When it Rains it Pours
Wow - because I don't have enough going on right now with DH......
The skids would get mad that DH was drinking or just be mad in general and call my house 20 times in a row. If I pick up then they would go off on me. Then his sister in law decided that his brother must be living with us (he wasn't) and gave all their creditors and angry customers my home phone number. Then BM would call or have her friends/co-workers call looking for DH. And his mother would call and leave crazy messages. So, for good reason, I changed my home phone number in June last year, had the number unlisted, and blocked it. I wouldn't let the skids or any of his family have the number. If they needed him, they could call his cell phone.
So since DH has been MIA for more than a week, the skids are going nuts, which I understand and I feel bad about it, but I can't do anything about it. I don't want to call them because they will just take it out on me. SS13 has literally called DH's cell phone 87 times in the past week, BM is leaving messages, they are calling our old home number, and somehow they found phone numbers of mine from 8 years ago that they are calling. I know this because I logged on to pay the cell phone bill and saw it all (SS13 is on our plan).
BM lives an hour away, but I just saw her car in front of my house. They pulled up, saw his truck missing from the driveway and left. I am praying that they don't come back. The last thing I need is a confrontation at my front door with SS13 and BM over something (DH drinking) that I can't help. Just waiting for the messages on Facebook and Pinterest to start....
so DH is MIA? Has he moved
so DH is MIA? Has he moved out? Where is he? I hope you don't let him back in when if he returns. Yikes. As far as BM and SK - if they come again and don't leave right away, call the police if you feel threatened. Or perhaps file a report stating they are stalking you. Good luck
Yes - he was downstairs in
Yes - he was downstairs in the guestroom drinking for a week. I told him to leave yesterday and am packing everything he owns today/putting it in the garage. I saw online (they have a police report online) that he was picked up for drunk in public last night and let go this morning. I have no idea where he is and he can't find his phone so when I say MIA - skids haven't been able to get in touch with him since last Monday.
I think thats what makes this
I think thats what makes this so hard for me. DH isn't stupid. He is talented and artistic. He reads all the time, and has a great head on his shoulders. We connect so well on several levels. But he has this HORRIBLE addiction that I can't help him with. At this point, I am enabling.
I feel so bad because when I first met him he was sober for 18 months, I thought that was amazing and noble and had no idea what he meant in his version of alcoholic. I thought he just felt like he drank a little too much and it was time to stop. Once he got together with me and we got married - it all let loose. He wasn't struggling anymore, he didn't HAVE to make the mortgage, because I could. So that allowed him to get to this bad, bad place. He did have the same level of problem before meeting me I think, but because no one was around to maintain a roof over his head, he did. I think he will be better off without me and I KNOW I will be better off without him.
Wow. I feel for you. You seem
Wow. I feel for you. You seem like an inspiring Women. I've read a few of your posts this week, they're not whiney, they are thearapeutic for you and they also give insight to those with similar situations. I think your doing the right thing for both of you &(your ex). I can't imagine what it is like to be where you are. Keep staying strong for your girl. It'll take a while to heal, but you will get through it! Best of Luck!
I'm glad you stopped enabling
I'm glad you stopped enabling and I hope he hit bottom when the cops picked him up so he'll finally help himself. Meanwhile I think you're doing excatly the right things. Continue to be unresponsive - no arguments or explanations you make will convince them you're not the one who drove him to drink.
They may never understand that a alcoholic needs no driver.
((HUGS)). Im so very sorry
((HUGS)). Im so very sorry your going thru all this!! My Dad was an alcoholic & it was hard as hell !!! But I know that you cannot fix him!! He has to find the strength to fix himself!! Have you been to any Al-Anon meetings? If anything they may make you feel not alone & keep that resolve in you of this disease is NONE of your doing!!!! Perhaps your right- that it became easy for him to drink cause he still had a roof over his shoulders- but- he has this disease & you being a great responsible adult Woman who pays her bills did Not make him drink. His alcoholism did that- 100%!!
Hang in there!!! Keep posting! We are here for you & simply want the best for you!