Just plain lazy!!
Lazy! Obstinate! Seriously!!!
After all that Saturday evening when in front of DH I got on to SheSloth AGAIN for not using a plate when making a sandwich...and the look from DH like I was being too hard on her...I go into my kitchen this morning and there are crumbs and jelly on the counter AGAIN! I look in the dishwasher...sure enough, no new plates! I'm willing to bet since no one was home when she had her sandwich, she also ate it in the TV room! got a sticky note and put it on the counter next to the mess "USE A PLATE!!!" I surely plan on bringing this up to DH yet again, as well. I shouldn't have to clean the kitchen every single time I need to START making food. I expect to clean after I'm done, but I shouldn't have to clean just to get started! I'm working around this mess today. I'm more than tired of this crap. She is 15!! Don't give me the crap that she doesn't know (you were sitting right there when I told her the other night). Don't give me the crap that she is just a kid!
^^Yup^^ I put a lock on my
^^Yup^^
I put a lock on my pantry door. If they want any thing they first have to ask and then I know for sure who is making this mess. They will clean it up, I'm no ones maid.
I feel ya! I can't even get
I feel ya! I can't even get my SD (who keep in mind is almost 21 years old still living with us) to rinse out a dang cup! She buys herself all these stupid holiday themed cups, dirties them, and expects me to wash them..oh and she can't even throw them in the sink..they sit on the kitchen table until they get mold on them! Then I tell my DH he's gonna wash them because his lazy ass kid is the one who leaves them there!
DH will never go for locking
DH will never go for locking up the food, because of her having food issues (periods of starvation and periods of bingeing/purging). DH looks at it as at least she is eating something.
Sure enough, I looked in the dishwasher again (as I forgot to look for it before), and there is her knife with crusted peanut butter still on it...will never get clean! Took it out and put it next to the crumbs with another note..."Rinse your knife! Don't lick it!" Yeah...that was her excuse for not taking the time to rinse it one time, "But I licked it clean!"
Bad thing is, I've been battling a mouse. We live in the country, and I recently found evidence in the pantry of a mouse. I normally put my cats up in their own room at night, but for about the last week, they have been left free to roam at night. I had to throw away so much food because it was compromised! Spent a good deal of money last weekend on containers for things like the bread, my energy bars, etc. I also spent a lot of time completely cleaning the pantry of any and all pieces of food that SheSloth let fall behind things (bread, cereal, etc.) and never cleaned up (could not believe the mess I found when I started pulling things like my soup pot and stuff out). In order to make the mouse/mice go away and stop coming into the house (as I'm sure they are coming in from under the house behind the stove), we have to cut off their food supply. Between no food and the cats, they will go away! This worked when they came into the house shortly after we had it built. But if SheSloth keeps leaving crumbs on counters, it completely defeats the purpose!
The field mice are bad this year, because for some reason all the feral cats have disappeared. I'm not sure if someone around here started trapping them and sending them away, thinking they were a nuisance, but now that they are gone, it seems certain problems have returned. I'm afraid the snakes will be next. People can be so stupid! Nuisance? Feral cats are actually good for a neighborhood like ours (out in the country where each lot is 1+ acres). There were a couple of them that lived under our house...left us alone and took care of the mice and snakes. I haven't seen any ferals in months, and it is quite concerning.
"Unless I am saying something
"Unless I am saying something very sweetly to skid, I am being a bitch."
EXACTLY! If I'm not telling skids how f'in wonderful they are, I'm jealous/mean/angry/bitchy/demanding. I can't remember the last time I said something to them that wasn't a lie because no one can handle the truth.
DH needs to deal with this.
DH needs to deal with this. I have similar with SD13. Shes a lazy ass cow, she really is. I do love her but she does nothing for herself, leaves a mess everywhere she goes and i'm just not tidying it up, i do enough for her. I tell BF that he needs to deal with it and if he gives me any excuses I remind him that this isnt my mess, not my kids, i can leave this situation if i want.... and i know he doesnt want that so he eventually has a word. My issue is that she changes her behaviour for all of 10 minutes and its back to sloth land. I dont know how to make it a permanent change. If it was me i would be tough on her - throw away her things til she changes tune, but BF wont go for that.
