Yes, and yes, to your first two questions! SD19 and SD17 are two extremely entitled young women, and even my DH acknowledges that sad fact. We live in the UK - it is just as much in evidence here as anywhere. Instead of encouraging his daughters to get Saturday/part time jobs to help finance their ventures, DH just writes a cheque and away they go! I really fear they will suffer from "failure to launch" due to DH and NPD BM treating them like pampered princesses all their lives.

Between our government enabling these young people and the way they were/are raised.....they are doomed.

*sigh*

A local politician here got into a lot of hot water for daring to speak his mind on the subject. When asked what he thought of our growing (and alarming) increase in high school drop out rates, he said "It's simple. Parents are not forcing their kids hard enough."

When pressed to explain his reasoning, and what basis he was laying this fact on, he said "It's not fact. It's opinion. If a kid drops out of high school, I fault the parents!"

Oh man! The media went to town on this! Parents responsible for kids dropping out of HS!?!?! Say it ain't so!!! Oh no! It can't be the parents fault! Why it must be the teachers! Or the government! Or Hollywood! Or aliens! but holding the parents accountable for dropping out of high school!? That's CRAZY TALK!!!

I can't speak for other places as I have only ever lived in America, and I don't have any intention of starting a political debate here, but look how much heat Mitt Romney got for pointing out that 47% of Americans don't pay taxes. 47 PERCENT!!!! Whatever your social beliefs, fiscal beliefs or political affiliations, 47% of people getting things for "FREE" is absurd and has nothing to do with the word "democrat" or "republican". The other 53% cannot carry that load, and the affordable health care act is making it even worse. When kids are growing up in a society where if you don't work you qualify for healthcare, food, shelter, daycare, a PHONE! or INTERNET! subsidies, than where is the motivation to work? The separation between poverty and rich is widening and the middle class is shrinking so I guess you should either do nothing and reap the benefits or be lucky enough to be rich so that you can afford the "taxes" (errr healthcare) It makes me sick to think about the kind of society that my grand children and great grand children will grow up in. I can only hope and pray that the pendulum swings the other way and very soon.

^^^^^^^^ YES YES and YES !!! ^^^^

I know kids are more entitled in this generation and for me, I blame my parents. My BS19 has no reason to get a job, when grandparent on both sides slip him money everytime they see him. I have given up arguing about it. I just quit paying for anything extra with him at school. I am paying his fees and housing, he has a scholarship and has to maintain that. He doesn't want to work fast food this summer, so my rule was you have to take classes then and live on campus. So he is. I can only do what I can do with this attitude since I don't provide much extra, I have nothing to take away. I can afford his expenses for college and don't want him to have debt, but I struggle with am I causing this entitled attitude, by not making him take out loans. Keep in mind, I do make him cover books and anything else.

I think we are all trying to do what is best for our children and not raise them entitled, but societal pressures to do better than our parents, has led to this. I don't want him to have college debt, because I did. But, lately, I think I am creating this. He is talking about his doctorate and I will not help with that. Frustrating as hell. We went and celebrated his birthday yesterday with all the family and the kid got at least 4oo from them in cash. Why work?

Don't know why, but I thought of this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q49NOyJ8fNA

Thanks for the link Draco...Hadn't seen that. I agree with him...Praying my kid doesn't become a liberal in college, like most do.

I think so. Many parents don't parent their kids. Some try to at some point but it's often too late. A lot of parents let the kids play one house against the other without finding out what really went down. A lot of kids are being dragged into adult issues they don't need to know about. The movies they watch and music they listen to are scary. Don't even get me started on the video games.

yes.
SD has always gotten whatever she wants, and the world has always revolved around here long before the divorce ever happened.

all i can say is that my eyes have been totally opened since marrying my husband. i was raised in the 80s & 90s and taught that hard work is what it takes to have nice things.....then i come into this family of divorce and it just disgusts me to no end that DH's kids suffer NO consequences for their crappy actions. and if either of them are not getting along with a parent, then they get to make their own choice of where they want to stay. THEY ARE NEVER GROUNDED OR FORCED TO WORK FOR ANY EFFEN THING! it really annoys the piss out of me and makes me fear for the future. my opinion is that all these crappy kids are going to have a very rude awakening when their parents and grandparents die off and they blow thru their inheritance only to find they have no money left or people to take care of them. can't wait to laugh my ass off!

you are right. you do not owe your SD a dime!

Yes, she is screwed. but why should you work hard all your life only to have all the benefits go to SD14 (and others). personally, i have no grandparents left, no inheritance, and when my parents pass, i'm not expecting to get anything bec. they really don't have much and never had. i've always had to earn my own money. and i'm working hard now to save for my own retirement. if your DH and his Ex aren't teaching their kids the meaning of hard work and being self-sufficient, then those kids are doomed. plain and simple. -- anyway, sorry to be so opinionated, but watching my own step shits go thru their self-entitled little lives gets me fired up. lol

cool. sounds like your children are on the right path. they are ambitious and hard working --> 2 very good qualities to have!

Agreed! Not just divorced parents, but many parents seem to be afraid of hurting their child's feelings or having any expectations of them. One person actually remarked that it "breaks his heart to think the this children could have ever been unhappy because of him."It blew me away. It is a parents job to teach and prepare, and in doing both of those things you are going to make a kid unhappy more than once. It's like these people have their entire self worth wrapped in whether their kids like them or not. It is selfish to the kids they purport to love so much. They will be woefully underprepared for the realities of a world that does not think
twice about hurting their feelings or telling them the unvarnished truth. What will really be sad is when all of these super pal type parents are older and have no savings because they spent it all giving their kids the world, will come to their kids needing help, and the me generation will be too preoccupied with themselves to care. I come in part from the Asian culture and yes most Asians will give the shirts off of their backs for their kids, but it understood that the kid will be respectful and that the child has a duty and an obligation to take care of their parents in their elder years. My other half, selfish as the day is long and the more they are given the more they believe they are owed.

Yes - I believe it's called "Child Centered Parenting" and personally, I think it will be the ruin of our society.

I have experienced this entitlement mentality with my skids for the whole seven years of our marriage. MSD is the worst offender. She thinks that she can have the rights as an adult when making decisions like what house to rent. The sad thing is that my husband allows it much of the time. I have been vilified when I point out the fact that she is only a child. Fortunately, my husband is listening to me, but only after I have strongly objected to being treated as if I was on the same level as his children.
Our newest drama involves the MSD thinking she deserves an allowance when she consistently complains about the one chore that she does on a daily basis. She states that if only we will pay her, she will not complain. I tell her that until she can do the chore without complaint; she will not get paid; period. It is offensive to me that she feels entitled to get paid for simple household chores like the dishes. I don't mind paying for extra chores and we have tried to implement an incentive program in the past, but the girls still begged their father to pay for things and the whole reason for the program fell apart.

Yes, yes and yes. Calling legal adults "children." Excusing the inexcusable, yada yada yada