O/T how to keep the flame burning in your relationship

It's normal for people to feel disconnected, in original families and in blended families, I think even more so in blended families, cause one partner would like to do something and then oh NO... BM surprised us and dropped off the skids...

Yeah in blended life you can not arrange a quick surprise date... you will end up being disappointed.... cause some how, skids and BM smells it and troughs a spanner into the works.

How do you keep the flame burning in your marriage/relationship... skids set aside..

I make sure I spoil SO allot, if we are alone of course which is very difficult with Aergia living with him and no one ever knows if she will be at home or on street. I gave up keeping the spoils to times she's not there, I realized she gets real pissy when I give SO a full pedi and foot message and she's around, she will storm to her room crying, jealous much? }:)

Food wise I know what the man likes, and if we are alone, usually week-ends I spoil him with his favorites, I took MIL under cross fire about what sweets did he like as a child, now we all know that certain sweets are not on market again,
I got old recipes and I made it... or at least tried to lol... or I will buy his fav chocolate and hide it in his car...
on his way to work I will simply text him check in the glove compartment....

I keep on bringing up old dreams we had from day one.... silly stupid dreams hahahahaha but it takes SO back to good times, when he did not have to worry about Aergia and her tantrums....

I never speak the unspeakable topic his brat - I mean daughter, I pretend she's not there......

I pretend it's only me and SO in the house, and it works, cause if I do not have to stress about the brat, I'm friendly and carefree and thus SO can relax... I pretended so hard past week-end that we left Saturday morning early and returned Sunday only... with no phones.... SO locked the house and Aergia has no key... she was forced to stay with BM for the whole week-end ... she was not happy yesterday but we could not stop laughing and having fun....
SO even told her, life is just grat if you do not have to wipe your kids nose all the time.... one more year to go and I can start living.. :jawdrop:

Acratopotes's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

mark this and remember this -

mark this and remember this - you will reach the 10 year runt....

believe me things changes.... we get used to each other and then the flame goes out slowly

This is all good to remember.

This is all good to remember. I think is helps us that we have 'ours' puppies now. They are the ours children. They are a handful. But we work on training them together. We are good with having some common interests like art and photography.

I never talk of his kids. I have had to ask him to stop brining them up to me, usually to the effect of ruining a mood or event for me.

When we married we did not even know if he had much time to live as he had been very ill. No one knows what time they have left of course. Human relationships are too complicated. We waste so much time. Must learn to live in the moment like the pups.

So glad you are back on here Acra. Missed your quick wit and advice when you were gone a short spell.