Read something I wanted to share as this has been a question I have asked myself repeatedly and I know other parents on here have done the same. When I read "nonverbal" I saw it as the act of the parents leaving that caused the child so much pain and possibly made them feel unloved or unwated by the parent that left.

"If a child is told, verbally or nonverbally, that he is or she is of little value, young parts of the child organize their beliefs around that premise. They become deperate for redemption in the eyes of the person who gave these messages. Thereafter these parts carry the burden or wirthlessness, which makes them believe that no one can love them- a belief they will maintain no matter what feedback is received from others. This feels like a theft of self-esteem from the very person who took it away. Ironically, the person responsible for the theft becomes the redeemer. In this way, seeking the comfort becomes an operative pattern in the adult life. These burdened young parts exert a powerful influence over the person's intimate relationships as they constantly seek redemption- the lifting of what feels like a curse of unlovability. They will return to the person who stole their self-esteem in this quest, or they will find someone who resembles that person......Other parts of the child's self are likely to take on the qualities of the person who stole his or her self-esteem and sense of safety." author, Peg Streep