Why cant you just pay for your kids?!! (vent)
WHY can't people understand that if you make a child you have to pay for a child? I just don't understand. I waited years to get pregnant because I couldn't afford a baby with sks in the home. Why doesn't everyone understand that children = money?
BM wont pay child support. And tries to get out of every single penny she owes for medical. I just don't get it. Is it that she dislikes DH so much that she wont pay, is it that she doesn't care that her kids are cared for, or is she just cheap? It is so frustrating to have to argue a receipt. When one argument doesnt work, she tries another. How hard is it to read a receipt and see you owe half? We are so much nicer than most, we don't file for contempt, we don't harrass her or ever say anything to her about it. We just send the bills and ask that she pay... never ever bring it up to her in person around the children. I knnow so many parents who have withheld kids or has yelling matches about money. We don't say anything, but yet she STILL tries to get out of it. Makes me crazy.
sorry vent over.
I am going to add to this,
I am going to add to this, lol sorry im frustrated, that she doesn't pay for anything. Clothing, hygiene, school supplies, school pics, after school activities. Nothing. All we ask is she pay her court ordered child support ($200 for two kids) and half of the medical like the court order states. ridiculous.
We did get the tax return
We did get the tax return last year, and will again this year. And she doesnt work so we cant do wages. We have contacted our lawyer about pursuing a contempt charge but since we just got through a battle about supervised visits and such he is telling us not to do anything....
we are discussing finding another attorney but we all know the cost of that.
She's not alone...a lot of
She's not alone...a lot of people (including my sks bm) think that way.
Why take care of my own responsibilities when someone else can/will? :sick:
I'm having to stop being nice
I'm having to stop being nice to my exh I've let him slack financially and it's only hurt the kids. Now he has 2 jobs (one is cash) and he's wanting to lower cs, has the kids 52 overnights a year (less most of the time) never paid the 50% of extra curricular, medical or school I ate it all while he sometimes paid cs and sometime not the full or at all and he's got some major arrears he is expecting to get out of. He's going to be sore pissed when I send him the letter with all the bills he's supposed to of paid half over the last 3 years. It doesn't total much but oh I can hear him rant and rave and call me every name in the book now. I wouldn't of changed having and keeping my kids for anything but I'll be damned if he gets to put the responsibility solely on me AND treat me like shit while our kids go without and he's wearing new nikes and a brand new coat but nowhere is the coat he promised our ds for winter. Ergggh.
She doesn't work so we can't
She doesn't work so we can't garnish. And CSE can only get involved so much bc our judge made special circumstances so didn't use the normal form 14..., we've gone down that road. While they were nice their hands are kind of tied- but that is how we were able to obtain the tax return a few times
Her husband works full time.
Her husband works full time. She chooses not work. She worked full time at a decent job for years but wanted to have more children according to her so she could "feel like a mom again". so she chose to quit working. Even told us she would no longer be paying for the children because she is having a new one. (now has three others). I just personally feel that if you can not afford the children you already have, you shouldn't make a choice to have more bc you want to feel more like a mom. Be a mom to the kids you have.
Same here. BM2's first child
Same here. BM2's first child was SD11. She then had 4 other kids with a guy who is NOW in prison. She's married AGAIN to a guy in the military. She cried in court and was only ordered to pay $50 a month. I stood there with my mouth gaping open as she told the judge that if he ordered her to pay the full amount it would take food from the mouths of her younger 4 (who she had KNOWING that she didn't have any custody of SD11).
Great thing was, when it came to her asking for custody or extra visitation, he reminded her that she couldn't afford it.
I am so sorry you're going
I am so sorry you're going through this.. You've sacrificed and done for you SKds and now your venting on and online forum..Your the SP I'm trying to be..Keep Pushing ((HUGS))
Even if she is not working
Even if she is not working you should still engage the CSE office to dog her for her CS obligation. It is far easier to let the system deal with hounding her, taking her tax return, keeping track of her arrears levels and capitalizing the penalties and interest on her deadbeat parent obligations.
She may continue to play games once the CSE office is the one chasing her down. My SS's SpermClan never came to my DW to whine about relief from CS but they sure would play the guilt card with my SS when he was in SpermLand for visitation. They would pressure him to tell his mom to drop CS completely since it was not fair that SS had nice things and the three younger also out of wedlock spermidiot spawn by two different baby mamas did not. CS was taking food out of the younger half sibs mouths, etc, etc, etc....
These people would not read the CO for anything but it was amazing how quick they filed to stop CS when SS turned 18.
Good luck.
thanks. that is terrible that
thanks. that is terrible that they say that to SS. We have similar where the sks know how much money and are told its not fair that they have to pay it.. which of course the kids repeat. I just dont understand it. But making him feel bad that the other kids wont eat- that is ridiculous