Will your skids take care of you in your old age?
Forums:
The odds are not good. Read this:
http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/02/05/in-blended-families-respon...
Interesting discussion after the article. Would you care for your step-mother? Would your step-daughter care for you?
Not in my wildest dreams can i immagine my skids doing anything remotely nice for me - or even for their dad in his old age. I hope i am wrong and they will outgrow their selfishness. Would not bet on it though.
Also see Wednesday Martin's comments.
^^^THIS^^^ Might as well kill
^^^THIS^^^
Might as well kill myself because if I don't skid/BM probably would one way or another. Plus, if the shoe was on the other foot I would NEVER take care of that brat either!!!
If on my deathbed someday &
If on my deathbed someday & these stepchildren of mine walk into the room I wouldn't have to worry about them taking care of me. The mere sight of them would put me into cardiac arrest!
hell no. wouldnt' want her
hell no. wouldnt' want her anywhere near me! i have my own kids who will do that.
What a tough situation,
What a tough situation, Cheri! Hope you are able to take care of yourself. You are in the proverbial sandwich, with additional layers added in for extra fun.
Given how much you need to do and how many people rely on you, i wish you the best of health and stamina! And quite honestly, after you have raised 3 kids on your own, i see nothing wrong with them taking care of you in your old age. I keep telling my kids the same thing. They are boys, and could probably care less. Which they will: care less than girls do.
I will care for my SM and my
I will care for my SM and my most recent SF if needed. They have been very kind to me for years. My SF who raised me from 6-18 and is a complete jerk will see nothing.
One of my FSDs already told me she'd take care of me. The others will pretend I don't exist, I am sure.
"Would you care for your
"Would you care for your step-mother?"
No. And this is not because I am mean to her, it's just that she is a toxic, mean-spirited person and if my father happens to go first, that will be the end of my association with her. My father knows that and is ok with that. MY SF, I will help out with in a heartbeat. He's an awesome guy and his kids (my stepsiblings) are fantastic.
"Would your step-daughter care for you?"
I don't know. My DH and SDs and I have not talked about this. It's something we plan on discussing when the girls are in their early thirties. I do not expect them to, though, and have back up plans if they do not want to or cannot.
Uhhhhhhh......no. She will
Uhhhhhhh......no. She will not have any input as to how I live out my life. She is not my kid.
Exactly. I have my own
Exactly. I have my own family, and we help and take care of each other.
I have a SM and I would take
I have a SM and I would take care of her. My BM PAS'd the heck out of my 2 sisters and I, but as an adult I have moved closer to her and my dad and I've gotten to really know her. She's an only child with no close family around. . . I'd take care of her. She's not drama like my BM.
I under no circumstances want SD to ever feel like she has to take care of me. BM has already drilled it into her and her brother's (not DH's) head that they are going to have to take care of her. She can keep her crazy.
This is fascinating! Really?
This is fascinating! Really? Tell us more, Jmom. Sounds like you really like your SM.
I too was alienated from my dad as a kid and only began to see myself as a separate entity from my mother, with separate interests when i was in my 20s. I did not get closer to my dad or SM though. How did you do that? How old were you when you understood what your BM had done? How is your relationship with her now? And with your dad? Do your sisters see eye to eye with you? Does it help to have siblings in the mix when you are dealing with PAS or does it just make it a broader "shared psychosis"? I am thinking of DH's 3 PAS'd kids now. They do not seem to have any independent thinking yet.
My stepdad and I get along
My stepdad and I get along very well, but I would not take care of him because he has two able-bodied sons to do that.
I love your signature,
I love your signature, twopines! I always loved that quote. Miranda has some of the best lines on Sex and the City. And really, aren't we all that very misunderstood witch? who asked the brats to come and destroy our house???
HAHAHAHAHHA- LOOK AFTER ME IN
HAHAHAHAHHA- LOOK AFTER ME IN MY OLD AGE, THEY WOULD WAIT UNTIL THE DEATH RATTLE SETS IN AND THEN COME AND SAY ANY LEFT OVER NASTIES BEFORE I LEFT FOR A BETTER PLACE!!
The thing to do is to plan to
The thing to do is to plan to need as little help as possible. I did take care of my dad for a decade but he was driving etc. The last 6 months he moved into an independent living place. Some of the people did hire a helper to come once a day to help them bathe. One lady was 108 years old!
This was not a nursing home. All meals, transportation to doctors, utilities (except phone), for about $1600. A second person just added some for the meals - maybe about $400. Lots of activities and a big social life.
Still not free but my SS alone would cover us.
My SD couldn't even make it
My SD couldn't even make it to the hospital before her dad died and she had plenty of warning. She didn't plan to attend his memorial, so I had to offer to pay. She was close to 50 at the time. They wouldn't look after me and I wouldn't want them to. I hope I don't need too much looking after! I'm estranged from most of my family too and I am considering leaving the state to be with friends who would look after me. My husband was not looked after by his kids. I looked after him. I told them I was worried, he was failing, etc., but they expressed no concern. Very sad. Is it generational? Three of four siblings have looked after my parents as best we can. I really think that we're going more and more in this direction: they don't give a damn about the people who loved them and brought them up.