I know the issue of suing for CS should be black and white - bm is non vustiodial and should of course financially support ss8. It's not that simple unfortunately. I just need to see it in writing and vent. So we have had custody since ss was 2. We never sued for CS. At first it was because bm was harassing Us and we were intensely stressed. We didn't need whatever small amount she would be paying and we hoped by not involving money bm would eventually stop trying to destroy our life . And after about 6 months she disappeared. She is basically absent, popping up 1-10 times a year to see ss for a few hours. We then hoped that she would simply disappear and bringing money into the equation would complicate that. Well, she hasn't - she pops up just often enough that the courts won't call her absent. Our circumstances are changing, we need to get Medicaid eventually (sooner rather than later) and when we do that the government will sue bm for CS. We know that when that happens the crazy will start up again, she will ask why are we doing this to her (?!) (eye roll) and possibly we will have to deal with endless "if you can't support him then I want him" (because he is just a play thing to be passed around. Sigh). And the mostly absent unstable and hostile bm will probably suddenly become the calling us ten times a day, screaming, taking us to court, in our faces bm. We do t want to do it. We remember all to well what it was like. We can't not have health insurance though and theoretically we do think she needs to pay CS. It's just a mess.