SD & messes - button pushing!
Okay so SD10 pushes my buttons because she knows I like a neat house (within reason). And okay this is really a vent I guess. But I'd feel better if somebody read this and if have advice great too.
One example of the button pushing is that we have a large decorative mirror hanging on dining room wall. I have asked countless times that she (and SS13, but he stopped) stops touching mirror, spraying mirror with squirtgun, pressing oily nose again mirror, etc.
So every week I clean smudges and splashes off this mirror. Not a HUGE deal and I realize that mirrors need cleaning and stuff gets dusty. But I'm talking about SD continally doing it just to be a little sh*t!
Last night she goes "I blew bubbles on the mirror!" with a sh*t eating grin, she evidently couldn't wait for me to discover it on my own. So DH stopped what he was doing and very gently and kindly had her clean the mirror with windex, reminding her gently that "We've asked you not to dirty the mirror, remember?".
Well of course she did a half assed job and I had to re-do it later.
I hate that SD knows she can push my buttons like this. She knows I hate cleaning up needlessly after crap she does, so she does it more, I'm pretty sure.
Any comments/advice???
Btw DH is of the mind that in
Btw DH is of the mind that in the scheme of things issues like this are not a big deal. And I *WANT* to agree with him and be the bigger person who just cleans the mirror over and over because it only takes a few minutes.
BUT, something in me says this little turd shouldn't be dirtying stuff and creating MORE cleaning tasks for me just because she enjoys annoying me and loves the control it gives her. It just pisses me off inside even though I don't want it to! Uggh!
Thanks for the vent....
Heres an idea. She's 10 years
Heres an idea. She's 10 years old, she knows exactly what she's doing. Since she is doing it to get under your skin, she needs to be taught that it's not okay and You're not going to allow her to act this way.
Next time she does something like that, have her clean the mirror. Hand her the Windex and paper towels and tell her she needs to clean up after her self. Make sure that YOU stand by and watch. Tell her that "You need to clean the mess you've made and you need to do it the Right way." And stand there and watch her do it. If it's not good enough, have her do it again. When she makes messes around the house (on purpose) have her sweep the floors or vaccum. Have her clean windows or mop the floor.
When a child learns that they are the ones responsible for their own actions and messes, the incidents quickly die down.
If she has an attitude and refuses, put her in her room and when she is ready to clean up her mess, she is free to come out and join the rest of the family.
Hope this helps
I remember those half ass
I remember those half ass jobs!!! DEJAVU!! Of course GG would think they did a wonderful job. How blind biodads are to their spawn's shenanigans.
Kudos to DH for at least making her clean it.
With some of our posters here, DH would make SM clean it as scullery maid then reward SD on her creativity in blowing bubbles!!! :jawdrop:
My FSD does the same
My FSD does the same thing...and I like cute decorations ie: baskets with flowers, old nick nacks, ect... and something always seems to "accidentally" happen to any and almost all decor I have put up. Needless to say...I don't decorate anymore because it always gets destroyed, has gum put on it, or written on.
Gum and writing on your
Gum and writing on your decorations???? How do you not lose your mind (not to mention your temper)! It's interested to see how much more mature and tolerant other people are than me. Because I would raise holy hell if one of these kids put gum or wrote on my things. Omg... I might be a ridiculous as to accidentally get gum on one of their (many) prized possessions...
See this is why I posted. I
See this is why I posted. I knew someobody might have something had not thought of!
I should be the one to make her clean it and stand there and make it as uncomfortable as possible for her (even if it makes me uncomfortable, I am hands off as possible) as a DETERRANT. If she feels no pain, only me, then she wins!
Because DH is sooooo very gentle and he won't make her do a good job.
I will try this and report back how it goes! It won't take long. Will have to warn DH ahead of time. He won't like it but he will support me trying it...
