How do you do the impossible?
DH of Starla here, my wife is disengaging from relations with my daughter. We both agree that BD is actively trying to break us up and play both sides of the fence. She is aggressive when she thinks she is in a position of power and has in the past attached or abused people and animals. She has been diagnosed with Asperger syndrome but I don't view that as an excuse for violent behavior.
My wife was attacked by BD two years ago and I then disengaged and it has taken the prompting of my wife to get me to contact my children. There have been infrequent visits since but they have been strained and sometimes violent when BD comes to stay.
I also have a BS whom we share a close relationship with and both of us wish to see.
How do I go about fulfilling my parental obligations to my BD and still maintain our shared relationship with BS?
If she's abused people and
If she's abused people and animals, she needs intense psychiatric help. Those are behaviors killers display while children. It might be a good idea to look info getting her into a program that helps troubled kids, or ask the professionals who do help your dd if they know of any centers/professionals who could work with your dd.
I have Aspergers too and agree it is not an excuse for violent behavior. I think you are doing the right thing by your dd by addressing this now.
DH here, thank you for your
DH here, thank you for your prompt response.
DD is seeing a therapist for Aspergers weekly. The therapist has a good relationship with her and is working with dd on anger management at present. The X seems satisfied with the therapy and does not feel the need to seek further help. How ever when my wife and I met with dd's therapist we found that she knew nothing about dd having been seeing a psychologist when she was with us or that dd had a psychiatric evaluation (after which she attacked my wife and MIL both within two days of being released).
I think my dd is being denied appropriate treatment by the X where she resides but I can not take custody due to dd's adversarial attitude toward my DW, our friends, neighbors and the local kids who want nothing to do with her any longer.
I want to understand what is going on side my dd's head but don't know where to go from here.
Do you have any suggestions? Recommended reading perhaps?
Thank you for your time.
You're welcome. I hope I can
You're welcome. I hope I can help. I agree that dd isn't getting the amount of treatment she needs. I don't think she should be in your home, at least not right now. I think that she presently needs to be in a secure place for troubled teens where she can't hurt anyone else. Or herself. It would be a good idea to document how she's not getting all the help she needs. A judge might have to get involved if you have done all you can to persuade your ex to get dd help, but she hasn't.
What are the 3 things you
What are the 3 things you have to watch out for in kids? - setting fires 1, hurting animals 2, I totally forget the 3rd but I think you have a huge problem on your hands!!!!!! You need to get this child into a place where she is unable to hurt others or herself.
I have a niece with Aspergers
I have a niece with Aspergers and two friends with kids with various Autism spectrum and each child is like an Animal magnet! They love and take great care of aninmals and they find it easier to relate to animals than people sometimes so it's hard to consider Aspergers as a reason--I agree with you there.
I think there is some mental breakdown in the midst that's beyond the normal 'angry kid' stuff. I advise that you get with the Mom and try to come up with a plan to get her into required professional help so they can at least get her diagnosed before she becomes too old to control or be forced to be cared for. There may not be anything much you can do but the more you know, the better you can deal with whatever is going on whether it's treatable mental illness or an outright, broken since birth Damien spawn--knowing will help you decide the best path. Good luck!
Hmmm, my 13 year old DS has
Hmmm, my 13 year old DS has Aspergers. He was officially diagnosed when he was about 5 (we knew he was a little different, but it wasn't really evident HOW different until he started Kindergarten). Typically, Aspergers and violence don't necessarily go together...I know all kids are different, but it sounds like your daughter has something more going on. I agree that she may need more intervention than she is getting. I applaud you for taking your family's safety seriously, and distancing yourself from this little girl until she is able to control her impulses.
Your write-up is actually
Your write-up is actually educational. A lot more than that, it's engaging, compelling as well as well-written. I might want to see a good many more of the kinds of great composing. Locksmith Brandon