Stay strong you're not alone
Thank you! Yeah, I was just
Thank you! Yeah, I was just thinking to myself today, if I had any say at all, I would lock down her phone right now. When she complained about it, I would tell her, "Well, seeing as I'm paying for your phone, the new rule is...every day you leave a mess in my space, you lose use of the phone!" Considering these kids can't live without their phones these days, it is possible that may actually get her attention. I mean, is losing phone privs really worth the 30 seconds saved by not using a plate? Really?
But, yeah, DH would never go for that! He wouldn't see it as getting her attention. He would see it as the punishment being too harsh for the crime..."It's only a few crumbs." It's a few crumbs ALL THE TIME! It is completely ignoring what she has been told, because she simply cannot be bothered with walking all the way to the cabinet with the plates or rinsing it and putting it in the dishwasher when she is done!
Ridiculous! How do these men
Ridiculous! How do these men say such things with a straight face?!
What is it with these skids.
What is it with these skids. Mine are the most laziest/dirtiest kids ever. My bio cleans up after herself doesnt have a hissy fit if i ask her to tidy up. She just does it. I no longer clean up their shit SO does because he is too lazy to make them do it... All for a quiet life in his opinion. Shame he is so scared of parenting them
I admit, bios were not
I admit, bios were not perfect when they lived at home...what teenager is? However, they weren't so lazy that they wouldn't use a plate! I mean, come on! And if I did have to remind them to pick up, I usually got a "sorry mom", because they KNEW they were responsible for their own mess and I wasn't their maid. You ask SheSloth to pick up her mess, it is attitude city! Huffing, stomping, slamming...as if she is trying to set a clear message that she does not want to do it any other way but hers! Like how dare we not clean up after her! Don't we realize she is royalty in this house?
And I have the same problem with DH as you have with SO. If SheSloth doesn't pick up her stuff in the TV room, unless he is in a crappy mood about something, he will not inconvenience her with calling her out to pick it up, but will do it himself. If SheSloth leaves dishes, he does them. If she leaves a mess on the counter, he cleans it. I tell him over and over there is no way she will learn if he keeps doing that...that she will continue to expect others to clean up after her! So then we have problems like today. I was at the gym yesterday evening, and DH had to get some work done. Our internet has been down because the provider has been upgrading equipment...so he had to stay at the office to do the work. While I was gone, SheSloth made herself a sandwich. I didn't notice the mess when I got home last night. I was tired and DH wasn't there...so to avoid SheSloth, I came in, tended to the animals, and then straight to my room for the rest of the night. It was this morning, after everyone left the house, that I was in the kitchen making my smoothie when I noticed the mess on the counter! Like I said before, I shouldn't have to clean the kitchen before I can get started making anything. I've always told my bios (and SheSloth has been told as well)...when you leave a room, you should leave no sign that you were even there! Bios got it...SheSloth is too damn lazy!
Lock down her phone already.
Lock down her phone already. She won't change unless you TAKE something from her that she cares about. I thought maybe you could put a stack of paper plates on the counter for everyone to use, but she would still leave crumbs behind. She would probably leave the paper plates in the living room, too.
So, she needs to be on lockdown. For awhile.
~ Moon
She wouldn't use them. Why?
She wouldn't use them. Why? You have to get up to dispose of them, and it also means more trash, which means she will be asked to take it out more often! How do I know she won't use them? She has been told she could even use a paper towel to make her sandwich on. The rolls of paper towels are right there! She didn't even grab one of those! I'm actually shocked she gets a knife, and doesn't just stick her fingers in to scoop the peanut butter! But in case she does, I keep my own jar in a secret spot, because I wouldn't put it against her.
Who buys the food in the
Who buys the food in the house? Seriously, lock your shit up! I'm thinking of doing that myself and its not even this bad.
I don't know what is worse,
I don't know what is worse, the fact that they are lazy sneaky sods or the looks on DHs faces when they think their poor princess are being victimized again.....
