I have to say I am lucky in that there really was no "we" for DH and BM. BM1 and he never went on so much as a date to Burger King.. she was just a badge bunny that he was dumb enough to entertain every now and then. Nothing but BAD memories there for him. BM2 and DH dated on and off and on and off for a few years and were together MAYBE 6 months after SS was born.. so no mushy memories their either. DH freely admits that he did not want either skid. He actually demanded a paternity test for SD15.

I don't understand having nostalgic memories about ex anyway though. I mean I was married to my ExH for almost 10 years. I'm sure we MUST have had some good times, trips, etc and obviously when I FORCE myself to come up with something I can think of some good times we had.. but trust me I must FORCE myself. Not like I have all of these "wonderful" memories popping up in my head of time with my Ex. Sounds like your BM has unfinished emotional business. Yuck!

I don't stay in touch with any ex bf's either. The most recent ex before I married my husband would occasionally message me on Facebook (he isn't on my friends list) to try to chat. I told him everytime that I had no interest in having a friendship with him. We weren't friends before we started dating, why would I be your friend after? He has let me know that the door is always open and I kindly say goodbye. The one time I did talk to him was when his uncle commited suicide. I had a close friend who had done that several years earlier, so I was okay with helping him by answering his questions about how I felt when it happened. As for the bm trying to bring up "us" moments, my husband's ex gf did that once "remember when SD was teething" and my husbands eyes just glazed over and he said "sorry did you say something?", lol. She never mentioned any "memories" infront of him again, but she would occasionally try to mention them to me when DH was working and I did the pick up or drop off. I always just laughed to myself because DH couldn't stand her for 90% of their "relationship". The only reason he even stayed with her was because she got pregnant 2 months into them dating.

BM does this kind of stuff too. I can't decide whether she's THAT dumb, or if she's trying to make me mad. But really, why would I care about your relationship that ended almost 8 years ago and was only ever on/off for 2 years? I felt/feel bad for her ExH/Current H when she said/says these things. So disrespectful toward them!

BM was so abusive during their relationship that DH put up some pretty strict boundaries right when I came into the picture. So, if she DID do stuff like that, I didn't have to hear it.

She did try to get him to come into her house every time we picked the skids up, though, until we started using the neutral location service.

Ugh, my Ex does this...

BM doesn't try to bring up the past with DH, she is still LIVING in the past with all of his friends from him past, that never grew up.

My husband and BM have no good memories to reminisce about, it was a relationship of convenience.

I guess she could say, "Remember when I tried to get you to swap partners with that other couple and I got mad because you refused?" Yeah, good times.

I posted on the similar blog, but my ex husband and I get along well and he and DH are friendly. I'm sure the term "we" has been thrown around a lot but only because we still view each other as partners in parenting. It's also hard for us because we started dating in high school. A lot of our memories from growing up were together so if I talk about something fun in the past or a family function way back when then chances are my ex is in the story. I think the difference is that we don't reminisce together about old "happy" times together. He just got a gf and I can't imagine ever saying "Remember the time we..." I'm sure that would be counter productive in welcoming her into our already odd ex relationship. It would probably make her feel like an outsider and wouldn't help her create a home with my kids as well. Obviously our relationship is not the norm but it works well all of us involved.

BM doesn't do this with DH, she does this with the skids. Walks down memory lane, probably takes out the old photo albums, etc to reminisce about when the skids were babies or little. None of these stories that we hear from the skids are even in a timeframe they would remember. When the skids start this stuff DH always tells them that they were too young to remember and then asks if they were looking through the old albums with BM....well, yes. Those aren't their memories, they are usually very embellished stories from BM. Like where she is super mom and she isn't in the picture because she took it. DH always tell them that BM wasn't even home when the picture was taken as she was at "work" (more like cheating with a series of men with whom she worked with). Skids never believe DH, they always believe BM's stories,

I could go on for days on this topic. But... I will share this one story for those who didn't hear it the first time.

Last year when SO and I moved in together and we were all playing nice-nice with BM, she came over for one of the kid's birthday dinners. She proceeded to start COOKING in my kitchen and follow-ed that up by telling a story about some trip they went on when they were married. That was the last joint party.

That's probably a classic borderline BM move to stay in touch with her man's ex-gfs. I can't really explain it. They can't help themselves, especially when they are the controlling types and might be able to use their connections of FB to stir up any drama.

I don't stay in touch with anybody. Either they deleted me, or I deleted them, as well as their friends and family. I hate facebook anyway. I don't post status messages occasionally I check out what my sister or aunt are doing. I hate people knowing my personal life.