Codependent to his son?
This weekend was our weekend with my bf son. Therefore, I thought it would be a fun idea for my bf and I to go to a short trip with an indoor waterpark. Let me remind you that my bf son age 8 is a terror and he was on punishment at his mother's house for throwing an action figure through her flat screen tv. Now that we were scheduled to go the bf asks me if he should call the BM and ask her if he is allowed to go. I was extremely upset as I worked 70 hours last week and just came off a long week with his son. It didnt occur to my bf that i just wanted to spend sometime alone with just him. We have him 50/50 (yeah right) more like 70/30.
Anyway I told the bf no he could not go so he seemed depressed about it. We went on the trip and when his son called he lied about our whereabouts and he asked my 16 year old daughter to lie about it too. Are we not allowed to have fun if he is not at our house? Should we have to stay home every other week because his son is not there to go with us? Not to mention the fact that the entire time there his son called every 30 mins and talked to his dad the entire time while he was at his moms house.
Is it just me or is there something very wrong here?
His son mother is also ridiculous but she definitely had it right to put him on punishment for what he did and the dad disagreed that he should even be on punishment. My daughter will be graduating from high school in June and other than the way he parents his son he treats me terrific. I keep thinking that I am leaving when my daughter goes to college because the things he does never ceases to amaze me.
Lets try and turn the fellow
Lets try and turn the fellow around first. He doesn't understand that his first obligation to the boy is to not be his pal but to raise a man.
Go to Amazon.com and search for books on "weekend fathers or visitation fathers" and the ilk. Buy the one or more that you think is appropriate. Give him the book(s) and tell him that your marriage depends on how he sees himself in his sons life. Actually if you follow the following advise you won't have to leave.
Meanwhile you disengage from this by following this advise:
http://www.steptogether.org/disengaging.html
So wait, I'm confused...were
So wait, I'm confused...were you supposed to have visitation the weekend of trip?
Good advice above. "Stepmonster" by Wednesday Martin is a good choice.
No there was a typo. There
No there was a typo. There was no visitation that weekend