I am back to the office after a weekend that was somewhat refreshing. DH finally is asserting himself and making it clear that our freeloader house guests need to be on their merry way by May 7th. We had the skids all weekend and I (stupidly) took SD with me to the mall Saturday. There was a sale at one of her favorite little kid stores, buy 3 get 3 free, well let me tell you, that was a fucking nightmare. She wanted to buy her mother gifts. I said she could pick one thing for her but she wanted all 6 to be for her. We finally settled on 2 items for mom. Although they were technically free, it still made me ill. I can picture the bitch setting her gifts on fire because I was with SD when she bought them. What a waste. Never again, truly.

The skids argued, bitched and complained basically the whole weekend, every little thing is an argument. SS sits on the couch and watches profane youtube videos (future delinquent, not my kid, oh well) while SD screams for attention "Jane watch me do this, watch me do that, what's my favorite number, what's my 4th favorite color, take me outside, I won't ever come back if you don't watch me do 5 cartwheels, why is the sky fucking blue?" etc etc etc. Neediest kid that ever existed. Cute as a button though... her redeeming quality.

Yesterday when I felt ready to do a cartwheel right off a cliff, I handed the reins to DH, packed a blanket, some lemonade, vodka and chips into my car and drove to a park, where I sat my ass in the sun for 3 hours in beautiful, blissful skid free silence. I caught a nice buzz, got a tan and didn't leave until I knew the skids were back home with BM.

I am also finally off of prednisone, which was causing me to have fits of rage worse than normal. That stuff is evil. So, all in all, I feel somewhat more positive today, albeit still tired.

All of the kind people on here who remind me to take time for myself -- I appreciate you. I felt a little bit of initial guilt at taking off on DH but I quickly realized I shouldn't give a shit and I thought of you here on StepTalk who would be encouraging for me to take time for myself. I have been through enough lately.

If this is how overwhelmed I feel with skids, how the hell will I ever have my own? I really do hope that biological love makes it somehow less annoying.

Anyway, have a good week, all.