In regaurds to my last post
I had the talk with DH about going back to every other weekend as things were when we first started dating, and it went as horrible as expected. He threw the "you hate my kids" line at me and in all honesty I think the majority of the reason he said no is because he doesn't want to pay more in child support (cant confirm). I dont work during the week (even when I had a part time job) and me working is silly because he makes enough for both of us, making it 100% my job to take care of his kids and with summer around the corner I feel so trapped.. we've agreed against day care for our two so I cant just work during the week. While we had his kids on spring break I literally hid in my room with BD4 and just came out to cook lunch for them. He really doesnt spend much time with them, more so on the weekends. I just dont see the point of why keep them. I know its my fault for pushing for them, but they really had me fooled about who they really were.. on top of that my complaints on their behavior will never be solved, no matter what we do here it doesnt matter because they KNOW next week they'll be back with BM doing whatever they want because shes never home nor does she pay any attention to anything they do. Whats the point of having them during the week just for them to be in trouble 90% of the time and trashing my house. When he could just have them on the weekends and I might actually enjoy having them around.. am I being ridiculous?
No, you are not being
No, you are not being rediculous. If anything, you are the one being realistic.
Tricky situation
Im guessing your husband fully supports you and your..2? little ones together? Being a stay at home mom is a pretty good luxury in this economy. Does the amount he saves in child support outweigh the cost of child care for your kids while you go back to work? If the skids are old enough, why not put them in summer camp a few days a week? Or just let them sit and play video games all day?
Honestly I can't say,
Honestly I can't say, circumstances of the divorce has him paying a mere $30 a week for 3 kids, so if he were to revist court (im not sure she even would take him back to court) that he'd get charged an actual realistic amount.
DH has a great job and encourages I stay home with our little ones, I picked up a part time job on the weekends, but I'm on bed rest as of now so I had to start my maternity leave. As far as child care we're both just against, I'm pretty terrified of something happening to my children..
I would try to make that
I would try to make that happen by other means. Maybe they will want to go to BMs on their own? Think what might cause that. Maybe you will get a sudden amazing job offer “lifetime opportunity” that will not work out in couple of weeks after they gone
Its possible the eldest two
Its possible the eldest two would go but SS11 is obsessed with his dad and "gets homesick" when hes at BMs..
other reasons to work
"me working is silly because he makes enough for both of us, making it 100% my job to take care of his kids"....how about:
1) independence
2) self respect
3) balance of power in the marriage (all relationships, especially marriage no matter the quality, have an element of power)
4) much better future/financial security. DH can lose his job. Anyone can.
5) example to your children of a strong mom and work ethic
6) even small children take people - i.e. Mom - for granted when she revolves her entire life around them
7) more retirement/vacation savings
Just a few reasons. My kids are 14, 18 and 19. Seems like yesterday they were babies. If I did not have my career, i'd probably still be married to my ex - it was a 'not bad enough' situation' that thankfully he pulled the trigger on ending. Because of my career, our lifestyle did not change one bit. And I met my wonderful, amazing DH a year later. Because of my career, I was not stuck. So there are many reasons, for yourself and your own kids, why it makes sense to at least keep your foot in the door so when they get a little older you can get back in the game.
And bonus if you have less time with Skids.
I spent years selling cars
I spent years selling cars when BD was a baby and I regret working while she was so little, when I didn't have to.. so its just not an option right now.