I know, right? The thing
I know, right? The thing Saturday night...SheSloth was fumbling with the bread container in the pantry...I tell her to take it out of the pantry over to where she will make her sandwich. She puts the bread on the counter, I tell her to get a plate. Her response (with as much attitude as she could muster), "I was about to!" My response to her was then that she needed to get the plate FIRST or it defeats the purpose if she is still putting the bread directly on the counter! Then, when she comes trotting into the TV room with her sandwich, and I tell her to get back to the kitchen table, DH gives me this look like I'm being a total b***h to her! Really? DH has been there the MULTIPLE times SheSloth has been told to use a plate or a paper towel to make her sandwiches, and to clean up after herself. He was sitting right there the last time SheSloth left her dishes in the TV room for multiple days, and I flat out told her from now on she is to eat at the kitchen table due to not cleaning after herself! None of what I told SheSloth on Saturday night was new!
And just 48 hours later...again, sandwich made with no plate, and crumbs and jelly left on the counter! The sticky notes may not do anything for SheSloth, but my main reason for putting them there with the mess was to point out to DH that she did it yet again!!! I'm the one being victimized here! Victimized by laziness and rudeness...by a person who has no regard for my home and thinks I'm here to clean up after her!
I don't, but DH does. Also,
I don't, but DH does. Also, it is one of these things that she will actually eat. Girl has eating disorders that DH has his head in the sand about! She will go through periods of starving herself, and then periods of bingeing/purging. When she does eat, all she will eat is junk food or sandwiches. Since I'm not buying junk food, I have to get the sandwich stuff or she will not eat at all. DH has tried to make her eat whatever is fixed for dinner, and she takes like 1-2 bites and throws the rest in the trash. He's as tired as I am with her wasting food. Only other option would be for him to stop and buy her fast food every day to make her eat, but that gets expensive really fast.
So, all that is left is sandwiches. Food has to be made available to her that she will eat. Believe me, I've thought about just not buying the sandwich stuff, but then the girl will not eat, and DH will not have that.
I feel the same way! I have
I feel the same way! I have hidden stuff before they come down because they won't eat what I buy them. They will only eat my stuff that I bought for myself! Seriously! Recently had my 18 year old SD come down about a month ago and she spilled red Fanta cherry soda on my carpet! Sat there on her ass and watched me clean it up!
Just texted the whole time while I am scrubbing but her dad did come out and lay into her for being lazy! Then she gets mad! Oh well! Won't see her for awhile again hopefully!
And then when she stomps away when we tell her to turn off just 1 of the 3 lights she has on! Never met another 18 year old that is afraid of the damn dark! So mouthy!
"They will only eat my stuff
"They will only eat my stuff that I bought for myself!"
Luckily, I don't have to worry about that. Being a personal trainer and a stickler for clean eating, my stuff is too healthy for her! Never have to worry about her touching my salad stuff, my oatmeal, etc. Now DH, if he wants certain things, he has to hide it! Chocolate covered almonds, he has learned to hide them. Also, I bought crackers so whenever he wanted soup or chili (since is about the time I make these things), he could have them. The last time I got crackers, SheSloth would eat an entire package in one sitting in front of the TV. This last box is hidden behind the spices. She doesn't go into that cabinet, and I put it on the top shelf behind the big canisters so she couldn't see them even if she did open the cabinet.
There are times I treat myself with gluten-free goodies. Ever since she took a piece of my gluten-free cake and lied about it, I make sure I keep said goodies hidden from her.
When SD19 is home she keeps
When SD19 is home she keeps the overhead light on, the one on her ceiling fan. At first I thought she had fallen asleep, or was too lazy to turn it off.....but NO, she is afraid of the dark. Her room is 10x10. Just stay under the covers and nothing will get you, I say!
~ Moon
Just got off the phone with
Just got off the phone with DH. He is still at work, and I have a client at the gym in 30 minutes. I was sure to tell him about the notes I left for SheSloth, in case she makes them "disappear" before he gets home. Told him I'm tired of the laziness...she was just told about this on Saturday. DH makes the comment that we need to get her to wake up! I was like, "You think?" I did mention to DH that at this point, I ready to start turning off her phone every time she leaves a mess that one of us has to clean up...maybe THAT will wake her up since she holds her phone so near and dear! He said, "Maybe..." Yeah, we will see. He has been warned...so when that phone get shut off, don't come pleading with me! I'm done! She wants to play these games? For every day she leaves a mess, she loses her phone privs. She can consider her phone like allowance...you want your phone privs, you work for them! Doesn't sound too harsh to me!
