SD's apparent lack of consideration
DH's birthday was earlier this month
He heard nothing from YSD until the p.m. when she called to wish him happy BD and to tell him his gift would be late
As she says this SGD starts chatting on the phone because she wanted to tell us they were out shopping for her birthday, which is not until May
YSD goes in to detail telling DH all the stuff they were getting for SGD's birthday that day, the theme of her upcoming party, etc...
So two weeks later and nothing ever did arrive for DH's birthday from her, not so much as a card
Usually I'm the one she does it to; that is makes it clear my birthday or important events are not at all that important to her to acknowledge much, but this time it was DH's turn
Of course he says it doesn't matter, she called that's all that mattered. And thank goodness she at least did that, he stewed about it off and on all day until she finally phoned
Maybe she'll do something like what she did one year after not acknowleding me on Mother's Day she sent an early Father's day gift - a picture of herself and SGD - and told DH & I it was a 'dual' gift: late Mother's Day/early Father's Day.
Maybe DH will get his birthday gift a week or two prior to Mother's Day and she will say it's a mutual gift. Something that is really just for DH but I'll be expected to gravel and thank her for the thoughtful Mother's Day gft. Right.
I don't want or expect anything from her. That's not where I'm going with it. But the lack of thoughfulness or consideration is what irks me. Especially as 'we' never miss her birthday, or that of SSIL or sgkids or Easter packages, Christmas packages. You name it.
I'm glad I don't bother to get much involved in any of it any longer. My name is signed on the cards these days. That's pretty much it
That's the norm in DH's
That's the norm in DH's family. His kids are pretty good about calling him, but gifts, even if promised, might or might not arrive. DH does the same.
I put it all on ignore. Not my concern.
DH never misses the gifts for
DH never misses the gifts for his kids and grandkids. It's hit and miss with us and usually it's me they don't bother with. But when they don't bother with DH they don't seem overly concerned about it either.
I'm with you about putting it all on ignore. That is really what I need to do. Nothing much to do with me. Whatever
I could have written this post.
Except I would NEVER be acknowledged on Mother's Day and the only thing I get on my birthday is a two-word text "Happy Birthday." That's the only time SD contacts me, BTW. Once per year, two words.
But my SO does like your DH. He sulks all day until he gets some kind of word from SD. This is what really pisses me off because he gets calls from all of his family, my family, I plan a special day/meal/activity for him, he gets thoughtful gifts ... and yet none of that is good enough and you can just SEE it in his face - that he's waiting to hear from his Princess Goddess to make the day complete.
SD does the same thing to my SO. Tells him a gift is coming, it's late. It's often something very odd or very impersonal. Now that she has kids, it's usually something about them - a photo, a handprint, a scribbled picture. That's fine for him.
Last Christmas, she sent us a "joint" gift - a word puzzle book. I guess we were supposed to take turns using it.
I did the obligatory baby gifts and 1 year old gifts for each of the gskids. Now I'm out and won't do anything anymore.
Wow 2Tired, yup yes I agree
Wow 2Tired, yup yes I agree it sounds like the same SD, same attitude, same actions right down to the photos of them or a puzzle book LOL, sounds like our "joint Christmas gift" last Christmas; an online course sent to DH's email. Neither one of us did anything with that one
So rediculous
This past Christmas, my DH
This past Christmas, my DH and I brought Christmas gifts to my SS's house for him, his wife, and 4 year old. For the last few years, there hasn't been anything in return. After we got home, my husband texted his son to let him know that his birthday gift (card and gift card) was inside one of the Christmas bags. His son responded, "sorry we didn't have anything put together for you two, but we figured if you needed something, you'd get it yourself". My husband was very taken back by this message. I reminded him that I don't remember the last time his son acknowledged my DH's birthday, Father's Day, or Christmas. His son will make a joke that his Father's Day card is still at the store. Next year, we will only buy for the little ones. No more gifts for adults who don't appreciate it.
What a rude, entitled brat! I
What a rude, entitled brat! I'm glad you're only buying for the little one going forward. I'd also recommend givng a modest physical gift while putting the rest in bonds or a 529.
Wow JLRB, how rude of your SS
Wow JLRB, how rude of your SS. That is really disgusting, Sorry you guys are dealing with that