Once when SD was about 12 she told me it was her daddy's money and not mine and I need to stop spending his money.

Then last year when I didn't put money into her lunch acct (she is 16 btw) she told me I needed to manage my money better.

Now when she asks for money I tell her to get a job!! Evil brat!!

Its none of the kids business where the money comes from or who is making what money.

I would kill SD if she tried to rearrange anything in this house!!

Sounds like now is the time to step up all the stories about what you are going to buy and how much of "daddy's" money you plan to spend. Enjoy the turmoil you are putting her through as you give the impression that you are spending her future inheritance.

Sounds like now is the time to step up all the stories about what you are going to buy and how much of "daddy's" money you plan to spend. Enjoy the turmoil you are putting her through as you give the impression that you are spending her future inheritance.

Do they work? Because if they're choosing not to, you should twist it around on them and tell THEM to get jobs }:)

Did she say that to you? How did you hear about it?

She is pretty dammed nervy saying that out loud to anybody. Never justify yourself to SD. Ignore every bitchy thing that comes out of her filthy mouth.

Tell her, "my life and your daddy's life are none of your business. "

I had lunch at a restaurant that had Saks models roaming around during lunch. Of course the clothes were all barely below butt length so there was not one woman in there that could have worn one of them.

But what got me were the purses that they carried - these purses were two and three THOUSAND dollars. My first car (new) was about that much.

Go on line and print out pictures of those ridiculously priced purses and ask SD for her opinion on which TWO should should get. You know - you need one in brown and one in black. }:) }:) }:)

Well I'm guessing the problem is really all your fault. You clearly have no understanding about anything. Let me tell you how it works. DH has no money that is actually his. Every penny he has, every asset he has, do not actually belong to him. His possessions and cash are actually the property of skids. You see it is THEIR INHERITANCE. so, no wonder the poor babies are worried. You are spending their inheritance instead of getting a job and supporting their father so that he can save more for them to get when he dies. It is understandable they'd be upset with you. I don't know why you can't see that.

Inheritance is in this day and age a God given right. Parents now, who had to work hard and save to buy a home and put something aside for retirement, find that they cannot enjoy the money they worked hard for and went without for because the lazy spoilt selfish brats with an over inflated sense of entitlement they raised, think it is THEIRS. Poor kids, once upon a time an inheritance was something you may have been gifted from someone's estate and you were pleasantly surprised and felt fortunate to receive it. NOW it belongs to these greedy kids and they have to worry themselves senseless that you or dad will spend all their money. You need to be more understanding. Then I'm sure your husband has told you that once or twice over the years. Or else go on a bloody good world cruise and cause these kids to have a heart attack.

oldone I LOVE that idea lol. I should do that to SD21 but Id have to stomach talking to her first. She'd figure out some way to con her dad into giving her the money for that. Its hilarious my DH never gets me anything for bdays, anniversaries,valetines day etc but Lollipop head can get whatever she wants cause in his defense she "has expensive taste". I told him of course you can when youre spending someone elses money.

F U C K I N G losers I cant stand it.

This is the one area BM actually did me a favor. She once told SD that everything her father has is due to me and that without me, he would have nothing because he is such a loser. (her words)

While it's true that I make more than he does, we have what we have because we have worked at it together. But I was good with letting SD think her father has no money! So, thanks, BM. :sick:

reminds me of my exmil. her POS son wasn't working at all (never does), and she had the nerve to tell me i needed to get a better job. in other words, i needed a job that paid more so i could make up for his lack of income. how do you like that? he doesn't need to get a job at all, i just need to get a better one. the one i had was working just fine for my daughter and i, but it didn't work so well when i had a POS to support as well. and that idiot doesn't understand why i didn't want him!

Hmmm, sounds familiar.

I worked 20+ years as an accountant. When I got pneumonia and collapsed lung I was forced to quit because I couldn't breathe or think straight from lack of oxygen. My right lung scarred together and has had only a small improvement.

BM (who hasn't worked in 20 years) and DH decided it would be a good idea to take advantage of me by always making me take the kids.... when I was literally fighting for my life. I still hate them for it.