Make your own demerit system,
Make your own demerit system, lol. Crumbs on counter = 1 night of no phone service. Trash in living room = 3 days of no service, etc. You know what pisses you off the most, so go from there. Or/And have her do chores to EARN back her phone! Just get your ears ready for the whining and crying. I think it's entertainment at this point, so on good days I can giggle to myself. Maybe I'm going insane!
That's my plan, Moon! It's
That's my plan, Moon! It's time for war!
I asked DH if the mess was still there when he got home. Seems she got my notes and cleaned up! It probably pissed her off, but she probably hoped I didn't tell DH and she didn't want to have to sit through one of his talks! She knows how it goes...LOL! As long as it made her clean it up. But she does it again, phone lock time!
Did she really clean up or
Did she really clean up or did DH do it for her.....my DH covers up for EVERYTHING....we had a humungous argument just last night because the Skids 14/15 snuck food upstairs to eat in the bathroom of all places....
NO THEY ARE NOT HUNGRY....JUST SNEAKY AND GREEDY
He is sick of hearing me complain apparently....what do I expect him to do when they have already eaten it....don't I remember when my son was 12 (9 years ago) he was allowed any food he wanted....yada yada yada...
I walked out, came back to a smashed laptop..."he was just soooo angry"
I can't promise that DH did
I can't promise that DH did not clean it up for her. Let's hope he hasn't started lying about stuff to cover for her, because we will have even bigger issues if he has!
PRICELESS!!! I bet you had a
PRICELESS!!! I bet you had a great laugh after you left the house! The wars have begun!
AWESOME!!!
AWESOME!!!
YOU RULE!
YOU RULE!
Now this is a classic moment
Now this is a classic moment in the anals of dealing with a toxic step spawn. Out drama and manipulate the dramatic manipulators.
Bravo!!!!
Well done Sally!
Well done Sally!
Sally you inspired
Sally you inspired me.
Preparing for next battle caused by Skidiot.
Sally, way to go, fight her
Sally, way to go, fight her at her own game AND use the very same weapon. I was howling in my office when I read that you were trying to leave, for fear of laughing in front of Fungus!!! OMG what a riot!!
Skidiot, now Not, THAT has a ring to it!!
~ Moon
Thanks Moon.
Thanks Moon.
DH called SheSloth out to
DH called SheSloth out to watch TV with us. Why? She isn't even interested in what we are watching! She has the sound turned on on her phone and she is sitting over there face down the in it the whole time! Click, click, click is all I here! I want to grab the phone and throw it out the front door! Why couldn't DH leave her hibernating in her room?
Had to check back in on the
Had to check back in on the bread crumb and jelly saga......yes, the clicking drives me crazy on the cell phones, too. SD19 is here tonight with DH. They are downstairs watching sports.
I have earplugs in lol.
No more messes, yet. Yet
No more messes, yet. Yet being the operative word! DH must have had a talk with her.
She is full of attitude tonight. DH is excusing it as she must be tired! Really?
I wonder if SheSloth is TRICK
I wonder if SheSloth is TRICK or treating tomorrow? How late is DH going to have to go out on Halloween night to pick her up?????
Better pack her a PBJ in case it's a late night, lol.......... Crumb-free, of course!
~ Moon
Tomorrow night is the last
Tomorrow night is the last home game, so no trick-or-treating for her! HA! Half way through the show, SheSloth said she had to go to the bathroom, and never came back. This delighted me, but pissed off DH! Of course, he waits until bed time to address it. SheSloth mentions that she would like to go to BM's this weekend because she hasn't gotten to see her with competitions. DH makes it clear that he will NOT drive her after the game tomorrow night, and she better be ready bright and early Saturday to go, because he has his own stuff to do! That is the first I've actually seen him get irritated about having to taxi "Miss Thang" around and set expectations like that. Of course, we will see if it holds up! I mean, SheSloth will get BM involved, and BM will start texting DH every 5 minutes about why can't he bring her "tonight" knowing that she will push him to the point of "fine, I'll do it!" just to shut her up!
Block their numbers this
Block their numbers this weekend. They can call the house phone if there is a true emergency. Then you can unplug that, too.
Ha...no house phone! Haven't
Ha...no house phone! Haven't had a land line in 10 years.
Problem solved!
Problem solved!