SM's got a brand new attitude
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So I woke up this morning with a feeling that I'm not sure is good or bad or just indifferent. It's like overnight I lost any worries I had or have in regards to sd15 and her decisions on how she lives her life or her future. I did not think about her today unless dh brought her up. I haven't felt the need to monitor her social media posts. I think this is what it feels to give up completely on someone. Like I've gone thru the stages of grief and now I've accepted the loss. I hope this continues cuz I have a sense of peace that has eluded me for the past several years.
Why should you care anyway? I
Why should you care anyway? I mean seriously? She isn't your kid.... You haven't raised Her and its on your DH's head if the wheels fall off!
That's how I cope when trying to deal with my emotional fall out over what SS16 does or should I say, dosent do... I seriously have disengaged. It works for me BUT I do cringe when he is near me! That I can't help. We have SS16 24/7 365 days a year.. BM put a restraining order on her own son... Conveniently for her as her BF hates SS16. Sigh
I do cringe when dh talks
I do cringe when dh talks about her or the thought of coming this weekend for a visit but my thoughts are not consumed by her. I can say I really don't think about her. It's a relief to go hours and realize I haven't had one thought about her.
It is a huge relief when you
It is a huge relief when you can finally get to the point of not caring. I can say it has helped save my sanity and marriage. Luckily DH has stopped pushing the SS's on my and Me on them. I think it took some time for him to realize that we were not going to be the perfect little family he imagined. And it took him seeing BM and all her antics to understand it was NOT ME that was preventing it. After several long talks about why I have removed myself from the drama, he gets it. He now understands I would handle things totally different and not be so accmodating to someone so nasty.
It has helped my sanity level and helped us to concentrate on US and our marriage vs being one big family.
Congrats and understand you may at times get sucked back in...but it won't take long for you to pull back again and understand what is best for you!
amen... It took one huge
amen...
It took one huge raving fight with DH and I and it was like a literal a-ha moment. I may actually have said, "A-Ha..." I told DH i'd support whatever his decisions were, but that I had no input moving forward. EVER. She has a father and a mother and they are in charge of how she grows up. (I struggle though since BM does stupid shit, which manipulates SD, who in turn manipulates DH...)
Typically, my only thought of this kid is when DH brings up something. Like some others, he has more or less stopped pushing us together like some big happy family, and we sort of live two lives. He tends to see her by himself, but I will tag along sometimes because it makes him happy. I treat her like a polite stranger. I have no visibility to any of her social media, nor do I care, and BM is blocked on ALL platforms. She doesn't even have my phone number.
It came down to perspective. DH and I have completely different perspectives on this skid. He rug sweeps and blames all of it on BM. I call bullshit since she is 15. So, moving forward - your kid - your problem.
I also refuse to bow to BM and her crazy. It used to make me nuts, the hoops his family jumped through. Now?? meh- I do my thing, they can jump as they wish, I stick to my plans.
Sometimes though, I still get super annoyed.
I just keep my mouth shut
I just keep my mouth shut when he vents to me and look at her/their drama as entertainment. A reality show. "Boy, glad I don't have to deal with that." Or "Silly people and their silly problems."