dear bm/sk
Just so you know:
Your kid rarely speaks to me
Will not respond to my text
Does nothing or little of nothing to participate in the family DH and I created the day we got married.
I respect my DH. I love him 99% of the time. It is because of this love that I do what needs to be done to aid his relationship with his children. Which includes but limited to:
Pick up/drop off for visitation
Taxi service for activities
Doing without to provide something for.
If you had raised your children to respect their parents
They would
Respect me because I am DHs wife
Respect DHs limited parenting time
Understand that homes are different and people are different accept the difference as life and not fight it.
Understand that family is what is important, not an individual component.
In the meantime know whatever I choose to do is because it benefits MY dh......has nothing to do with anyone else.
- 12yrstepmonster's blog
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Comments
I agree with you so much! It
I agree with you so much! It makes it hard on you bc the BM and kids don't see it that way. In their eyes, we as step-parents are there only to do what they want and need.
Here's my take on it:
If it's ok for me to feed, cloth, educated, transport and all around provide for YOUR child; then it's more than ok for me to have say in what they do, who they do it with and "semi" discpline them when they are in MY home!
I told BM if she does not like another woman having say and rearing her children, then she should not have screwed around and left them and their BF!
Somewhat funny. Very
Somewhat funny. Very frustrating quite annoying and will be glad should karma visit- Ooops it has
Stepaside, that is funny and
Stepaside, that is funny and sad and probably true in so many cases.
OP, my heart goes out to you and all the SMs that have bad BM's to deal with. I am realizing how in many ways I would have been a bad BM as well, had my DD's dad not gone crazy and had a new wife etc. It would have been hard for me and I really hope that the best interest of my child would have trumped all the other insecurities and hurt feelings.
This is how our BM, would answer those, pretty sure of it:
I am sorry she does not speak to you and does not show you respect. She is a difficult child, I know all about it. I have tried and continue to try and would appreciate any help or ideas on your part. It hasn't been easy for SD to go between homes; our homes are so different...I appreciate how much you do for her. Sometimes I am sad that you get to do so much fun stuff with her, because I am older and not well, and I wish I could be there for her like that, but I am glad she gets to do that even if it's not me.
Then she would probably go over the top and suggest we get together all the time the two families etc, etc.
I wish more moms could get past their hurt and anger and actually help their kids deal with this.
Been a stepkid my entire
Been a stepkid my entire life. I didn't like my stepmom. I never backtalked. Was grounded once a month for a week- leaving shoes on my floor, school books on my bed, helping my brother with their chores.....etc. etc. etc. She lasted 8ys. Afar was hands off and grouchy. Not a kid person, total workaholic and one helluva grandad.
It was not my option to disrespect, it was not my option to say no. I was a child-care living in a my PARENTS home not mine, with their rules not mine.
I treated my step parents nicely because I oh.......get this one.....FEARED dissappointing my parents.
I've been bounced between two homes since I was 7. You adjust if you aren't guilt parented.
Been a stepkid my entire
Been a stepkid my entire life. I didn't like my stepmom. I never backtalked. Was grounded once a month for a week- leaving shoes on my floor, school books on my bed, helping my brother with their chores.....etc. etc. etc. She lasted 8ys. Afar was hands off and grouchy. Not a kid person, total workaholic and one helluva grandad.
It was not my option to disrespect, it was not my option to say no. I was a child-care living in a my PARENTS home not mine, with their rules not mine.
H
I treated my step parents nicely because I oh.......get this one.....FEARED dissappointing my parents.
I've been bounced between two homes since I was 7. You adjust if you aren't guilt parented.