I'm feeling rather sad tonight too. ((Hugs))

I'm feeling rather sad tonight too. ((Hugs))

I am so sorry you are going through this. I know it is his daughter but he needs to wake up to her true self. I can't believe he is letting this adult come between the two of you, daughter or not.

SDM, Just hang in there sweetie! You've handled this whole thing wonderfully - better than I ever would. You are mourning the relationship you had with DH - especially the demise of hopes and dreams. I just hope in the end your DH will truly see the light, tell Twit to stay away from you and give you the support you deserve. But I've found that many times out of dispair comes a valuable learning experience and a better outcome than expected.

When you told DH to stay with Twit you exercized your right to be treated with dignity. This was just the first step. You have given him so many chances - trying to save the marriage through counselling, etc. You have done your best, and you have done it intelligently. Now it is time to start thinking about you. (((BIG HUGS)))

The sadness you feel I think is you finally accepting the reality and perhaps hopelessness of this situation. But I think once you move through the sadness you will find yourself in a brighter more peaceful place. This may just be the beginning of the end of this Twit drama for you. You saw something on Sunday that has hit you hard. I agree with everything sandy said. I know as hard as this is for you, you have found a new strength and a sense of self worth that will rightfully not allow you to put up with this nonsense from dh and twit anymore. Twit will continue this as long as daddy allows it. Your husbands silence when sd openly lies or brags about hurting people, putting it over people, cheating people, is sending her the clear message, she is right and daddy agrees with her. His silence is participating in, condoning and encouraging her. Sorry, I don't mean or want to hurt you by saying that, but I know it does. For sd to change, her father needs to. For him to change he has to let go of his need to control sd. He needs to allow her to be a 50 year old, married woman with kids, and stop hanging on to he idea she is his 5 year old little princess who needs her daddy. He needs to accept he is not the man in her life now, well he shouldn't be, she has a husband. Can he do that. You know the answer.

I can certainly relate to having people in one's life that you just want to look at and say "do you really think that I am that stupid to believe all the crap that falls out of your mouth".

My mother spent 22yrs dealing with a lady (Mom's SO's daughter) who I swear could be your Twit's lost twin. And I, myself have a Son-in-law that lies and is so self importantly full of BS that most people flee from him by about the third if not second meeting of him. And my DD32? She married the guy (cringe) and she, I guess, loves him.

I don't have to see SIL every often, but if I did, I don't know how I would go ten minutes without screaming 'shut-up, just close your ignorant lying mouth for once in your life, zip it'. It took me a long time to let it roll off and be totally disengaged from the blabbering idiot...now on the few occasions I have to see him it's like I see his mouth moving, but nothing it coming out. I've simply learned to mentally turn him silent.

Hugs to you. You're not alone. That bowl of Ben n Jerry's someone mentioned above sounds good.

Well firstly, can you really believe twits version of her mothers personality.

Secondly, she would prefer to be with her dad because he would've been a pushover, mum would have been awake up to the games she played. May even have played them better. It was far easier to take advantage of dads nature then mums. Perhaps this is why she couldn't get on with mum. Mum called her out on her crap, mum saw through her.

Thirdly and most importantly, dh let you down again on Sunday. It appears he has learnt nothing, still doing the head in the sand thing, waiting for it all to resolve itself. Not being prepared to take the necessary steps himself. He betrayed you yet again,he knew what she was doing, he knew how you felt, did he up and say, no auction is worth this lets go. Did he say to her twit be quiet SDM is trying to concentrate. Did he tell her you had plans, so no thanks we won't all go out and eat, no you had to sit there, and you had to tell her you wouldn't be going out with them to pick up the tab. Sunday must have absolutely crushed you under a mountain of hopelessness and disappointment. I am so sorry.

Finally, no matter if BM held a gun to twits head and trained her to be like this. It is up to her father to tell her he will not accept this behaviour. He has responsibility in this too. Far greater responsibility than BM because he is the parent twit is gravitating towards. But he has seen from bms experience, don't allow twit to do what she wants when she wants and she will cut you out. So he tows twits line, he does what twit wants, instead of what a loving father would do, put the welfare of his child ahead of his selfish need to be number one man in her life, teach her social,skills, manners and respect.

