WWYD?
Forums:
Basic info: per their court order, DH and BM have 50/50. No CS in between; BM claims both skids on taxes. They have been at odds since their divorce, and every issue becomes a huge deal with BM. She expects DH to give a mile, every time, no matter what the request is, no matter how unreasonable the request is.
Now, it looks as though it will go to 90/10 for the time share due to a job change for BM. Does DH officially request the CO to state what the actual time share arrangement will be? Does DH ask for CS, due to the fact that we will have the kids a grand majority of the time? Or should he leave it alone, since we know it will be a battle? Advice appreciated!
Go to court. Ask for child
Go to court. Ask for child support & draw out a time to pick up the kids. Designate a public meeting place if her behavior is a concern.
In our state, you don't ask NCP for CS. You ask the enforcement agency, & they send paperwork to NCP to fill out. & paperwork for you to fill out. Then they calculate & set an amount.
Absolutely. Go to court and
Absolutely. Go to court and get the new arrangement nailed down. The Child Support Enforcement Agency (or whatever it's called in your state) will calculate and determine the child support once you request it. And yes, DH should absolutely get the support if he's caring for the child for the overwhelming majority of the time.
I agree, got to court! If the
I agree, got to court! If the change order is not filed (in my state) than the schedule doesn't change. And it makes it harder for BM to take her time back if she ever wants to go back to the old schedule. CS, ABSOLUTELY!! Why should DH have to pay for everything? BM need to pay for children she's responsible for if they are not with her a majority of the time. Why should you guys have to carry most of their financial needs on your shoulders?
The last time there was a
The last time there was a schedule change, it took a year and a half before there was an agreement. I know it cost us about $5,000 to do it, and it cost her almost $10,000. She had a "hot shot" attorney with a big price tag, but based on all the proof we had, he told her to settle when there was no more opportunity to delay. I'm just not sure that we can afford that. I think we'd be able to fill out the paperwork just fine, but I'm not sure we're ready (physically, emotionally, financially) for another battle.
Despite the financial issues, I guess the biggest/most important concern is the impact on the kids. They are old enough to know that there would be a battle going on, and based on BM's past behavior, she would draw them in the battle and the PAS campaign would begin. DH and I do our best to not let them hear our conversations about the ongoing issues, but they have said things that a child shouldn't know about concerning cs, time share, etc that when we address them and say that isn't "kid business" and not to worry, it's normally followed up by "well, mommy says we should know what you are trying to do to her and us."
Also, they have a FROR, which would mean the kids would be here vs with babysitter. Their FROR says that grandparents/future spouses take priority over a babysitter. So even if DH wasn't here, she would have to ask if we can care for them vs. just hiring a babysitter. This is why I think that it should be a non issue. She's had no problem dumping the kids off here when it fits what she "wants/needs" vs. if DH requests a day or an extra hour or two to finish an activity, you'd think he'd asked to keep them for all of her time.