You are here

She's still at it! I'm afraid CPS is going to come get me on false allegations!!!

Annanymous's picture

She has been telling people that I ABUSE HER! I supposedly VERBALLY ABUSE HER! OMFG She is taking things and either extremely exaggerating them and twisting them or actually making stuff up. She is telling her therapist these crazily convoluted things. Example from 4/23/13, I said I was angry that she got the neighbor to buy her eyeliner when she had FIVE already and I had said no. So she texts him this long "don't ever buy me anything ever again stepmom says I don't deserve for anyone to ever buy me anything and if I ask you please please please say no she will push me and scream in my face again if you do!". W T F OMFG OMFG!!!!

I knew she was sick in the head, but jesus. Can this girl, who TOLD me she would "payback me" if I piss her off... can this girl get my babies taken away to CPS if she makes false allegations? I knew she was trashing me and making up things last year, but I am only now realizing how bad it was and STILL IS!

I love my husband so much and he is trying so hard. I'm in a high risk pregnancy and my unborn son has spina bifida and stepdaughter14 throws fits and stresses me out and I have a 14 month old. I can't help but cry right now. She has already made false allegations of sexual assault against someone and I see she has been claiming "verbal abuse by stepmom" still to this day when she doesn't get her way or gets mad.

This stress is obviously not good for my pregnancy, but remember, I told this girl in later 2012 during my previous pregnancy I couldn't get stressed so she purposefully "got" me then said "Gosh, I hope your baby doesn't die, you know, aha, like the last two died" (referring to my miscarriages).

Four years. I am done. I have no love left for this girl. I don't even like her a tiny bit any more. If she moved out and never came back, I would be relieved. I did love her once. I cannot take the borderline bullshit any more. I can't stand being in the same room with her. I want to set up monitoring cameras in the living room to protect myself.

I will never talk to her about anything other than polite pleasantries ever again. I pray to God she runs away and goes to live with her mother (who has not visited in three years and just started contact again).

I don't care if this makes me a monster. I can't take any more false allegations about me, oh but not severe enough YET to call CPS.

If I get a FAKE CPS call on me, I will leave my husband with my two babies and live out of state until his daughter is 18. I won't have any choice. I will not risk it.

I will never call her down again. If she's being hateful, I will NOT talk to her about it, I will completely ignore it and leave or send her to her room. OMFG what is it going to be like when she is 16-17??

Comments

Annanymous's picture

I will start doing this. We wil have no more conflict because I disengaged today but I will document or video everything from now on.

Annanymous's picture

I have no one. Only in-laws. She lies so well its scary. She down plays what she says or does then eexaggerates or flat out .Ames up what she tells people that I said abusive things.

I cant put her in foster care, they wouldn't take her or expect thousands a month child support (yes for this I know I was a caseworker). I hope she stays with her mom now they started contact...you know after her mom "abused her" via Skype the day my son was born. Coincidentally??? I doubt her mother did anything.

I hope she goes spring break overnight then I pray she goes a while this summer. Oh man I wish she would but she has it so good here she refuses to go.

Annanymous's picture

Unfortunately I have to be home with her she's home at 4 and dh at 6:45. Then weekends I am woth her alone all day he works every other weekend.

I'm seriously thinking about surveillance cameras and not telling her. maybe video recording on my phone and doing every 30 min while she's in room with me and saving all on computer.

I may ha e been irritated sometimes, but I never abused her in any way!

Oh and she cries to in-laws and they believe her now too! She laid on couch "asleep" while they were over and I said "honey please get up and act right tonight". I hear her say ' sob I can't nap or do anything or sm says I have to act right. 'FILED says poor baby just sleepy needs a nap. She wasn't sleeping she was faking for attention! Ffs.

I will never forgive her. I have no friends because when I tried to befbefriend a cousin sd14 told cousin I lock her in her room with no light for all her life and abuse her. Omfg. 8***( I know I posted that before but I cant let go of it.

Annanymous's picture

This is what I am doing from now on. 100%. Disengaging. It is hard after parenting so long but I am trying. I am biting my tongue and let her dress like a whore or steal or whatever BS she does.

85% of what she says is a lie. Scary.

misSTEP's picture

Nanny cams are a must. Take phone video of her if she starts freaking out badly. You don't even have to be sneaky with it. I am sure if she sees it, she will REALLY freak out!

You said your DH is trying hard. What exactly is he doing to protect his pregnant wife from his bitch of a daughter? Anything??

