It would be really nice to be one big happy family but that just simply is not possible. SD has too many negative critisisms and opinions for us to really ever get along. As long as I feel dissected on a regular basis I will not participate in the game.
This Is my life to live and I do not wish to be subjected to the stress I have been in the past 3 years or more.
She is a grown woman with a husband and children, a mom and DAD and plenty of friends and family, she does NOT need me, nor does she really want me. This has been made very clear to me time and time again, and I kept trying to be “nice” and please everyone for the family. Nothing will ever be good enough, so I give up.
I also feel like I come in 2nd place in DH’s life since her wishes and wants ALWAYS take priority. He could never say NO to her or reprimand her when she bad-mouths me. This is a situation I DID NOT EVER FORESEE as DH and I were always number 1 to each other. I KNOW I am number 2 and no words from DH can convince me I am wrong. It is the actions that show me where I stand. It is unhealthy and unnatural for a couple together for 20 years are being pulled apart by an ADULT child. The only one who could change this is DH and he obviously wil not do it for his own reasons. I am trying to salvage some happiness in my life now and live a separate life from SD. I love the grandkids but this situation is too absurd and unhealthy for me.
I know sweeping everything under the rug used to work for us but I can no longer do that as the stress is becoming more frequent and more intense. My health is more important and I cannot subject myself to unnecessary stress any longer. It hurts and I just don’t think I can ride the emotional roller coaster anymore. If I try to down play the troubles caused then the least this is then is a HIGH MAINTENANCE relationship – this relationship with SD is just too hard - there is no pleasing her and the baggage she is carrying around about the past is just way too overwhelming for me to deal with at this stage in our lives. She is grown up for petes sake!!! She has a lovely home and family – LET IT GOOOOOOO!