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The never ending battle with the ex- misunderstanding papers

Momma1987TC's picture
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So we finally got the papers signed and filed for our extended weekend visitation modification. However, his ex keeps trying to read between the lines instead of understanding it as basically as it is written. The papers are written in 3 sections due to it being a progressive step towards extended weekend. The first & second sections are written specifically for the school year. The 3rd is from January on and has specific sub-sections for holidays & summer.
So Im going to sum up each section to shorten wording and get to the point.

Beginning Jan 2014- Dad will pick up SD at time school is dismissed on Friday and return SD when her school resumes after the weekend on the first weekend of the month. For the 3rd & 5th weekend, Dad will pick up SD at time school is dismissed on Friday and return her at 6pm on Sunday. On the 2nd & 4th Thursdays, Dad will get SD from 6-8 pm.

Beginning Aug 2014- Dad will pick up SD at time school is dismissed on Friday and return SD when her school resumes after the weekend on the 1st, 3rd, & 5th weekend.On the 2nd & 4th Thursdays, Dad will get SD from 6-8 pm.

Beginning Jan 2015- Dad will pick up SD at time school is dismissed on Thursdays and return SD when school resumes on Friday. Also, Dad will pick up SD at time school is dismissed on Friday and return when school resumes after weekend on the 1st, 3rd, & 5th weekend.

So Pretty straight forward and laid out.

So Summer states that he gets 30 consecutive days that he can choose to take in no more than 2 periods and no less than 7days. And outside of these 30 days he would still get his 1st, 3rd, & 5th weekends except they resort back to standard possession beginning at 6 on Friday - 6 on Sunday... blah blah blah. That makes perfectly clear since to me.

After that paragraph it states this: "Notwithstanding the Thursday periods of possession during the regular school term and the weekend periods of possession ORDERED for DAD , it is expressly ORDERED that MOM shall have a
superior right of possession of the child"

So according to this paragraph, I understand it to say that Dad won't get Thursday night visitation. Which is fine. Its what the papers say. However this morning the ex texted and said what do you want to do about your Thursday visitation during the summer on the days that SD's t-ball games fall on? We were kinda confused, considering we know we aren't suppose to get Thursdays at all during the summer. He texted back "what do u mean?" She said "it resorts back to standard possession during the summer, so what do u want to do with ur 2 hrs that fall on the same day as her games?"

we discussed it and decided since we know we aren't suppose to get SD on Thursdays during the summer, and she wants to give her to him, we'll let her decide when she wants to. Its not our fault if she doesn't understand the papers correctly and its in our benefit! And it wouldn't be to our benefit to argue with her about what the papers say when she is reading them wrong to give him more time with SD.

Do you understand it differently than I do? I wouldn't think that the Thursdays would continue through the summer just because it was written that way in the 1st section for Jan 2014 since Summer has its own paragraph mentioning Thursdays visitation. What do u think?

Jsmom's picture

You have to stick to the CO exactly as it is written. When you waiver, it always comes back to bite you, even if it gives you more time. We have seen it countless times on here. BM sounds toxic and will turn on you.

Momma1987TC's picture

We are thorough about getting her to type up and sign all agreements, that way they will stand in court. it is typed, and signed by both parties and 2 witnesses and dated.

Momma1987TC's picture

Well the verdict came back.... bum bum bum (for dramatic effect. lol) She says that the summer reverts back to standard possession. Meaning He gets SD every Thursday from 6-8. Then says that if he wants to exercise this time that conflicts with her games then he will just have to come to the game to see her (which we were planning on coming to anyway). Meaning that they will meet (halfway between towns) at 6 pm then we will follow her back to her town and hangout until the game starts at 7:15. Also she said because SD is in pre-k and her class let out on Wednesday although the rest of the school doesn't get out til Friday, Her summer has already began and this coming weekend falls to the standard schedule meaning he doesn't pick her up til 6 instead of 3. (we didn't find out that her class released earlier in the week until this week. So we had written in the summer visitation letter that because school ended Friday and it was the 5th Friday of the month that we would get SD at 3) She also had to throw in that she talked with her lawyer and she said that the paper that we all signed wouldn't stand in court. (big fat fuckin lie). Anyway.... It wasn't really worth fighting over since now she thinks he gets SD every Thursday from 6-8 throughout the summer. that adds 14 hrs to us!!!

Rags's picture

This is perfectly clear to me. Often the idiot blended family opposition is selectively stupid when it is to their advantage. If an element of the CO is clear and to their advantage there is absolutely no confusion on the part of the idiot opposition.

When an element of a CO is to their disadvantage the idiot opposition often goes in to total stupidity mode and must be beaten in to submission with a rolled up copy of the CO (figuratively of course... or not }:) )

When my SS's Sperm Idiot or Sperm Clan got stupid and failed to return the kid to us on time following a COd visitation we shredded them in court regarding compliance with the CO. When they got stupid and failed to take visitation, we made it a point to advertise that we wanted them to have that time with the skid and him to have that time with them just to make sure that there was no question of them claiming it court that we denied them visitation.

Cover your asses when BM delivers the Skid on days that are not specifically your DH's. Just in case. Send an email to her thanking her for the extra day(s). Print a copy and slide it in your file cabinet. Just in case.

Good luck.