This morning I told my husband I needed to run errands.When I came back my husabdn was gone with the stepkids and it was so quiet in the house, just me and the baby. Peaceful really. I did not know what to do.
When they came home it was endless banging and up and down the stairs and yelling and general annoying behavior. Since I have been on this site I am realizing slowly what has been happening to me is what happens to many here. I want to disengage.

My husband thinks I back out of things to allow him parenting room with his kids, actually when I backed out then he actually started to parent, but sometimes.
Like to today, 5 yr old ss peed all over himself, he seems to run to the bathroom at the last possible minute. He pissed all over his shirt, the bathroom in my son's room and all over his shorts. He does not listen when given instructions and instead of doing what he was told, to get a change of clothes and change upstirs he paraded all around the house not listening. He changed his shorts but left the peed on shirt on. He did not tell us he peed all over the floor in my sons rooom, like WTF. His dad acts like a clueless idiot. I can't help the child cause I am feeding the baby. Had I not went downstairs and seen there would still be piss all over the bathroom. I wanted to clean it myself but I refused.
After the peeing incident I told my husband I was leaving and to say goodbyr to the baby cause he has to drive the stepkids 3 hours away. He asked me what my plans were this afternoon.

I had to put a halt to this prying because if I want to disengage I don't need endless questioning. I told him to stop asking me questions because this would be happening alot. I told him to look up disengage in the dictionary.

He said ' So you are actively disengaging?" Yup.

Had a pretty good afternoon with my newborn son and now I am waiting for my kids to come. Trust me, they are no angels but I am so glad my kids and his kids are on opposite weeks. Now I can focus on them. They have ADHD so parenting them can be challenging but my husband never helps me with their routine and does his own "disengageing" so it is high time for me to also.

This is my second marriage and complicated. I am not happy but we have alot invested. At this point I am so mad at my husabdn all the time when those brats are here that I doon't make much effort when they are gone. He seems more married to his Iphone anyways.