Just because you can... should you?
every three (or maybe four? i've lost count) years, I get a notice from the court saying that I can go back for a child support view for my BD. The first one I got, I filled it out thinking that I was SUPPOSED to do it and I was accused of being a money grabber. I contacted the court and cancelled the hearing. I felt totally guilty.
when we went for the intitial CS hearing, the x brought a hand written w2 stating that he made $4,200/year. he's a bartender, so the majority of his income is from tips and he hides his money for tax purposes. I'm not a vengeful person, so I never reported him to the IRS... why bother?
but my BD is nearly 13, all of my expenses have increased... but then again, so has my income. I'm not rolling in dough, by any means, but I make more than I did 10 years ago... him, maybe not? who knows!
we have college to plan for (which is not covered by the court for CS) and braces, (which are, but it's been difficult to get him to pay his half) we also have camp every summer and through the years when daycare and after school care expenses went up, I just made up the difference out of my own pocket.
Insurance was supposed to be covered by him, but he put her on basically medicaid and I took her to the doctors once with an ear ache and they refused service because the "insurance" hadn't paid for over $150 worth of visits, etc... so I switched her to my insurance, which she's been covered by for 9 years now.
I guess I'm just vacillating because of his circumstances (getting divorced from the newest wife) and the fact that he's STILL a bartender which could be a determining factor (if he's still hiding his income)
what does the collective think? my husband doesn't understand why I haven't gone back to court at every opportunity to get more money... and I've tried to explain all this to him and he still thinks I should go back for a review to increase.
Your ex helped created your
Your ex helped created your BD and he should pay for half of her expenses!! Plain and simple!
You're not greedy for
You're not greedy for wanting/expecting your child's father to help take care of her. Kids aren't cheap. The older they get, the more it costs to provide for them. If he's playing games now, you can count on him to do the same when it's time for her to go to college. If you feel like you don't need the extra money, just put it in an account for your daughter. Even if the increase is small, it will help when you're paying for college text books.
It's not YOUR fault HE's
It's not YOUR fault HE's still an effing BARTENDER.. for christ's sake, what is wrong with these people? Do they have no ambition? How did he think he was going to make enough to support a kid on a bartender's salary?? Guess what.. he didn't. If I were to assume, given the statements you've made above, I'd say he's probably tried to get out of paying anything he can. He probably never intended to pay for half of anything. Take him back to court and get his ass. If he ends up being broke, maybe he needs to find another job. His fault. Not yours, and especially not your BD's.
the thing that might bite me
the thing that might bite me in the ass, is the fact that he's STILL A BARTENDER and I make a decent living.
I have to wonder if it still works like that? I mean SHOULD it? Just because I've worked to improve MY self and further my education to make more money, does that mean that he's that much more off the hook for taking care of the needs of his "precious"(I hate when he calls her that, she's not an effing cat, she's a child, for crying out loud)
DD is 18, I separated from
DD is 18, I separated from her dad when she was 10 months. I have never taken him back for support - however, he buys her shoes, and clothes and has helped with medical.
She is going off to college - we have agreed that DD is to pay for this. I'm not going into debt for her college and I am not dipping into my retirement. What we have agreed to do is continue supporting her with her support while she is in college. IF she gets a job, and lives like most college kids eating ramen etc...then she will have enough for tuition money. It's called money management.
BM thought she would get more money for skids after 10 years - what she didn't take into account was the daycare that she no longer has. Her support did not change ROFL. I found that slightly funny. She has full custody - and gets support as such- she still sends requests for more.