I TOTALLY can relate to the feeling you have. We have full custody of sd11 --been married 3 years.she goes to her mom first and third wknd. back when we first got married i LIVED for first and third wknds, despised the day she came home and LIVED for the 2 weeks in summer when she was gone and the week at christmas. literally, i thought after every wknd when she came home, it's only 12 more days till she leaves agin, or whatever. and DONT EVEN get me started when a month had 5 wknds, b/c then we had her almost 3 wks straight!! I cried the second half of our honeymoon b/c i was dreading going home. i feel you. Terrible way to feel, especially in your own house! I read a few different places that i can take up to 7 years for a stepfamily to blend. That's a long time, but i think you're totally normal for feeling the way you do. It does make me wonder how much of the parenting responsibility is on you? When I stopped trying to be super stepmom and just started letting stuff that should fall to dad anyway, fall to him, I started resenting SD's presence a lot less. I made my plans, regardless of waht wknd she was where. If I had a trip planned to go see my friends, I'd go-it's dh problem to figure it out. So, if you're over burdening yourself in the parenting department and YOUR life stops EOW, then I can totally see how you feel that way.

After the first year of being miserable, i figured I needed to make a decision: do I live for 2 months a year and hate my life the other months or just live my life, love teh child the best I can, but do my own thing? I chose the latter and it has made all the difference. It may sound selfish to some, but guess what? SMs get to be. I would specifically plan trips around the wknds when she was at home, not necessarily to avoid her, but so i could have 1:1 time w/ dh when she was w her mom. Having the freedom to do that, really made a difference and made me resent her less and helped w/ my sanity in general so i didnt feel like i was losing myself. it had an interesting effect: I miss my SD when she's gone now. I mean i dont cry when she leaves or anything, but when she comes home, I'm genuinely glad to see her. I realized I was kinda blaming her for my unhappiness, which is totally unfair to do to anyone, let alone a kid. My favorite quote is, "We tend to seek happiness when happiness is actually a choice." I hope that you make that choice and pursue things you love and enjoy, regardless of what week of the month it is. She is DH responsibility and he can figure it out. It's critical to have that autonomy. I love that I can check out when I feel like it. it's a perk of being a stepmom. I havent disengaged at all, very active and involved in her life w/ everything, love her to death now, but dont live and die by the wknds shes' home. you know? happier stepmom is better for everyone. So embrace the fact you're not her primary caregiver, tell DH where you're going and when and have a ball. You'll find when you do that-it does get better! b/c you wont feel like you're in jail every other week! woohoo! Good luck!

I feel ya'. Some weeks without SD suck as much as the ones WITH her!! The dread sometimes overwhelms me. This week, I'm ok. I haven't really thought much about it. Weeks like this are too few. Normally, I think about her coming back from the day she leaves till the day she gets back> I hate it. I feel like I'm being stolen from.