The idea of a biochild of mine being related to Skids makes me feel ill
This might be the most awful thing I've ever said, and Christ knows I would never, ever say it to DH, but...
The idea of any child of mine being related to the Skids, or calling them brother/sister makes me feel violently ill.
I love the idea of having a Bio with DH, but I really think that once there was a baby in my arms all I'd want to do is protect it from the Skids and keep it as far away from them as possible.
DH and I have a significant age difference, and (yes, I know this is absolutely awful)I'm really hoping his fertility drops off before mine, so that I have an acceptable reason to go down the donor route. At least then I'd know my kid/s didn't share blood with those little monsters, and maybe DH would feel more okay with not forcing them to play siblings knowing that they're not actually biologically related.
The idea of having a baby
The idea of having a baby that is dh's is less appealing to me than the idea of having a child related to the skids is absolutely repulsive to me. I feel like, if I had a child with dh and stayed, one day I'd hear it repeat one of the skids lines or mirror their gestures, and after I was finished vomiting, I would have completely no love left for that child. That's how repellent I find dh's kids.
I know that's hideous. I'm never anything but kind to his kids, and I'd never tell dh any of this. I can't help what I feel in my heart though.
Dh was originally strongly against any more kids while I was ambivalent, but he's totally flipped and now pushing really hars for an Ours baby, and the idea of it is just completely horrifying to me.
Are the bad characteristics
Are the bad characteristics that your stepkids have also present in your DH? If not, they probably got those from BM anyway
Some, but not most. There
Some, but not most.
There really is no contraceptive like seeing ahead of time how your spouse parents though, is there?
I don't feel any better knowing what comes from bm, though, because that's always going to be in our lives. Dh doesn't insulate our lives at all from his drama, and I don't think a baby would change that.
My kids would be picking up the same awful traits, just from skids instead of bm.
I get it and I'm with you
I get it and I'm with you sort of. We have been together 13 years (almost), married for 5 and now he wants to have a kid together. Now be mindful that I wanted to have kids together about 7 or 8 years ago but he said no. Now that his child is almost 18 (October) he wants to have a child. No!! My child is almost 15 so I'm in the home stretch and it feels good.
If his kids are young and you bring a baby into that situation, you become mama bear to all of the kids (yours and his) forever. Your child with him will see his kids as their brother and sister so no matter how much you dislike them, your child won't and that's forever.