Okay twice now in 6 months. I have a recent post here about moving past the anger towards steps.....I know why I have had trouble.....it doesn't stop! I have not slept well for month but when I woke up this morn husband told me that I would be getting an email from his younger son (27) and told me not to read it, just delete it. Husband said SS was being a little S*IT, caught up in blame all over again.

When he came unglued on his dad in Aug when we deciding not to attend his daughter's b.day party which date was moved to accomidate bio mom erupted and went on and on about how we were terrible parents, tore my husband up one side and down the other, telling him how he should act and how he shouldn't act, what he should say and what he shouldn't say. (sounds like he needs to listen to a little of his own advise) He then told us not to contact him and I have not. Husband was mad at first but slowly forgave and was speaking nicely again about his son, started to make contact and then this.

Sure enough, the email was in my inbox. I flagged it as junk without opening it and then deleted my junk mail.

Thank goodness for my husband and I both that I had a counseling session this week. I actually could not take any of this stuff anymore, had so much hurt and anger from past sitautions and knew I needed help moving past it all so this was the first session with her. This was one of the topics we talked about. So this morn when this happened, it was very easy for me to not care. I had no problems deleting the email. My husband on the other hand was very very upset but applied what I learned from the counselor earlier this week and I think that helped him too.

I do believe what we dish out in life comes back to us, and I tell ya, this kid has alot coming his way when his daughter gets old enough. This kid has literally put us thru the wringer. I think husband and I are realizing that our kids/steps are going to have issues from their childhoods that us trying to help with will only cause more problems. We have to take a giant step back and let them figure things out for themselves and if they one day can see us for a person rather than the parent they felt we should have been, maybe we can move fwd then. Relationships do not work if they are not on mutual ground. Finger pointing and blame is not going to make anyone happy and we choose to not be a part of it.

I was born in '62, husband in '60......I cannot even begin to imagine what our parents would have done if we would have been so bold to ahve said the things to them that our kids have said to us. Holy, holy!!