Are you judged by the family?
Forums:
I was wondering if any of you are being talked about behind your back by the relatives of the evil step child. According to some, asking for honesty, cleanliness, and responsibility doing chores, is being too hard on the skid. Seriously? It's nothing that hasn't been asked of every child who has "normal" parents, but because you're the step mom, is it classified as evil.
Is this happening to any of you?
I'm seriously getting one of
I'm seriously getting one of those shirts!! I think I'll put home wrecker on the back because I too am alwasy blamed for DH leaving Inbred.
I don't know BM's family
I don't know BM's family either, but have all of the other side judging me.
Kmetz, you're right, you can't win. I expected her to be respectful, honest, responsible, and I'm hard on her. Disengage, and your a horrible person. Don't give a damn anymore. Let them all talk!
Would love to send her to live with them for a while, see what they think then.
Oh...SheSloth and BM has
Oh...SheSloth and BM has everyone on that side of the family and BM's friends believing I'm an evil b***h! Let them think that! SheSloth is just about 2 1/2 years away from making her own decisions, and I highly doubt she will come around me then. They will be the ones having to deal with the monster they helped create.
No doubt that the Sperm Clan
No doubt that the Sperm Clan has had some very colorful things to say about me. They have had far more to say about my bride.
The Sperm Clan gene pool is very shallow, toxic, and polluted so anything the drooling toothless dipshits have to say is pretty much nothing but pure train wreck entertainment.
"Your mom does not need that expensive jewelry, shoes, and clothes. The only reason why she has it is because your Step Dad is rich." No mention of that fact that after she booted the Sperm Idiot for his serial infidelities with underage girls my bride went on to finish a dual major BS with honors, an MBA with honors and has had a very successful career as a CPA. However, they are right. I do buy those things for my bride ... because I can afford to and I like doing nice things for my soul mate.
"Your step dad is an asshole. He told us that we would never get out of paying child support no matter how many children your father has." Actually I said "No matter how many out of wedlock spawn your idiot son has his CS will just continue going up and I will make sure he or you pay every single penny in support that (Skid) should receive from you." - In conversation with Sperm GrandHag.
Etc, etc, etc...... Just remembering the good old days of barring their idiot asses makes me smile.
I so know what you are
I so know what you are talking about with the materialistic stuff! I buy myself anything, or DH and I go on a vacation or something, and all I hear is how evil it is that DH doesn't spend all that money on SheSloth! They all forget that I'm the main wage earner in the house, and when I buy things, it is money I earned...when we go on vacations, it is from my bonuses or the extra money from my check that I put aside (because DH's check doesn't even cover his share of bills and SheSloth's expenses)! Oh, but I won't buy SheSloth clothes from the expensive stores...make her wear consigned clothing or clothing off the clearance rack! Um, honey....that is the same way I buy my own clothing! But SheSloth NEEDS these expensive clothes! It's ridiculous! Oh, and we are even cussed out if we don't spend money on an activity! We go to F1 on tickets that were given to DH for free by a client of his, and it is still seen as "oh, well you did this without her?" Who was DH going to take? SheSloth who has NO interest in F1, and would have sat there the whole time on her phone or complaining, or me who actually likes F1? "Well, you should have bought a 3rd ticket so she could have gone!" At $300+ ticket? Oh hell no! Just like the X-Games...that was $100/ticket, and that came out of my pocket! I wasn't about to waste that kind of money for her to walk around texting all day and complaining about the heat!
I hear you. Very similar for
I hear you. Very similar for us except the money bitching is about things that the SKid has that his 3 younger half sibs don't. "Not fair!!!!"
I hear the weather was beautiful at the F1 race. I miss home let me tell you. We are long time residents of the area ourselves. Mom and dad retired there. We will be looking at retirement homes there ourselves in the next decade-ish.
Enjoy the amazing country and culture and have some bbq and ritas for me.
This bunch only sees the kid
This bunch only sees the kid a few times a year, and the skid puts on a show. All sweetness and smiles. Then she lies and cries to anybody who will listen about how horrible it is at home. Poor baby. :sick:
Probably. However, we have
Probably. However, we have zero communication with BM now and never have with her family as long as I've known DH. Dh's family.... they almost all of them have their own interesting step situations so I doubt we come to mind all that often and if we do, I never hear about it. I know SD runs her mouth to at least one of her cousins but I think they've been dealing with the crazy for so long that they don't take any of it at face value.
So how do you all handle
So how do you all handle Holidays? I personally cannot pretend that we are a happy family any longer. I prefer to stay home, and let mini wife go with daddy. I'm at a point in my life where I don't want to play games anymore, and put on a false smile.
