So we're finally engaged after a couple years. I'm very happy and excited to start this new chapter in my life. Things have gotten pretty hairy over the past six months with BM though.
Not really WITH her, because she got SS10 and her other stepchildren from her current marriage placed in state custody from alleged beatings. Turns out there was a bigger reason why she threatened my life last year when I made a fuss about SS10 being too heavily medicated on Vyvanse -- She was getting paid 800/month because he was considered mentally ill by the state. Also turns out that the three other stepchildren of hers were all heavily medicated, so she and her current husband were raking in 3200/month for medicating all of the children. It's a long, sickening story that we've heard through court sessions and SRS workers since the end of January.
My SO and I are not currently allowed sole custody of his son because we are not married and live out of the state. Our judge (down in LA, we're from KS) is a deacon at a church and heavily frowns upon living out of wedlock. We also had to have background checks, homestudies, etc done in the past couple months - Which is fine. We're completely clean of anything.
SS10 is treated like a baby when he's here with us in KS - By almost everyone. He manipulates that at times and relishes in it. He's pretty street smart for a ten year old. He likes me. I know this, I provide structure and rules, I talk with him and engage in activities with him. He respects me - Most of the time. But it's all mentally exhausting, being consistent and trying to show him that not all women in his life are either going to give him a bottle or beat him up mentally or physically.

So why am I posting? We're fighting for full time custody but my SO is so engrossed in working overtime to pay for all the lawyer fees, traveling expenses and whatnot that he's not spending time with his son. I'm not working - I'm going to school to finish my bachelor's right now. SO's parents take SS10 often to help us with our schedules because my SO is currently working rotate.
I'm frustrated right now because it's been two weeks and the "new" is wearing off of SS10 being in town for the grandparents. SS10 is no longer medicated at ALL because I fought long and hard to show everyone how unnecessary it was. Doctor's visits, research, etc. It paid off, now he's a normal kid. He has ENERGY. What a concept, Huh?
Today I got in trouble because I wanted to stay on campus and study then go do a "power hour" at a boxing club that I have a membership to. This means SO's parents would have SS10 for about five hours longer if they waited for me, or 2.5 hours longer if SO just didn't do overtime and got his son after work. His mother is mad that "plans have been changed" ... SO is mad that he can't work overtime.

Really? Does a ring on my finger mean that I give up my time to literally be the nanny in this situation? Or am I taking this all wrong?

Besides, he's 10. I'm a firm believer that he can start working on independence and spend short amounts of time at home alone. There's plenty to do around here.