After being angry for many, many years I started buying myself whatever the Hell I wanted all the time.

I don't care with his kids and BM think.

Me, too! I sacrificed for years so he could support skids and their lazy ass BM. Now I spend like there's no tomorrow. I will not sacrifice for anyone, anymore.

Wow. My SD11 actually said to my D12, "We wouldn't have this house if it weren't for my daddy." ACTUALLY, when I got with "daddy" he rented and drove a truck that was 17 years old (because he had ZERO credit). We have this house because I have a credit score in the 800's. Period. SD also told my D that "daddy buys all the groceries" My D knew better so she ran downstairs and asked me with SD on her heels. I said, "no, as a matter of fact we both buy food, but our finances are really none of your business". said the last part looking into SD's eyes. I know it sounds petty, but good God, it's something EVERY FUCKING DAY!

My fatass SS16 grabbed a grocery receipt out of my hands once when I was putting the groceries. I let him get a good look at it and then grabbed it back and told him it was none of damn business.

When we first got married and I bought a brand new car, BM pitched a fit because she thought DH bought it, and after I had to leave my job he did.

My DH is very, very generous to me. But when I'm angry at SSs or BM I spend like there is no tomorrow.

My SS is gonna shit a brick when he sees the new Nissan Juke DH is gonna buy me in June.

LMAO!

Same here. SD has never said it to my face, but DH recently said she mentioned something about finances and a day or two ago she told him that she wished he could quit work and enjoy life. I know she meant that if I went back to work, he could retire. DH is in his early 60's and a real Type A. He wouldn't know what to do with himself if he wasn't working at something. He works for himself so he makes plenty of time for recreation. I told DH it is none of her business, but if he chooses to tell her anything, make sure to tell her that I had a good job, nice house, no major debt, nice car, excellent credit rating, etc. when we met and married. DH told me to just sign over the house and my right to ex's pension so we would not have to deal with him in the future. (big mistake) I told DH she should know that I had assets and HE told me to sign them away. If not for that, I would have a financial stake in this home. I consider that I worked just as hard to get to this stage of life as he did. Since I had to move halfway across the country and leave my job and DD, DH told me I would not have to work. He makes significantly more than I would in my line of work. Also, I am the bookkeeper/admin assistant for his one man company. Also he encouraged me to volunteer at church and in the commmunity so I could establish friends in our new town. And, I have money of my own. Of course, none of this is her damn business, but I told him IF it comes up again, make sure she knows he didn't rescue me from being destitute. She is so jealous of my DD that she told her dad she just knows we pay for her car and insurance. WTF? My DD is married. She was unemployed for a long time, but looking for work and she is just a lot better money manager than SD. I agree with catmom - no amount of explaining will help, so don't bother. I told DH if SD was so worried about her inheritance it would have made more sense to be really nice to SM instead of alienating me. Oh well, her choice.

Yes 20 plus. THEY REALLY, REALLY DO, do this stuff. You are not crazy. For a long time I think we all go through a stage of thinking WE are crazy. Once you realise the skids are the ones who are crazy with jealousy and anger, and you are actually normal, you can start to get your life back and if that means the skids aren't in it, well, so be it, they set it up that way.

Your finances are none of her business. Can you imagine telling her to get a job, asking her about her financial situation, perhaps suggesting BM get a job to provide better for SD. All hell would break loose. . BM would be screaming, sd would hate you EVEN MORE and DH would be saying you shouldn't have said that. SD says it, and the only one who has a problem with it is you. Funny that isn't it. SM can do no right, SD can do no wrong.

Ahhh! My husband was absolutely right. He once said during one of the many arguments over his princess of darkness. If I just shut up and put up with her crap like he did, we wouldn't have any problems. Gosh he has the answer to all our problems. If we follow his advice, they could close down this site. All we have to do is, shut up, say nothing to sd or DH. Accept she comes first. If she wants cash or cars and DH wants to supply therm, we shut up, if we are treated as lepers in our own home, shut up. If skids go through our paperwork or want to know our financial situation, shut up. If skids want daddy at functions without SM. Shut up. Shut up, just be the nothing piece of crap they know you are and all would be fine. See, how clever is my DH. If we would only shut up, let skids treat us with contempt, treat us as though we were dog poo on the soles of their feet, skids would be happy. Happy skids = happy DH. All good. It really is all the stepmothers fault.

