It's nice to know that I'm not insane. I always ask my S/O to put himself in my shoes. I ask him how he would feel if I was in this much contact with one of my exes. One that I profess to hate. His response is, "you don't have kids". So I guess he thinks that just because he has a kid with this woman, that all of the things I mentioned above are okay for him, but it wouldn't be for me because I don't have any kids at all, let alone with one of my exes. Oh, and when I said that she didn't even have sex with him when they were married. I meant it. His daughter is a product of one of BM's many infidelities. She is not my S/O's biological daughter. When confronted with this information prior to the birth of FSD, he opted to stay. BM told him she was raped but didn't want to get an abortion. In an attempt to save his marriage (and be the hero even though this wasn't BM's first rape claim) he told her he'd help her raise the baby. It obviously didn't work. 9 months after FSD was born, S/O caught BM with the bio dad, the supposed rapist. That was his last opportunity to be free of this woman and STILL he continued the facade that was their marriage.

Now three years later here I am trying to be a supportive GF and make a life with him and his daughter, he refuses to entertain the idea that his lack of desire to set proper boundaries with his ex might be because of residual unresolved feelings. This denial is being fueled by our therapist making it MY issue. We might stand a chance if we had someone who could say that it MAY be possible. Not someone who calls me jealous. When he says there's nothing wrong with wanting to know what's going on in FDS's life even when she's with her mom, I always say that there's no way to be there 100% of the time unless you get back with her mom. Then and only then is that possible. FSD lives with HIM not her mom, isn't knowing what is going on in her life 99% of the time enough? It pisses him off that I say that every time and he starts ranting how he doesn't want to be with her and she doesn't want to be with him. I say that if keeping inappropriate contact with BM is SUPPOSED to be in FSD best interest, then wouldn't it be in her best interest if her parents were together? Same rant and he adds that it's not in her best interest for them to get back together because they hate each other. It's a vicious circle. Like I said, I'm not asking him to verbally or physically abuse this woman. ALL I'm asking is for him to stop being available to her 24/7 and to stop engaging in conversations that in no way shape or form affect their daughter. If he can admit that it doesn't benefit her then he should be able to admit that it wouldn't hurt her if they stopped. If I meant ANYTHING to him he should try to understand and if he can't he should try to do it anyway because it's obviously causing me stress. I could understand if I was asking him to stop talking to BM, don't let her see her daughter, pretend she doesn't exists but I'm not.

We're currently not on speaking terms because of what I've said and because of other things that have happened since our therapy session.

Idk how many of you know that Plan B is but I recently "had" to take one. I'll spare you the details but basically we had an accident and since S/O "isn't ready to be a father (even though he already is) and that we don't know each other that well and that he doesn't want another BM and that he's afraid I'll leave and take our kid". Now, this isn't the first time I've had to use Plan B but it's the first time in this relationship and it's the first time I was actually on the fence about it. On one hand I'm enjoying being child free but on the other hand, I'm in love with my S/O and we're SUPPOSED to be having a life together and he supposedly wants to have kids with me. Also, it wasn't 100% sure that it was even necessary for me to take it. But I didn't want to take the gamble and be wrong. He said that he thought it was a good idea but he would support me in whatever decision I made. I talked to a few close friends and decided that I'd do it. I know it was my decision but I was really hurt by the fact that my S/O was basically saying he wanted me to do it but he'd support me if I didn't. There was no, comforting and basically shoved the decision off on me. I feel like I'm not good enough to have his ACTAUL kid but BM was good enough for him to stick around and help her raise a kid that she went and made with someone else? WTH. I haven't voiced that last feeling to him but that's how I feel. The "incident" happened Sunday. I took the pill Monday. So It's still fresh for me. Come Tuesday and we get into an argument over something SO trivial but he refuses to admit to his role in the tiff. Which is what he always does. He never accepts that what he says or does has an effect on how the conversation goes. This stupid argument was because I was having a conversation with one of my co-workers while I was on the phone with S/O. S/O proceeded to interject and tell me how incorrect I and my co-worker was. He sent me a video that he felt would prove to us that he was right. I watched the stupid video and he was in fact right, IF and I say IF he had heard correctly what my co-worker and I were talking about. He "misheard" however. When I restated what I had originally said he was like, "oh yeah, you guys are right". >:( !!!!!!! He then proceeded to deny that his whole intent on making watch the video in the first place was to prove us wrong. He was trying to label it a miscommunication when it's actually a clear cut case of him being more concerned about being right then actually listening to what he's trying to be right about. He refuses to admit it so I got off the phone with him and haven't had any desire to talk to him since yesterday.

So our therapy session, the Plan B situation and his inability to ever take responsibility for himself is keeping me from talking to him at the moment.

We had an in depth conversation last night and he finally agreed to setting boundaries for BM and to stop having superfluous conversations with her. Idk if he's done it yet. We'll see what happens.

Well, S/O spoke to BM today. The reaction was very uneventful. She just huffed, said alright and hung up. I'm happy he did it and I hope that's the most of the reaction that we'll ever get from her over this. I'm never going back to our therapist and I'm looking for a new one. Thank all of you for your advice. Despite what that therapist thought, you guys help A LOT.