What did I do?
I married man with a hand(s)ful of spoiled and strong-willed adult daughters a handful of years ago after just losing my only child. Believe me, these girls will never accept me because they are tied to their domineering, manipulating mother's hip and because they want to keep twisting dad around their fingers (gulls me). I've been thinking that if I was by some miracle I'm able to stay with my husband, that I would have noone to care for me in my old age if he died first, and I will always be in a state of agitation (He's weak and enabling with the finances, as most are I'm reading, and we fight about it.). My physical and mental health is suffering because of this and I will admit that part of that is my fault because I don't play the game well; I let it get to me, even when there's nothing currently afoot. I just wish I had the guts to leave and maybe in the meantime, he'll do it for me. I often wonder if I hadn't been so insecure about being alone after my child passed (my best guess as to why I hurriedly married) if I'd have found someone I could've lived happily-ever-after with. So I'm just venting here, obviously.
Oh, honey!
Oh, honey! I am so very sorry about your child! That must have been so difficult. I can certainly understand why you would have married in the hope that you would find a family and a place for yourself in the world. It can be an incredibly lonely place. That his children could not open their hearts to you and that he will not try to help with that is tragic. You are wise to be concerned about finances now. Have you spoken to someone by yourself and possibly considered some sort of longterm care insurance for yourself or an annuity for your income or life insurance on your husband? Obviously you will need a plan and once you have it in place you will hopefully feel much more secure.
I hope that you are able to find some people to talk to who care about you on a personal level. Maybe through a social group or volunteering or church? You deserve to have people around you who are supportive and you enjoy. Even if you are with your husband, you are not trapped with him alone. You have a right to find some happiness despite the pain that you still feel. I wish you that happiness and send you hugs and hope.