I don't know. I at first
I don't know. I at first avoided, and now I refuse to actually meet the BM or any of her family. And I plan on maintaining that forever. Fortunately, they're over an hour away so it's unlikely that I'll run into them by accident. The BM apparently invited me to the skid's kindergarten graduation, which was of course in the middle of the day during the week and it was this big to-do and you had to pay for tickets. First off, I think making a big deal out of kindergarten graduation is ridiculous and secondly I have a job. And I had a big meeting to run that day with one of our Senior Directors. Instead my DH went with his parents. So I'm sure there was a bunch of talk about what a bad wife/stepmom I am. But I could give a crap because I don't ever have to hear it.
In my case it's DH's family
In my case it's DH's family that feels they know what's going on, when in reality, they don't have a clue as to how this kid can be. BM I've never met, and never will. DH's family get togethers consist of whispers behind people's back, and looks back and forth from one to another, all while pretending to be a loving family. I just don't have the energy to pretend anymore. They can talk about me all they want. I'll be at home, relaxing.
Absolutely!! 1) MIL judges me
Absolutely!!
1) MIL judges me for the break-down of SD14 and SO's relationship. She believes we should suck it up - allow SD to treat SO like shit and just continue to grovel and crawl up her ass. She's already told SO that he needs to get his "family" back together. Family meanng - SO, SD and SS - we mean nothing.
2) BM and her cronies love to judge SO and I - they talk about SO being "selfish" for moving on with his life.
3) SO's immediate family (SO's Aunties & their adult kids) judge me for being the reason why SO doesn't visit them any more. It can't possibly be because they've taken BM under their wing and treat HER like the blood relative - oh no.. it's definitely SO's fault, for daring to fall in love with another woman when he should have had the decency to remain single and cater to BM's every whim until the kids become adults.
They ALL make me :sick:
Would any of you continue to
Would any of you continue to participate in the family get togethers if you were in my situation?
These are the facts:
Skid is not held accountable for anything, no circumstances for bad behavior, lying, not doing chores, and so on.
Skid has no respect for anyone, including her dad.
Skid only showers if she's leaving the house.
Used pads out in the open.
Does not use toilet paper or flush the toilet.
Skid dresses like a tramp.
Skid is definitely a mini wife.
DH has made it clear that we don't agree on parenting. I have disengaged. The family thinks I'm hard on skid, because I expect all of the above to be dealt with. DH thinks she's doing just fine...he's clueless to many things, but aware of the above.
I'm tired of DH siding with skid so she doesn't get mad at him. He basically backs up his daughters rotten behavior, therefore pitting the family against me even more. I don't feel the need to go to these family functions when DH and I are not a team. Admittedly, I'm having a hard time respecting my DH as a man. I pray this girl will leave some day, but I doubt she will. She has no idea how to take care of herself, due to DH not teaching her responsibility. I think DH and her will live happily ever after. If she doesn't leave, I'm sure I eventually will. I love DH but I didn't sign on for all this. He led me to believe he was on board with parenting. Once we got married, he went back to lazy parenting. I hold a lot of resentment for that. His lies affect my whole life. I don't know how he will react to my not going to family get togethers anymore, but at this point, it doesn't matter. He's not the one they are condemning. Don't get me wrong, their opinion means nothing to me. I just don't want to put the effort into faking that we are all doing just fine. I'd rather stay home, and enjoy the quiet.
So what would you do?
Thank you for your honest
Thank you for your honest opinion, Sally.
Also to add on to my above
Also to add on to my above question....Would you prepare the dish to pass for your DH, or let him handle it himself?
I know the knee jerk reaction is going to be, not to prepare it. I'm really not trying to hurt or punish DH by not going to these things. I just don't want to deal with it anymore. It's true, he could change it all, but that will never happen.
Don't want to be petty, but I don't want to be used either.
???
I get it on all three sides,
I get it on all three sides, Inbred and her clan of yokles loves saying how I'm a home wrecker and am mean to his kids because I don't let them run arround doing what ever they want, IL's think any problem there is with the skids, like dPPP still being in a damn diaper at 6 is some how my fault, and my kids SM is always saying I'm a bat shit crazy BM. I'm exhausted just thinking about all the stuff they say I do.
The Evil always have minions.
The Evil always have minions. It sounds that you have many.
}:)
Am I judged by the family?
Am I judged by the family? Don't know. Don't care.
It's possible BM's family "judges" me, but I literally could not care one iota less what any of them think of me or about me. If one of them were to be so foolish as to voice their opinion to me directly, I would probably laugh, honestly.
I don't think DH's family judges me. They all loathe BM, I'm considered a serious upgrade.
If they did voice some judgement though, I might make one attempt to set the record straight on what *I* think is going on. One. If they persisted though, I'd just stop going to his family stuff. *shrug* I have the support of MY family, and my DH, and that's all that really matters to me.
Actually, I think that might be the key. If your DH supports you then the rest of it doesn't matter. If he doesn't, then it makes everything else a million times worse.