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wedding rings

12yrstepmonster's picture

I have now been married for 13.5 years. In Jan 2012 I over heard a conversation that shattered my heart. My husband was having an emotional affair. The weekend I heard his conversation we began talking of divorce. I took my rings off. In a week I was setting up my new life, trying to figure out how to end my old life when he asked that we go to counseling again. He lied in counseling, and I found out months later.

After learning that he lied, I had to make some hard decisions. We have a 12 year old together, a mortgage, horses that my daughters love and my oldest trained and showed. I chose to stay- for many reasons, money being one of them, in addition to a growing career, and a failing mother. In essence I needed him to provide security to our daughter, and to be a parent and help cover her needs.

He's mentioned several times that I don't wear my rings. At first I said I had to evaluate my commitment. There are still days that I can't see us growing old together. There are other times where I can't imagine life without him in it. The rings though represent a relationship that doesn't exist anymore.

Does anyone not wear their wedding rings?

Comments

12yrstepmonster's picture

I habe one of those two.....just hoping not to have a collection of them! Rofl

cant win for losin's picture

What the wedding/engagement ring represents to me as a symbol of the relationship, I went many many many months not wearing mine. (engagement) fdh can be so smart and so dumb at the same time. (smh) he knew why I wouldn't wear it, and after a handful of times of mentioning me not wearing it at the beginning, stopped asking.

We were suppose to be engaged. Starting a life TOGETHER! This relationship was anything but! I only recently started wearing it. A little part of me still feels funny about wearing it. Even though I feel a little more "secure" about this relationship, I know I still have issues about it. Were working on it. And for almost two months now he really has been trying to show me.

time will tell.

buckeye mommy's picture

I don't. Neither of us does really. For me, I'm allergic/sensitive to the nickel in gold alloys and we don't have the money right now to buy one that won't bother me as much. When we got the rings I didn't think it would be an issue.He doesn't always wear his cause he works in a factory and if an accident would happen I don't want him losing a finger or something.

Anyway, I understand what you mean by the rings representing the relationship. And, if you feel that strongly about it, don't let him feel guilty about it.

Lalena75's picture

I took mine off after my ex's first affair (that I knew of) with a promise I would get new ones to replace the "tarnished", that never came along with his inability to be faithful and honest.

Halo_Horns's picture

I wear mine because I am paying for it otherwise I prob wouldnt wear it. Dh sold his when he relapsed on crack (nice huh!).

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

I take it off when I'm very upset with him and am being unsure as to whether we should be together or not. Otherwise I can't sleep. I'm sorry for what you are going through but I think talking to your DH and being honest would help. Good luck!

BSgoinon's picture

I gave my first set back to my ex after the first time I caught him cheating. After we attended a few months of counseling, he tried to get me to wear them again. I told him they represented a LIE, and I wouldn't do it. I went about a year without wearing them. So he bought me new ones.

The second set was pawned and DH and I went to Disneyland with them money, didn't NEED to pawn them for the money to go... just thought it was funny.