Not sure what to title this...
Tonight I had a wonderful night, I carved pumpkins with DH and I's two little girls DD8 and DD3. My sister and brother in law were here with us and we had a great time. We used to carve pumpkins with both SDs and our little girls too but since we moved good SD22 couldn't be here and of course SD19 since we are now disengaged was not invited. I found myself having fun yet I missed the old times of when we were all together and things were good. I mainly missed SD22 a bit. I did have a wonderful time with my daughters though.
After I spoke on the computer with SD22 and told her we had fun but we thought of her and she told me not to worry, her and her lovely boyfriend were going to carve tomorrow. That made me happy, she love Halloween so I know carving is something she loves to do. Then we started talking about Christmas and it was brought up whether or not SD19 was going to be invited. I told her no. She then realized I think for the first time (keep in mind, she is family orientated and rightfully so, wishes that we would all get a long and be a happy family again) I told her I would like to go back and be a happy family too but then I shared my real thoughts about SD19 and what she has done to damage us as a family. I mean, SD22 kind of knows but doesn't know to the extent that I told her. Then I said, "I am sorry, I know you love her and she is your sister but I cant right now and I hope you are not upset with me or your Dad about any of this" She wrote back and it was like a huge weight was lifted off, she said "I don't blame you, I wouldn't want someone that did that to me around either" Then we carried on about how fun and drama free Christmas will be. We are even planning on sledding!!! Yes I love any chance I can act like a kid again 
I just kind of feel sorry for her, she is 3 hours away, her BM treats her like shit because BM and SD19 are alike and her Dad and I are 3 hours away while she works 32 hours a week and goes to school full time with amazing grades (we are proud of her) but sometimes I can sense that she really misses us. I brought up applying down this way since she graduates in May and she is going to work on convincing her boyfriend. I just felt bad because she does wish we were all a family even with SD19 and I cant blame her for feeling that way. I just cant let SD19 in right now. She hurt us too bad. I don't know why I am even writing this, sometimes I think its just to let it out. Plus its nice getting the feed back. Ok good night all.
I can relate to this. I was
I can relate to this. I was just thinking this morning how much I miss SD14. I know she misses us, too, because she and my BS14 have a lot of mutual friends. She has a sweet spirit, and spent almost every free minute of her time here for more than two years. This fall weather had me thinking about the nights that SO and I would play Flashlight Hide and Go Seek with her and her older sister (now 16), and my three kids. We would roast marshmallows, make s'mores, Star trip....they were good times. Until SD21 had a temper tantrum, involved SD16 in it, and now SD14 will endure plenty of harassment from her sisters if she admits to "liking" any of us. And trust me, we've been through this before, and they all admit that's how it goes. Unfortunately, this time, SD14 has shown a couple of signs of change....(called my son a pothead on Twitter. He's not, he's a Straight-A sophomore, very studious, and I know where he's at and what he's doing at all times. She apologized, but...) Not to mention that BM won't allow any of the children around "that crazy woman" again...thanks to whatever lies SK21 and SK16 have told her. Ugh!
Yes that thought is always in
Yes that thought is always in the back of my mind.
Sounds like you all are doing
Sounds like you all are doing quite well under the circumstances. My own sons and step son live 8 hours away. I would like to do family things with them too but I know that someday soon they will have their own families to start traditions with and I wish them well. Doesn't mean it doesn't tug at my heart and I am grateful they are all thriving and love us and the SD's are out of our life not causing pain and drama.