So it’s been a while since I’ve posted, a lot has happened in the last year

Biggest thing is my FIL passed away a few months ago

For his will, he wrote a five-page letter. And in that letter he wrote how much he and my late MIL and had loved me, and that I was a very big part of their family

I was so thrilled that he was so kind and loving to me, even after he was gone! I will always be grateful for knowing this man and all I learned from him in life. Sadly I also suspected there were be repercussions from SIL and OSD, they’re jealous and competitive on a good day and it would not only annoy them to no end that FIL made a point of including me, but he did not include anyone else that was not blood; neither SD’s husbands, nor BM either

And I’m sure the other sore point was the little bit of money that FIL left. While not massive, there was a nice little sum of money for both DH (and I) SIL, and smaller amounts for SD’s and SGK’s. I’m sure in addition to there being resentment that FIL included me in his letter but no mention of BM, that SD’s especially OSD felt that BM should have been the one to benefit from the money along with DH, not I

So a couple months later, at the first family get together without him, OSD behaved in exactly the jealous, competitive, revengeful way I’ve come to expect of her. Beginning with the moment DH & I walked through the front door, and her walking up to us and saying “Hi Dad” and after a long uncomfortable silence, enough to make her point I guess she eventually did acknowledge that I was there too but the real game she played was to go on and on and on (especially if DH left the room for any reason) about all the fun things BM and SIL do/have done together, all the great memories, their vacation together many years ago, how they just “two peas in a pod”

And SIL joined right in making sure to drive home how much she just love love loves BM (all the while we know she goes out of her way to treat me like utter garbage, a non-entity) she is slightly better since FIL passed, but of course can’t resist the temptation to stick it to me either

I was a little confused at first that day at why they were going on so much about the “great” relationship between BM and SIL, but then it quickly dawned on me

OSD was pissed I suspect because of my mention in her grandfather’s will and not her mother/BM instead, pissed I’m sure also that her mother didn’t benefit from DH’s inheritance from FIL but I did, so her way of ‘knocking me down a peg or two’ would be to make a mission to point out in her game-playing ways that while her Grandfather may have loved me a whole lot he was not here anymore but her Aunt (SIL) is, and SIL totally prefers BM over me (yes they’re all peas in a pod that’s for sure – jealous, competitive and resentful)

I should feel bad that they constantly feel a need to ‘diminish’ me but then again, I do remind myself it’s not anything I have done wrong, it’s not that I don’t measure up, it’s the fact that I totally measure up I believe that puts them over the top.

DH’s love for me, and FIL & MIL’s huge affection somehow makes SIL and OSD feel inferior – like they’re the ones that don’t measure up

And they’re way of dealing with that is to try to play me down, rather than simply grow up and try to be the best they THEY can be