After a summer of disengagement with a few bumps in the road but mostly success I'm finding it really hard to step back now that school is starting. I am usually the one who takes my stepdaughter (she's 12) to get her school supplies and back to school clothes. Apparently the ex told my husband to get the school supplies since her parents are buying new clothes. My husband is traveling for work this week and its taking all my self control not to get involved. We have time to get her stuff before the first week of school when my husband is back but still its hard for me to not step in.

Also I slipped up and checked my husbands email and my stepdaughter's phone. Lots of texting between her and her mom but nothing bad. Less "I miss you' kind of thing then there was this spring when I decided to step back and nothing about me. My husband had only a handful of email between him and his ex all summer. He told me that but I feel better now that I know for sure. Now that I know that things are the way I think they are I dont think I'll feel the need to snoop with either of them anymore. It made me relieved but also made me kind of sick you know what I mean?

The main thing is that I need to get the ex out of my head and honestly its so much better then it used to be. That last Facebook post our mutual 'friend" shared with me was the last straw. I had a blog post about it it was really ugly. She is a mean person and I don't need to waste my time worrying about her or what she thinks. I'm venting hoping i'll get this last bit out of my system but i also know it's a process. The good news is that my husband and my stepdaughter and me are all getting along great its relaxed and easy at home, we do our own thing and we do stuff together too. My stepdaughter asked if we could get our nails done together last week and we had fun. So hopefully this is encouraging for other people who are disengaging its not easy! it takes time but i'm just taking it one day at a time and I know that even things get easier i'll have hard days.