So I don't know why some things surprise me. Christmas presents were bought primarily by me, I shopped and hunted for stuff for everyone, extended family, both my BS's,DD, DH, OSS...I didn't get much for YSS because DH had already gotten a ton of stuff for him. He did get a couple things for YBS too, but that was the extent of his shopping participation. Nothing and no thoughts for OBS, OSS or DD. So, now we are coming up on DD's birthday, by some miracle we both are off that day so we are planning on a birthday party with the family (grandparents and kids). So DH is excited that it will be on YSS's weekend. I asked -so have you invited OSS yet? He looks at me like I just suggested something weird and said no. I don't understand it. I LOVE OSS like my own child and miss him when we go a while without hearing from him or seeing him and try to make it to events when possible to show support (participates in many activities). SS7 poops gold and smiles rainbows in DH's eyes and he's constantly trying to make sure HE doesn't feel left out, to the point of postponing things just so he can be involved. I am confused and don't know what my role is in this. I feel as if I'm trying to balance many of the children myself, especially OBS and OSS, with intermittent help with YBS and DD (yes, the same amount I give with ss7). I don't want to give up on OSS but it feels very much like DH is giving me all the responsibility. I just want a balance. Probably way too much to ask.