Sorry SDM. Your husband is the foundation on which twit has built her life, her rudeness, greed, narcissism, selfishness and complete disregard for others. He continues to be. Without his support, she would collapse and need to find someone else to prop her narcissism up. Dh doesn't want that. He wants her to,depend on him.

Forgive me, I am not familiar with your back story, but I have read all the above - and you have my sympathy. I do feel the previous post from emotionaly beat up was extremely insightful. I hope you feel better soon - it sounds as if you have done everything you can to improve matters and have now had to let go.

I do think that you tend to see DH as somewhat of a saint - and his behaviour in allowing SD to become such an obnoxious apology for a human being, and never trying to correct her - would suggest that he isn't. Like ebu said - he has put his own needs first.

I am sorry to hear you are sad. some days are difficult, especially after an encounter like you had. You are on the right road and I hope your DH wakes up before its too late.

I also had a couple of uncomfortable encounters recently, felt sad, frustrated, and hurt all over again. It takes me at least a week to recover from these episodes.

Give yourself some time and pamper yourself. You WILL feel strong again real soon. Big hugs to you, you are brave and strong!

I am sorry you had such a bad night she's driving! Hugs!

Now, if she is personality disordered, 50 plus years, do you really think anything her daddeee says to her now is going to make her shut up? You and I both know that with a personality disorder that if you confront them with their errors, they go on a rampage and become more obnoxious, lie, make vile comments, become hysterical. They twist everything back around and make you look like the real reason for their woes.

DH is never going to fix anything now. He couldn't . The best couselors in the world can't fix them. He knows she is a piece of work.

I think if he gets it through his head that if she ever goes near you again and attacks you personally that he better defend you or you are gone for good that would be fine. I wouldn't expect him to call her out in a public place for her lies and obnoxious behavior because it will backfire anyway. She is Personality Disordered and he is not Dr. Phil.

Most of them are never ever ever cured.

Distance is the best advice. She isn't normal!!!!!! Her brain is disordered.
He might have been thinking, "well my wife kicked me out, I better not piss off daughter or I am going to have no place to stay".

You may just have to stand in a hot, uncomfortable spot at an auction just to not have to listen to here anymore.

Which is worse? You being miserable this whole weekend because you had to listen to her dumb ass garbage lying mouth or standing somewhere else at an auction? Just stay the hell away from her.

I hope you are feeling better today and can do something pleasurable. You soooooo deserve it!

Ahh, but you didn't just ignore her. It ate at you, it brought up bad memories and old feelings. It created a sense of hopelessness and frustration in you. That's not ignoring her. She is toxic for you, you have to stay away from her. You cannot stay in the fight with her for dh. Look at stepping back and out as making yourself the winner. Your prize, confidence, self esteem and PEACE. The losers are dh and twit. They get to live in this never ending dysfunctional relationship. You get to get out of it. You are the winner. Toowonda is absolutely right in her assessment of people with personality disorders, and she is absolute right in saying at 50 twit is never going to change. She cannot, your husband it seems will not. The only person in this triangle with a snowballs chance in hell of getting out of this with their sanity, is you. The only person who has a chance of winning is you. Leave the losers to destroy each other. Don't let them take you down anymore.

Because she cannot help it. She has a personality disorder. Part of that is pathological lying. Part of that is craving the centre of attention. They will talk over everyone and say the most stupid things. Things we all know to be untrue. But they get away with it because everyone is afraid to challenge them. You know if you say anything you are in for an outburst of rage. This starts from a much younger age, and it is who they become. Stupid liars, lying for the sake of lying.

She will never be cured. She is almost 50. This is who she is now. It is a real shame your husband is unable to accept and acknowledge this and stop arguing with you over it.

My husbands daughter is exactly the same. Lie, talk rubbish, makes herself look like an idiot. No one, no one says a word. When I would point out something she said was incorrect, you know what. She would literally scream at me, WELL I DIDN'T KNOW. So after loudly talking at all of us absolute rubbish, when challenged that's her response. It turned around to her being a victim, you picking on her for nothing. The way she would jump down your throat for pointing out what she was saying was factually incorrect was bizarre, I have no idea to this day how she could, with her tone, turn her stupidity into her being a victim, and me being the aggressor. But then again, being the victim is something they play well, something they believe they are, so I guess convincing when they do this stuff, because they truly believe it. It's all part and parcel of their personality disorder. Whether they are Sociopaths, whether it is narcissism, or Borderline Personality Disorder. Victim Status is their badge of honour and they all lie.

