Taking wedding ugliness to new heights:

Q. Ex-Aunt at the Wedding: Growing up, my mom’s brother and sister-in-law, my favorite uncle and aunt, lived nearby. When my mom was diagnosed with cancer and eventually lost the battle when I was 12, my aunt became a second mother. She helped me through puberty, bought me my prom dress, advised me on boys, etc. Unfortunately, my aunt and uncle went through a bitter divorce when I was in college but my aunt and I managed to stay close. I’m in my 30s now and she still sends me cookies, we exchange letters and knitting projects, play Scrabble online every day. I’m getting married next year and I want my favorite aunt and mother figure there. However my uncle and his new wife have made it clear that they will not attend if she’s invited and it’s become a divisive issue among my mom’s family. How do I decide what to do?

A: If your mother had lived and your parents had had a bitter divorce, one parent would not be able to say, “Choose between us.” OK, this happens all the time, but I mean one parent should not to do this, and frankly the one who does can be the one who doesn’t come. Your aunt is like a mother to you, and she should be at your wedding. Love trumps blood and your uncle and his new wife are being despicable. You can tell them you are inviting your aunt and you hope he and his new wife will also be at the wedding. Say that if they can’t be, you will miss them.

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2014/09/dear_prudence_m...