My future DH is a wonderful man. That is why, despite warnings from my single friends, I made the leap and pursued a relationship with someone with two children and a, shall we say-emotionally and cognitively challenged, ex-wife (the BM). I call her C U Next Tuesday (you figure it out ). All was well and good as I slowly developed a relationship with the soon to be SD(7) and SS(9).

My future DH and I moved in together a year ago (July 2008) with the understanding that the children would be with us EOW and two evenings a week. After numerous arguements over the fact that my future DH was paying WWAAYYYY too much over the agreed upon amount of child support (given the fact that the kids are with us alot, he paid for childcare, and paid for any extra-curricular activities on top of the support; I think I was rightfully peaved about the inequity of the distribution of wealth)we began attempting to save for OUR wedding.

Spring forward to December 2008 as I look forward to two weeks off from my rewarding yet stressful job. I get a call from my future DH, at least I THINK it was him. As I decoded words through hyperventilating and tears, I realized he was on his way home with SS(9) who I was told would be living FULLTIME with us and his sister (SD7) would be joining him after she was done with school. And by the way, could I watch them as they will be on vacation (winter break) and no arrangements had been made for childcare prior to this point. WTF??? Apparently BM (aka CUNextTuesday) and SS had a blowout and SS decided he was done with her. I don't blame the kid. His BM is an emotional and mental midget. I knew it was a real possiblity that my future DH would get full custody however, I thought it would be after school was over in the summer(like right now). It just happened that the inevitable happened six months too soon for my liking.

So that brings us up to speed minus a few more incidents over money (he continued to pay child support for three months AFTER they came here full time (again I ask, WTF???), issues with the children and school, and a minor nervous breakdown (on my part). Hey, whatever doesn't kill us, makes us stronger, right?

I know the children are better off and I have seen a huge improvement in their behavior, grades, and relationship with their BM, aka CUNextTuesday. I have no doubt about the love I feel for my future DH but I question whether or not I took on too much too soon. I have a good relationship with my SKids (despite being the drill sergeant) and I know they love me. I'm not sure if I love them -yet. I kind of resent them and my future DH right now. I've only known these people (SKids) for a year and have given up a huge chunk of my life to care for them. I know it's not their fault but my evil twin occasionally gets her panties in a snit

So, needless to say, the last six months have been a rollercoaster. Just when I think I've got a grip, I lose it. I'm hoping to use this site as my safety net for those moments. So thanks, in advance, for your support, humor, advice, and encouragement.