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Dinner time dilemmas...again!

confusedsm03's picture

DH and I agreed on a meal plan for the kids. We also agreed that if the children didn't finish their dinner, they would not be aloud to have a snack. This plan first was implemented when I first moved in with DH bc I was very lax about, well everything, and DH wasn't. Time goes on and we alter the rules but a few months ago decided again if you don't finish dinner, you don't get a snack. No issue for DD anymore, she caught on very quickly the first time around. SS refuses to eat anything I make for him. Tonight I made "hotdog burritos"...ketchup and hotdogs- SS LOVES ketchup so I thought I hit jackpot. Anyway, like every other night, he refused to eat. Some nights DH excuses him, some nights he wants him to eat some of something, tonight he yelled at SS, sent him to time out, SS again refused to eat but didn't want to get down bc he wanted a snack. DH freaks out and yells about how this is BS and storms away. I go to talk to him and he's mad at me bc he yelled at SS, bc I imply that he should punish him. I told DH that if you don't want ur kid to eat dinner, thats on you but the rule will stay the same for my kids. SS should NOT be aloud to sit there after I've spent my time and energy to prepare a a meal and tell me how disgusting it is and how he doesn't like it. It's rude. I don't care if he doesn't eat it, just don't be disrespectful. Apparantly, even though as of lately I back DH up on TONS AND TONS of stuff with MY DD that I don't agree with, DH thinks I'm irrational for expecting him to eat 2tablespoons of meat and veggies at a meal. That is the serving size for a one year old. What really blew my mind was that before DH blew up, he sent DD to her room bc she was bothering SS as he was tyring to eat dinner. I said after she left, that I didn't think that was fair bc he was sitting at the table for an hour already at that point. Why does DD have to be punished bc SS didn't want to eat his dinner? I guess I'm even more upset that just 2 weeks ago I told DH that I really didn't agree with his punishments for my DD and I felt hurt that she was always in trouble (sometimes for meaningless things). He says to me "Being a parent isn't easy confused and it's not always fun. This needs to be done so she can learn" yet tonight DH was whining about how all he did was yell at SS. Well, that's all you do to MY DD anyway. Later tonight after DH took SS home, DD came to me and asked "Why does DH do blah blah blah when it's just me and him but when SS is here, I'm always wrong?" Why can't DH see that he is being irrational himself and if he thinks that trying to teach your own son to eat dinner is irrational and cruel, then he has an issue, not me?! WHEN WILL I EVER GET HIM OUT OF THIS FAIRYTALE LALA LAND HE LIVES IN WHEN SS IS HERE?!

youngmama1b1g's picture

video tape him. Theres some cheap web cam programs for laptops and home computers alike... record him with just your daughter at dinner and then at dinner with SS. once you show them to him, see if he sees the difference. If he doesnt show him.

Disneyfan's picture

He continues to punish them differently because he is allowed to do so.

How about changing things up. Let him handle his kid and you yours.