She doesn't clean up
She doesn't clean up anything...and if she does FDH tells her how great she is for cleaning up a mess she made in the first place...so clean it and not have to hear that...or have to clean it anyway after she has cleaned and have to hear FDH brag about what a wonderfully helpful daughter he has...I'll just clean it...LOL
Check out this picture...its one of her messes
http://i89.photobucket.com/albums/k219/txfarmgal36/a452b4479e17.jpg
LOL she made that whole
LOL she made that whole entire mess? Looks like she was cooking, does she cook? I hope you made DH clean it if she didn't...
She and one of her friends
She and one of her friends did it...there was flour all over the floor and all over the carpet like they had had a flour fight...she has no respect for her home or hers or anyone else's things. No she doesn't cook she just likes to play pretend and make a huge mess..this was done at like 2 in the morning when we were asleep.
Our DH's sound really
Our DH's sound really similar.
I know in my case this is the flip side of marrying someone so very kind and gentle and good. In general those are fantastic traits...
But problem is, SD takes advantage of his kind nature and he is blind to her manipulating him. He really buys her innocent act. (NOTE: SS does not take advantage and play him.
Boys are so simple. Girls can be such manipulative little you know whats!)
It makes me want to vomit at times... truly.
I know exactly what you are
I know exactly what you are talking about vera! My SD does things just to get under my skin. And most of the time she wont even deny that she did somthing, she will have no problem admitting it either. She will stand there with that god aweful smirk on her face or when I ask her something she will do that annoying arm folding, eye rolling and foot tapping with an attitude! I hope you dont mind, I added you as a friend, it sounds like we both could use one lol
Katie
Sure, we can be friends.
Sure, we can be friends.
Lately I enjoy this site more than phony FB where everyone's life appears perfect (barf). I mssged you back...
I know...FSD is FDH only
I know...FSD is FDH only child and I think that even throws another kink in the deal :? Yes my FDH sounds very much like mine and gets totally taken advantage of by FSD...I don't think I have ever seen a more manipulative child in my life. FSD can get into trouble at school and she can convince FDH that she didn't do it....she kicked the window out of her room because she got mad and told FDH that she didn't mean to kick it that hard and he didn't even get mad. BS like that really irks me.
Wow. Your DH sounds even more
Wow. Your DH sounds even more in denial than mine. Want to hear something sick? I secretly can't wait til she gets a little older and finally does stuff that proves she's not an innocent angel, without a doubt. Stuff there is no denying or thinking was just an innocenet mistake. }:)
LOL...me too...only thing
LOL...me too...only thing about that is that it might backfire on us and we have a grandchild to raise.
Oh hell no. That would be
Oh hell no. That would be BM's nightmare, not mine. As I told BD18, I will support you through just about anything but I will never be living with another baby, done with babies, thank you. I have made this crystal to clear to anybody who will listen, including DH. I will be that grandma who babysits when you go out, even go on trips, but live with baby. NO way jose.
My SD did everything she
My SD did everything she could to push my buttons. I kept taking it until I finally blew up a few times. My topper was her one job to set the table for dinner. She kept setting it with Salad forks. I would point out her error and ask her calmly to get the right forks. About the tenth time, I lost it. I finally asked if she was mentally retarded? Because if there is something wrong with you, we have bigger issues. I was really harsh. She was offended, but it finally stopped happening.
The best thing for us, was she no longer lives here and it is truly her mothers problem. I did get to hear this week that she was able to get the top of her ear pierced and she was proud she got to break cartiledge. So glad this kid doesn't live here anymore. That would have just been another fight between BM and DH.
LOL!!! I would never live it
LOL!!! I would never live it down if I asked if SD is retarded, BM would lose her mind and would definitely bring that up in court mediation (I know someday we will be there again, with her trying to get more custody and money from us).
Yes I have to watch what I do and say because it will be brought up later. Wonderful way for a grown woman to live in her own home, huh? Thank God they are gone half the time so I can relax in my own skin and own home.
Plus SD is "gifted" which makes her play dumb act that much more annoying that DH buys it. (Gifted, yeah gifted at being a manipulating phony little...)