Or, we could do as I did. Ban the bitch from my home, tell DH he is free to go with her and spend his life serving her, making her happy, doing her bidding. It is amazing how many Dhs once faced with the reality that their wife is no longer going to accept the abuse and disrespect he and sd out, will suddenly decide sds not that good after all. I'm guessing they really don't like or want to be sds first class fool after all, they just wanted us to be.

To give them clarity.  Bare idiot toxic opposition parent ass, force the idiot Spawn to extricate their head from their own ass, and to make their self delusion a choice rather than forced on them by an idiot toxic opposition parent.

My SS-30 never has had anything but clarity on our marital income.  His mom and I both work professional careers.  We do well.  When he was young, he would come home from a SpermLand visitation upset that we were taking money from the SpermClan that could have fed his apparently starving three younger also out of wedlock Spermidiot spawned half sibs by two other baby mamas.  SpermGrandHag loved playing that manipulation.

So... as SS got older we reviewed the CO with him in detail. We showed him spreadsheets on how much it takes to support a family with a nice home, safe vehicles, good schools, safe community, healthy food, etc, etc, etc... Then we shifted to the CS column.  That paltry $110/mo then $133/mo paid for shit for nothing over the first 10yrs of the CO.  Not even when he was a 2yo toddler.  Even after 10yrs when CS was raised from $133 to $785/mo SS knew that it was a fraction of what it cost to feed, house, clothe, educate, provide medical care for, transport, etc, etc, etc... him. Which also made the SpermGrandHag's head explode.

As SS grew older subsequent visitation trips went far different than the earlier SpermGrandHag manipulation trips had gone.  She lost her ever loving shit filled mind when SS would ask 'Gramma, how does $133/mo pay for all the nice things for me and my parents that you say it does?'.....  "Gramma, you pay for Dad (SpermDad's first name) house and cars, you raise his children for him, you pay his CS for me, and you pay for the visitation plane tickets when I visit. Why are you always mad at my mom when it is (Spermidiot) that you should be mad at?'

And on, and on, and on.........

Facts are neither good nor bad. They are merely facts.  Kids need the facts to be able to protect themselves from idiot manipulative parents as they are growing up, and need the facts even more to protect themselves from the manipulations of those same toxic parents when the kids are adults.  These evil toxic POS failed parents rarely ever stop their manipulative crap.

Keep the facts front and center, and make sure the kids understand them and understand that the toxic parent is.... toxic.

IMHO of course.

So, I'm not alone in this at all--lots of company here. I bought some new furniture when SD was 27 and visiting. She turned to her dad and said--right in front of me--"why do you let her spend all your money." I get it that these entitled, immature, adults want parents to live like paupers so there is more money for them when we kick off. DH and I are planning on spending everything and enjoying our retirement. I agree with the advice to live and spend as you see fit. How rude for SD to talk about you needing to get a job. Sadly, I have one just like her.

My husband gave the ex, all of the marital assets no quibble.  took out a personal loan to pay off remaining balance of a house for his ex. So she had a 350k house bought and paid for in her name at the age of 39.

he also bought a car all be it a smaller one than she was used too. 

He always said he just wanted to make sure her and his kids would always be safe with a roof over there heads. ( I still admire his approach to this element)

I worked full time, we lived off my money. All of his wages went to paying support and financing the debts.

Fast forward 15 years, we have built ourselves up.  Through sheer hard graft.  

I will always remember all the awful comments.  You took Dads money. You are only with him for the money. He should have bought mum a better car.  My engagement ring is small but perfect.  There was uproar when I got it.

My DH has lived off me now for 8 years.  He does house husband.  it generally works.  But they still say i was a gold digger.  lol.

I live in a 3 bed semi and drive a 8 year old car........ hardly rolling in the $$$$