We didn't do anything last year at all because we couldn't find anything that SS17 wanted to do. My bios and I had plenty of ideas but didn't do them because SS didn't want to. Well too bad skid. THIS Summer, we are doing a whole host of things with OUT you. I recommend you do what you can with your bios - you don't want everyone looking back with regrets that "never did anything". DO what you can with what (and who) you have at the time.

I so wish I didn't waste last summer...

Making memories with my daughter is more important than someone else's perception of fairness.

Then leave your unfair DH at home brooding and missing his daughter and just enjoy the time you can spend with your daughter.

Seriously, they grow fast. Don't end up with regrets. They will turn into resentment for those who held you back.

Then tell your DH to stick his boring ass home and he can pine for his daughter whilst you and yours go off and enjoy your time together.

Life's too short to be waiting around for anyone to start enjoying living.

Your DH needs to realise that life doesn't go into goddamn limbo 'cos precious ain't there to spend it with youse.

I get so friggin' pissed with men that do this - ask him if he did the same when he was still married to BM? For instance, if their kid was spending a night at a friends house and him and BM wanted to go out for dinner - would they put their plans on hold to wait 'til their kid returned, so she could join them? Flamin' ridiculous!

I say go enjoy yourselves and let him be pathetic and feel sorry for himself if he wants.

DD20 and I live for the times SD12 is not here so we can go do our stuff together. We've always been very close. SD12 lessens our enjoyment of our time together. So we plan stuff for when she's not here.

GAAAAAAH! OMFG I loathe that "it's not fair" crap!!! What most people actually mean when they say that is "it's not what I want!" Which has nothing at all to do with "just and fair" and is ridiculously self-serving.

There is patently NOTHING unfair about doing some activity while SD is not here. "Unfair" would be to go do an activity as a family and leave SD at home to watch TV or something. Refusing to put YOUR life on hold just because she's with her mom doesn't even begin to qualify as unjust.

You want a comeback? "SHE says it's not fair that you got divorced, and yet you did that anyway!" (Because obviously they're both using "fair" to mean "what I want" - and that comeback illustrates that nicely since at that time they did not want the same thing.)

I doubt your SD is sitting around doing nothing at her mom's house because your DD isn't there. Why should your DD have to miss out? Take her out and have fun! If your DH doesn't want to go, his loss.

My BS18 doesn't miss out just because SS15 isn't here.

Such nonsense. It is perfectly reasonable for you to want to do things with your child. Even when you have multiple kids all your own, there are times that you do things with one or some and not the others. Some of these parents seem to love to insist that all be shared and fair unless you are talking about their kids in which case then the rule no longer applies.

As long as your husband is free to do things with his kids without your child, how can he complain.

When you are together things can be done together, but who should be expected to sit around waiting for the perfect storm of people being present desiring the same things to do something.

My husband is always super touchy about his kids being left out or shortchanged. They are teenagers who don't want to be seen with adults anyway... Yet when they are with us he spends the entire visit exhausting himself running from one activity to the next. He never gives a thought to my child missing out, but if we do something with my child without them he feels disloyal.... Such nonsense.

The only good thing about these super dad weekends is I can vent here while he runs to the ends of the earth from one activity to the next.

Good luck with this, and enjoy your plans, your are more than entitled!