Morning issues
I have a big issue with my BD5 getting ready in the morning. She also has ADHD, ODD, and some anxiety. We CANNOT get out the door in the morning. I have tried getting her up earlier, making her go to bed earlier, charting, and screaming at her, and none of it seems to be making a change. She will drag her feet, lay in bed or on couch instead of getting ready, then get dressed. Then she will go start coloring, or go start talking to stuffed animals, and the whole time I am saying "Is everything on your list done?" "Did you brush your teeth/hair?" and on and on and on. She has a simple list of 6 things that need to be done before we leave. 1.Get dressed, 2. Put on shoes, 3.Brush Hair, 4. Brush Teeth, 5.Get backpack ready, 6.Take medicine. What usually happens is that getting dressed and putting on shoes and f'ing around takes up about a half hour, and by the end I am yelling at her while packing her bag up and trying to force her to take her medicine on the way to the car, and she normally skips brushing her teeth and hair and goes to school/daycare with dragon breath and rat nest hair. She is turning 6 in two weeks,I think she is old enough to do everything besides take her medicine without me lording over her and in her face, and I can't be leaving 15 min late everyday. I can't seem to figure out what to do. I obviously know that yelling is not an acceptable practice, but I swear I have tried everything that I personally can think of to do.
Start letting her sleep in
Start letting her sleep in the clothes that she is going to wear the next day...?
She won't look all that great, but who cares if it gets rid of some of the fighting.
Yeah, we have tried that
Yeah, we have tried that route. I forgot to mention that. When she is already dressed she still finds a way to try to refuse doing everything else. I am thinking that no matter how few things she had to do she would drag her feet, and I can't find a consequence or motivator that has worked more than a day or 2.
Try shorter hair? Dry cereal
Try shorter hair? Dry cereal in the car? You get ready and then ride her for 15 minutes and out the door you go. Shoes not on? Car. Breakfast? Car. She can chew sugarless gum to clean her teeth---if she gets done and in the car without causing YOU anxiety. Ben there, done that.
Start getting her up 3 hours
Start getting her up 3 hours before you have to be somewhere. Have her go to bed 9 hours before she has to get up, even if that's 6pm. She will stop this babyshit.
I have been there/done that.
I have been there/done that. I can so sympathise with you. We tried everything. She didn't have to leave for school until 8:10 am. Every time she wasn't out the door on time, she had to get up 15 min. ealier (and go to bed 15 min. earlier) the next day. The point at which we were getting up at 4:00 am is when I put a stop to it because it obviously wasn't helping the situation. Like your DD, mine would *find* a way to take hours performing the simplest task. The solution for me, sadly, is that I treat her like she's 3 in the morning. I get up and get completely ready myself before I even wake her up, then I tell her step-by-step what to do.
Is she on the right
Is she on the right medication? We have friends that have 2 kids (ages 5 and 9) that have ADHD and I'm not sure they have the same problems with their kids.
I had a ADHD kid and I think
I had a ADHD kid and I think the last suggestion is best. First have the backpack completed the night before along with a sack of her clothes and shoes. Drag her out to the car and start driving. Shove her meds into her and nag her through the teeth brushing and hair. It gets done or it doesn't. Bag of dry cereal and it gets eaten or it doesn't. Now the question becomes what if you arrive at school and she's still in her night clothes?
Kick her out and let her peers handle it. ADHD's can always do better than they appear. They just need the incentive.
I agree that it's mostly the
I agree that it's mostly the ODD, once she has taken her medication and it has had a chance to work, she is normally A LOT more compliant, only I am not usually the one to get the benefits of the medication, the school or daycare is. And our doctor explained to us that the effects of the medication don't build up in her system, so once the dosage wears off she will go back to her "normal" behavior. It's in varying degrees, too. Sometimes she's just a little irritating and trying to push buttons, and other days she is in the throes of a full-on tantrum complete with yelling that she hates me and that she is "NOT GOING!" When she has tried the "I'm not going" thing, I usually just shut off all the lights and walk out to the car, and she comes running out. The downside is, I have to go back to the house to lock up and usually get her bag. I think it would be easier if the other adults (namely the ones at school and daycare) would actually let kids suffer consequences of their actions instead of blaming the parent's lack of responsibility. If the kids leaves their gym shoes, lunch/lunch $, homework behind, or "forgets" something that I bet the parent reminded them of at least 100 times, it falls on the adult, not the kid who was perfectly capable of doing the task that needed to be done.