5th friday of every month at 6 pm.
I could be wrong..
but I don't believe he can be denied his visitation right. I know the other parent can't keep his child from visiting but if the child herself does not want to go there has to be a good reason and your DH would have to agree I think. Its to bad when the other parent(BM) does not back you up I know all to well how that goes.
contempt....
BM is now in contempt, because your DH has that document, she , or SD cannot go against it. I could see if SD was older, that might hold water, but not now. I have been thru this before myself, charge her w/ contempt."~waiting on the world to change~"
also...
You could get a police escort, I had to do that once w/ my DH's ex, when she tried to pull this crap w/ us. It was the last time she tried that!"~waiting on the world to change~"
Useless...
Our BM did this twice, and even filing a contempt charge in court didn't stop her from withholding visitation for a third time. These were COURT ORDERED access times, court ordered because she kept interfering! I don't know what the law is in TX, but I can tell you that in Canada, it's doesn't seem to matter what a father does to get access, the BM can do or say whatever she wants, and get away with it. Besides, here, being charged with contempt is prtty much the equivilant to being slapped on the hand.
Best of luck to you on this - I wish I had something better to tell you...
so far we have to police
so far we have to police reports but the thing is that we don't know were to take those or who do we call to make the complaint about contempt. does the attorney general take care of that?
and my H and i just found
and my H and i just found out that BM lied about SD not wanting to come over because we got after her. the reason SD did not want to come over was because BM and SD were on their way to buy a backpack and since SD did not want to wait until she went back to BM she began to cry and saying that she did not want to come over. but BM change things and said that SD was crying because we get after her. that really pisses me off because BM, her parents and my inlaws don't want us to get after SD when she does wrong what they want us to do is give her what she wants at all times and to love her more that my 7 month old BD.
yesterday i talked to MIL and she said that we shouldnt punish SD for watching porn on the internet. that we shoud just hug her and give her all the attention. she also said that SD does not need therapy and to just forget about the incident. after this i know that i can't count on them for help or advice the only ones on our side is my family.
are we supposed to walk on eggshells from now on when SD is around?
thats what they want but i dont think its right...
In our situation
Contempt of Court just appeared to be words with no real meaning. The Judge found BM in Contempt of COurt on three separate occasions with no consequences whatsoever. There were threats, but nothing. We thought on the 2nd one, surely something would be done. NOPE. SO, by the third we were not let down when nothing happened. So, hopefully your State and Judge will honor the charges, but I've never known any of them to follow through.
Step Mother's Motto this week is:
You don't have to LOVE me, you don't even have to LIKE me... But you will RESPECT me.
I do agree...
with crayon.....we chose option 2 :(. After we tried option 1!!!! Yeah, we really got the shaft from SS, as he wanted to go back to his mom 6 months into living with us. Fine by me.....I could not stand having BM be a even bigger part of our lives with SS living with us. We had 4 contempt charges by the time the judge gave BM a hard time......she was facing supervised visitation as punishment in the end if she tried to withold visitation again....yes it is tedious, and a pain in the a** to keep filing charges, but in the end it made her look really bad in court. Now she has her "prize" back with her. And he misses us. Total nonsense!"~waiting on the world to change~"
In Texas...
you need to look at your Attorney General Papers and see what court they were filed in. You then need to contact that court and find out what paperwork you need to fill out to file contempt charges. It's not easy in Texas. For some reason the "moms" here can do no wrong. Good Luck.
I live in Texas too
I just called the Texas Attorney General and they said to file contempt charges you would have to go through a lawyer because they don't enforce visitation. Child support and visitation are two seperate issues and they only handle the child support part. I would file a complaint online and see what happens at https://childsupport.oag.state.tx.us/compncp.htm. We filed a complaint once for BM not paying us for doctor visits and meds like she is suppose to and just wanted them to put it in our file. They called us back within a couple of days. At least it's a start and they will have it documented as well.
than you so much jen... im
than you so much jen... im relieved to know that we can do something without an attorney... like u said its a start. i guess i was so mad that day i was looking for something to help us out and i missed that part of the website..
thank you....
Never met Step Daughter
Hi. My husband has two kids with two other women and one with me. He pays regular child support and has no problem doing it BUT... His Daughters mom wouldnt let him ever see his little girl, even with court orders. He knows he could get an escort but his little girl is six and he doesnt want her to be scared by all the drama and problems by involving the police. At one point the BM finally let him come over and meet the little girl and they had a grand time(we dont even know if she realized he was her daddy) but he was to call the BM once a week to "prove" he wasnt going to lose interest and walk out of her life(she pretends to do it all for the good of the little girl but we have learned that is not really why). He did this for awhile to appease the BM. Till she started not answering or "forgetting" that he was coming over and not being home or picking up the phone. And she always blamed him for not reminding her even though how can you remind someone if they dont answer their phone? So he got to see his daughter like 3 times and they had so much fun together, playing games in the BMs kitchen. The last two times he went over the BM had a different guy there each time and both times she sat on the couch directly in my husbands line of vision and made out with these men. Also going upstairs and coming back smelling like pot. My husband didnt make waves because he has been trying for years to see his little girl and he didnt want the mother to keep her from him anymore. So once again, he had to call and "check in" once a week(even though he only got to see daughter ever other weekend for like two hrs, even thought he was supposed to be allowed to see her 2x a week) and he started realizing when he called to see how his daughter was doing that his x would say fine, then start talking about her life and nothing more about the daughter. He got tired of this and decided he would only call on the weeks she would "allow" him to see his daughter. The very first time he didnt call one week, the week he didnt even get to see his little girl, she got pissed and hasnt answered his calls since. Its been over 6 months now. We have since gotten married and had our little boy. My husband is sad because this x of his let him and his daughter become friends then snatched her away. As sad as it is I told him if his x was going to be that way, someday his daughter would come looking for him, and when she asked why he wasnt in her life, he could explain and let his older son from his first relationship explain that we always had our home open to both of them, that it was her mother that kept her away. We dont have the money for a lawyer, or maybe we would fight it in court. Im angry now though because I have never even met my step daughter, might not ever... My step son adores me and his mom and I get along. He is having part of his new baby brothers life(my son)and I want this little girl of my husbands to have the same chance. I dont want to replace her mom, but I do want her in both my sons and husbands lives. Her mom is spiteful though and I dont see it happening. I even had to drive my husband to her house those three times he did get to see his daughter, an hour away from our home, drop him off, and wait 2-3 hours in my car by myself in the middle of winter, then pick him up and drive home. Does anyone have any suggestions for us? I live in Pa, so if anyone knows any pro bono family lawyers or any free legal or parenting help PLEASE PLEASE contact me @[email protected] and let me know. Thanks