Feel like I have half family with DH
Lately I have been feeling like I only have half a family with DH. OSD has always been a trouble maker and tried to break DH and I up. Now that I have disengaged and DH reluctantly understands, he still seems only half here with our bio and I.
Some days he is moping and sad and if we run into people we know and they ask about his DD's he just loves to blab. The he will say how he wants them to come to our house this summer etc. etc. I just stand there slightly in shock thinking what world is he in? We are not in the happy blended family situation but he likes to pretend. I find it disturbing.
Then I get a mini panic attack which doesn't last as long anymore.
Some days still, I think I can't deal with it and then it passes. It is like a never ending roller coaster ride in hell. Fun for a while and then reality strikes again.
I really don't even like hearing about SD while DH talks to other people in my company.
It is wearing on me some days.
Not sure if I am asking for advice or just needed to vent 
Yes DH needs to do something
Yes DH needs to do something to repair the damage.
He has asked me what can he do??? All I can say is stop triangulating. He has for the most part, although I dont trust him 100%.
Maybe this is as good as it is going to get.
Wow ~ so many threads this
Wow ~ so many threads this morning are similiar to my life | don't know if its just because it's Father's Day or what.
I have been in your boat ~ we sound like we could successfully paddle around the world.
The power struggle of the SD ~ ahhhh what a subject.
My fiancé's daughter I have had a conversation with her in over 3+ years. The dismiss of the relationship was a train wreck waiting. The subsequent drama was incredible table talk with the "in law" family I am sure. I am sure I was the a$$hole just frankly someone needed to knock her off her high horse n Disney daddy couldn't see her actions cause he always interrupted the fiasco as his ex's drama ~~~ ahhh touché I say it comes from the apple.
My fiancé does similar stuff when he sees someone from before ~ they ask how she is n he just talks around it. As if she has carried on n moved to Russia. I guess it would be mortifying to say I haven't spoken to my dd in 3 years. I get it n it hurts when he is confronted so I just casually walk away so he can speak of great achievement from when she was 12.
I don't have the triangle life like you speak of~ I just feel awful for him engaging 100% with my kids n maybe 20% with his own daughter. Why all the empty emotions on fathers Day ???
True ~ maybe it bothers me
True ~ maybe it bothers me more than it bothers him.
My children (4 ) ~ have had to grow so fast in that last 6 years ~ 6 years ago I lost my husband n 6 months later my father. They know empathy all to well ~ blessing in disguise ??
My mdd can't get over the fact that my SD actually chooses not to be in her dads life ~ as my kids would love to have 10 minutes more with their dad. To watch my fiancé heart broken ~ cause she never spends anytime w her dad.
Just heart breaking
I feel for you, 20Ys. But I
I feel for you, 20Ys. But I take comfort from the points where you say you have "now" disengaged and that the panic attacks are shorter. This would show that there is some movement toward the good still to go. I was mostly disengaged instinctively, just as a survival tactic, for years before I discovered this site, but I've been interested to read about how people have gone about deliberately disengaging and the process that involves. Many seem to post that it is much more difficult at first, but gets easier with time, and leads to gradual changes in the rest of the family in due course. My guess is that your process has only just begun and has some ups and downs to go through yet, so don't lose heart. In particular, you can move on the process in relation to the conversations your DH has with other people. At this point you can absent yourself either mentally, or preferably physically, not in hostility but to show to DH and the other person that you are not actually part of DH's fantasy family. I do this by either starting a parallel conversation with someone else in the gathering, or suddenly remembering a chore, or whatever. After just two such incidents most third parties will notice that you are not interested in the child and will temper their conversation accordingly, even if your DH does not. And of course you also will stop caring yourself, which is the most important thing.