SD's smart mouth
I love my SD. I truly, truly do. She is attached to me, looks up to me and is a snuggly, adorable little thing. That being said, she also has a smart-ass mouth and after a few days it starts to exhaust me. After awhile I get sick of regurgitating "ask daddy" or "I don't know honey but you have 4 people who love you sooo much" ... and I just feel like being real with the kid.
She asked me in the car yesterday why I am not with mom's boyfriend (he also has no bio kids) and why her parents don't just be together because it makes no sense. I laughed out loud and then told her she has a point, it probably would make more sense. Then she said mommy and daddy got a divorce. I told her "no honey, daddy never married your mom." And lastly, she told me her mom likes everyone but hates dad and I spun around and looked at her and said "Mommy must have liked daddy at some point to have TWO kids with him, right?????" I feel bad kind of but it shut her up. I am sure BM will get an earful.
SS also does it, too. He saw 2 people kissing in a movie on TV and I said that the actor looked like Dad (uncanny resemblance.) SS says "and [the actress he was kissing] looks like mom!" WTF?
I just get sick of the kids commenting about mommy and daddy being together. They split when the kids were babies, I have been raising those 2 with their dad for several years. I know it is totally natural for them to ask and wonder! But it hurts and it sucks and sometimes I feel like being a petty bitch about it instead of taking the high road. Maybe I am a bad person.
Anyone else?
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I take her to a kids library
I take her to a kids library group an hour on the weekends while DH does something with SS (he is exhibiting a lot of troublesome behavior especially to his sister, angry outbursts, etc so we separate the skids for awhile each week).
I did bring it up to DH and he sat her down. She told him BM tells her to "stop talking about that" when she asks. He told her "mom and dad were together when you were very little but we fought too much. It is over now and I am with AJ and mom is with stepdad."
I feel like BM brushes that kid off so much that she comes running to me for truth. A few years back BM dumped her boyfriend who SD was extremely close with (called the guy dad), and told SD the guy "moved to Florida" and then refused to entertain a conversation about it again ... he still lives a mile down the street. Whenever SD hears about Disney or Florida she shouts "thats where ___ lives!!!!" ... It's pathetic.
I do spend entirely too much time around these kids. I start to pull back and then I fall right back into it without even realizing it.
Lol "Parade of dicks."
Lol "Parade of dicks." Exactly.
It is more pathetic on her mom's part, for sure. I just get so mentally exhausted by it being brought up all the time. It hurts me for some reason... makes me feel insignificant, which is very immature and negative thinking. Maybe I should just try to dad her stepdad.... just kidding
Thank you. Sometimes I react
Thank you. Sometimes I react so quickly (due to irritation) and then I feel guilty for being "too honest." I don't really know what I am doing sometimes but I do try. It was so nice when they were really small and didn't ask. I have to grow a thicker skin because they are only getting older and these issues will not go away...
Kids are just plain confused.
Kids are just plain confused. When my niece was about 5 she asked me why I have two husbands. Certainly I never had two husbands. When I asked what she means she said "Dds dad and M". I was divorced from DDs dad many years before my niece was even born but my DD would talk About her dad in Front of her. And M and I were dating at the moment and we didn't even live together and he attended some events. She stopped those kind of questions as she got older. I think it's normal
The idea of them getting
The idea of them getting older scares the crap out of me. I feel like the more they "understand" the more resentment it breeds. The confusion is annoying but sort of cute.