Here we go again!
SD19 is about to be thrown into the street as she is behind in her rent and FH & BM are stressing bigtime!
If any of you read my entries about 18 months ago, you will know that she lived with us before, but left because we wouldn't allow her to get engaged while in our care. She moved in with her bf at his folks place (garden flat) 100km's away and they eventually asked her to leave because she did not have a job and it was too expensive for bf to support her on his salary. She had tried to get a job, but couldn't.
She then moved out into her own place (FH & BM helped with the deposit & first month's rent) & she found a job as a bar lady at a sports club. However, she wasted her money and failed to keep up with her rent. She was also living in a dodgy area where there are frequent drug transactions taking place in her street. We visited her just before new years and FH cried all the way (1 hours drive) back home. He was concerned about her. I felt for him but also decided that she was at least employed and independent.
She told FH last week that she had to leave her flat in the first week of April and was worried because she had no where to go. BM said she couldn't have her, so it left us to help out. At first I kept out of it and then over the weekend FH started to ask me what we should do. I thought about it and then decided that I shouldn't be a cold-hearted b*tch about this, as we have my DS20 staying with us again after an 8 month absence, but FH asked him to come back & work in his company. So I decided to rather be helpful with SD19 and see what I could do.
I decided to tell FH that she could come to us, but would have to sleep in the dining room which we would try to make comfortable for her. I would give her a job in my music school as a receptionist (I would be her supervisor & would train her accordingly). She has to pay rent & we would force her to save towards her studies. (she only has grade 10). There would be rules with consequences and she would have chores to do (as all of us have). The first time she causes trouble in our relationship, she would be asked to leave.
FH is now acting as if I want her back but he doesn't...! WTF!!!
if dh doesnt' want her moving
if dh doesnt' want her moving back with you guys then don't let her.
sometimes you have to let kids learn the hard way to really make them grow up. (my mom did and because of that, i have a DAMN GOOD career-and great retirement ahead of me)
good luck!