Her BS about the college and her son needing $, well, she's done nothing wrong to or by you as far as she's concerned, she would be hinting for you to hand over money, perhaps mortgage your house, whatever to pay for her sons college. Because, another part of the disorder - they have no shame.

My SIL told me the Princess of Evil was holding court at FILs house. No one could speak or get a word in. She went on and on about herself and her child and how perfect they are. Then said her plan was to go back to work part time, this woman is a nurse. She told the family that as she had been off on maternity leave she was watching All Saints to keep up with the latest medical techniques. All Saints was a fictional drama set in a hospital, and had been off air for over two years anyway, she was actually watching re runs on pay tv and telling people this was her keeping up with latest medical techniques. She also advised her brother to watch another tv show Cops because he wanted to be a policeman. SHE WAS SERIOUS. Needless to say, he was dumb enough to do it. No, he didn't become a police officer. He is mid thirties, lived with mum till she died, then when mum died he and the Princess moved in with her boyfriend where he still lives to this day. None of my husbands children have ever lived alone. They are incapable, but that doesn't stop them telling everyone else how to live theirs.

Anyone want to be a surgeon? Youtube has a whole bunch of surgery videos.

Not as informative as watching soap operas but a lot better than spending all those years in med school and residency. }:) }:) }:)

Thanks old one. But at 61 I am too old to be stuffed looking at a new career. Anyway, I'm too busy watching re runs of Americas next top model. Just a couple of episodes in, I've lost 10kgs and am now 6 ft 1 instead of 5'2

How mean you all are by the way, not wanting the princess of darkness to nurse you if you were ill. }:)

I have more.

The dark haired 5ft tall quite, well very plain princess of evil and Italian decent loudly announces to boyfriend in front of all, if I have a girl, it will be pretty like me, I swear if I could post a photo to prove what I'm saying I would. She has the biggest stick out ears I have ever seen, and a very long horse shaped face, hidden under she'd say makeup, I'd say spackfilla. And she draws her hair up to a ponytail on one side to draw even more attention to these areas. She sees nothing wrong. She looks in the mirror and sees beauty.

She continues. It will have long legs like me. Her legs are short and thick.

Then as if we went all struggling to keep our mouths shut, she says to boyfriend, also Italian descent and dark haired. I wonder if it will have dark hair like you, or be blonde like me.

F#*#* me dead. She has dryed out bleached to death dry and brittle blonde hair because she has been dying it since she was 15. But she is naturally dark. Here she is Florence Nightingale reincarnated, miss, I know everything, I am super intelligent, and what. She's forgotten she's naturally dark, or she believes if you dye your hair blonde, you get blonde babies. Frig. No wonder she almost drove me insane.

SDM, I don't think they do this because they have low self esteem. I think they do this because they have NO self esteem. They have such a low opinion of themselves they hate themselves and others because they perceive others as being better than them, so they work flat out trying to prove us wrong. They are sick. They have mental health issues and no one can help them because they have convinced themselves they're ok. It's just everyone else is jealous of them and is trying to tear them down. If you suggest they have a problem, they attack, because they perceive you just said that because you are jealous of them.

Oh, by the way, nurse spawn of Satan says there's no such thing as depression, people just use thar as an excuse so they can kill people. So if any of you are depressed, I can pass on her phone number and she can tell you herself, depression doesn't exist.

Ug. Not looking forward to that. My heart goes out to you. I've got a twit SD of my own, but yours makes her look like an angel. Oh how looks can be deceiving! Can't remember where I read "he who speaks first loses" which is relevant to my sd. She's kind of opposite of yours. Quiet, but still evil. Can you just look at her and smile, then pay her a compliment , then change the subject to Oh what great weather we've been having, while squeezing DH's hand gently and smiling sweetly. I learned all the sweet stuff from my SD. She hates it when I use it against her.