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Punishing BM

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

So, since DH came down on SD15 last weekend for running to BM because he said no to braces (because SD15 is wanting them for purely cosmetic reasons) and buying a new wardrobe for school...causing BM to start texting DH cussing him out...SD15 has been ignoring BM's texts and refuses to go to her house. In the mean time, she has been acting super sweet around here...to the point it is sickening! I know it is just an act because she has tried to get some things over the last few days (like the kitten), and when she is told no, she slips back into the old SD15 in like 2.2 seconds! She has also been trying to be super sweet to me, which honestly, makes my skin crawl!

Typical M.O. punishing BM! Guess she is mad at BM for getting her into trouble, and now is trying to be super sweet to turn it around with DH so that maybe she can still manipulate him into getting her way.

I had an interview with another gym here in our town on Monday. When I got home, SD15 was sitting there as I told DH how it went, and the details about my hours. SD15 tries to be all sweet and asks if I'm not going to do my day job any more, and I say I'm doing both. Here is the part you are going to love...first words out of SD15's mouth was (in a super chipper voice), "So, that means there will be more money?" Are you kidding me? Seriously? I quickly said no...that any extra money I was making was going to BS19's going to college! I had to just walk away after that. Princess has another thing coming if she thinks I'm working two jobs to give her more things! Oh hell no! I'm working two jobs to pay off some bills, to start laying the ground work to change careers, and to help BS19 with college because I take care of my children! UGH!

Those new reading this...SD15 lives with us because she was lying, skipping school, sneaking out, smoking pot, and drinking alcohol while at BMs, and BM couldn't handle her and BM's husband wanted the girl out of his house. BM pays no support and in essence has no ground to say how money is to be spent in this house as long as SD15's basic needs are being met, which they are.

Drac0's picture

LOL! Oh my lord. She's such a cutie isn't she?

Reminds me of the time I bought my laptop home from work and set it up on the dining room table. SS comes in, sees the laptop and shouts.

"We got a new laptop!?!?"

DW tells SS no, that it's my laptop that work issued to me. "Awwww...." Was all SS replied.

But I have to wonder how BM's hubby managed to convince BM to let SD come stay with you full time.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

I know in our case, BM's husband didn't give BM a choice! The trouble that SD15 was getting into, he didn't want that kind of trouble around his son, which is his with BM. The kid is only 5, and they already have enough problems with the kid. So basically, BM's husband told BM that SD15 could not live there any more, or he would take his son and leave. Considering that BM has not worked a day in her life since SD15 was born, and has her various issues, she would rather lose the child support and have SD15 move in with us than lose her meal ticket altogether.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Yeah, must be nice to just ship your kid to another house when you can't deal with the monster that you created! Yeah, I get that DH is also responsible for his daughter and the monster she has become, but not to the extent as BM. BM was pulling all the strings! When there was no visitation, it is because BM was road-blocking it because she didn't want to lose her playmate for the weekend or a week in the summer! If BM really valued DH's time with his child, she wouldn't call all the time when SD15 was with us and pull the "I miss you so much" routine until SD15 started bawling her eyes out that she wanted to go home, leaving DH pretty much no choice but to take her home because the child would not stop crying. Oh, believe me, he tried to just say no...that she was staying with him...but she would just cry herself sick and still wouldn't stop.

But when she stopped being a playmate, and started doing whatever the hell she wanted...because BM always allowed her to basically have the run of the house...then it turned into she had to move in with us, or BM loses her meal ticket! Instead of addressing that her daughter had issues, just ship her off to the parent who you road-blocked most of the child's life! Great!

Calypso1977's picture

i decided long ago that fiance and i never discuss anything in front of SD. i dont want her knowing the details of our household decisions, details about my job, anything.

case in point. we were looking to move to a new place and came very close to signing then pulled out at the last minute as it was not the right unit for us. the whole time he was wanting to tell SD all about it! I told him to wait until we actually SIGNED because i really dont want BM knowing our business before our family and friends do. Needless to say after it fell thru i said "arent you glad we didnt tell SD?"

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Thanks all for the well wishes on the interviews! This last one sounds more promising than the others. It is a smaller gym, but it is in our little town, and only about 10 mintues away from the house. This allows me to work a greater range of hours (could actually run in and do early morning training sessions before I start my day job). The other ones didn't pan out because they are looking for full-time trainers, but I'm just not ready to give up the day job yet until I can make at least as much doing the personal training as I am making during my current day job, or I at least pay off enough bills and stuff that I don't have to worry if I don't make as much.

This last interview, they currently only have one trainer on staff, and the hours I can work actually complement his...hours that he says he has had clients ask for, but he has had to turn away. Sounding pretty positive...smaller gym, yeah...but I know most of the people in this down, which helps. The other interviews were down in the city. I also have friends who want to train with me, and they will more likely do so at this gym. They are also really looking for a female trainer, because they have actually had some women come back and cancel their training, because their husbands didn't like them working with a male trainer. I should know in the next couple of weeks if this one pans out...the trainer on staff likes me, and is going to run my resume and his recommendation by the owner. If it all pans out, will be starting the end of August. Smile

But, yeah...sad thing is not being able to ever talk to DH about anything unless SD15 is not around. And I know what some of you are talking about when it comes to shopping for yourselves! I've already gotten to the point that I have to do my shopping online and have stuff sent to a P.O. Box. Why? If I buy anything for myself when SD15 is around, she goes off on how she was told no because it wasn't in the budget. She doesn't get that my money is for me to do what I want...her budget is in DH's income. Because something isn't in his budget, doesn't mean I don't have room for me in my budget! I'm not responsible to her! I work my ass off, and don't feel I should have to answer to a 15-year-old who does nothing but sits on hers!

Orange County Ca's picture

ROFLMAO. I had to laugh at your post awhile ago regarding "cosmetic" braces. Hasn't someone marketed fake ones you can buy at the drug store yet? One size fits all and just slide them on and off as needed.

Listen tell her you've purchased her a pair of the latest braces and give her a empty box. When she gives you an astonished look tell her its the "invisible kind" that are fitted to the back of ones teeth. Yes they do exist.

Reminds me of my step-daughters (about 20 something) birthday when I gave her a hand made card (pre-computer days) saying "In celebration of your 2Xst birthday we've booked a cruise for two to the Caribbean". Her eyes lit up with excitement "Oh Wow".

When she opened up the inside read "We'll call when we get back".

I really should not have done that.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

SD15 was just throwing away a bag of clothes from her room. She claimed it was full of ants. Here it comes...she's going to try to say she has no clothes now because of ants, and so we are going to have to buy her all new clothes. Will be interesting to see how this plays out. Funny, we haven't had ants anywhere else in the house...not near our dirty clothes hamper, or in the kitchen. BS19 was going through a bunch of his old clothes yesterday...no ants there, either.

Of course, ants was one of the reasons she has been given many times as to why she needs to keep her clothing picked up! I'm waiting for her to try to do laundry...bwahahaha! She hasn't washed in about a month this current stint (did a small load about a month ago). I used the last of the soap on Monday, and do not plan on buying any more until my regular store visit on Saturday, because, well, I don't need soap until Monday again. Wink

Update: Ha! Just as I suspected! SD15 suddenly decided she wanted to do laundry! The look on her face was priceless when I told her I wasn't going to the store for only laundry soap, but that it was on the list for my next trip. Bwahahaha!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Guess SD15 is still trying to punish BM, as she has no interest in going for a visit this weekend. UGH! That is yet another weekend with SD15 around. Can't I catch a break at all?