Your DH needs to figure out somewhere else for her to be between school and when HE gets home especially on the weekends. Otherwise, he is making YOU endure way too much stress that you might be falsely accused of abuse and get your OWN kids taken away!

Eventually, she will become more brazen in her lies. But she's also a kid so hopefully that means she will become more STUPID in her lies and get busted.

Your DH needs to be stern and strict with her and make her see a therapist that is NOT one that will allow her to blame everything on her big, bad, evil SM.

Why in the HELL would your DH's parents think that their son would stay married to a woman who abused his child in such a way?? I would flat out ASK all of them when they are all together. Your DH included. No pre-warning. Just pop it out there. Maybe also mention that poor widdle SD had no IDEA how a REAL mother parents their child....since the poor speshul snowfwake's REAL mom isn't taking care of her. So, she thinks that since she isn't getting away with doing EVERYTHING she wants, she thinks you are abusive.

Annanymous's picture

I also was a social worker. If I get investigated it would be on record if I ever tried to go back to work with DCFS when my babies start school. She could destroy my potential future work ability and risk my babies being taken to foster care for investigation.

Inlaws are an hour away. I'm literally alone. My grandma is three hour away and she says "sd14 is scared of getting in car with you because you scream at her all the time poor baby feels unwanted ow that you have ds1.I feel so sorry for SD14 being mistreated and unloved by you I think yoh should be nicer to her". Wtf YES SHE SAID THAT... Until I told grandmother MY granny what SD14 said about HER! LMAO Granny was all omg what I never said those things to your sd14! Haha eat it granny cause sd14 says you DID aww poor sd14 mean Stepgreatgrandmother say such mean things to her awwww. Hashanah suck on that a minute then tell me you pity her for how I mistreated her.

I made another friend and sd14 ruined that too. It was sd14 friend's guardian. Oh well.

Annanymous's picture

She has been saying i verbally abuse her to people and they dont tell me so to protect her from me see? Until she does something I have nothing to go on but she has two years of reporting "verbal abuse" to use against me.

Weekly therapy $120 a month. a lot of days she LURVS me and wants to lay on my lap and play card games with me. Seriously! Then I find her email or text or notebook saying she is "broken and cutting because mom (me) is abusing her verbally". That's her language too. And not she didn't cut the night she wrote that and texted it copy paste to four different people. Its SICK! When I supposed verbally abused her we were together watching tv!

Disengaged 100% from now on. I need seriously to do it and keep my mouth shut around her.

Annanymous's picture

2012 cutting with a paper clip. Aka SCRATCHING lmfao. The night she heard im pregnant she used dirty broken glass.

She went to mental hospital two weeks. Now uses it for pity. Diagnosed depressed and abused by ME! Broken pitiful crushed broken angel abused and abandoned by BM and evil SM who makes her feel unwanted and unloved.

I kept trying but I officially disengaged last night for good. Now she's crying how I don't love her. Well... I don't care any more. She will just make up stuff anyway so may as well disengage and not give her any ammunition.

Annanymous's picture

I have to drive her to her "sex abuse therapist" from her allegations against random ex of bm who was cleared but she almost ruined his life. I believe she thought no one would fi d him. I have to drive her as dh works. This is weekly therapy she complains about me ABUSING HER at. Sad

oneoffour's picture

I would report HER to CPS. You have a high stress pregnancy and you are concerned she has serious mental health issues due to her wishing your baby is dead and her constant allegations of abuse. She tells people you lock her in a closet. Remember the first reporter is the one that is believed.

DH needs to find someone else to watch her after school and while he is working. End of Story. I mean if you are so cruel and evil why have you not been reported to them before?

And certainly tell DH that if this crap does not stop by the time the baby is born you WILL be moving out and away from her and her high drama life. And as a consequence, he doesn't have you around.

Annanymous's picture

I should have when those things were done and said. I rehashed those things from previous pregnancy because finding out she'sstill making claims is hhurtful.

I am trapped really. Only so much dh can do. She was on lockdown no going anywhere because she is so impulsive and stupid and trashy when out of our site. He takes her phone and is starting to see how she doesn't mind d ANY restrictions at all.

She is truly a great actress though and sooo pitiful and sooo sweet and everyone says she is the sweetest nicest broken little abused angel. I want to gag.

misSTEP's picture

You keep saying that there is only so much he can do. It doesn't seem to me by what you have posted (and your lack of response to my previous post) that he does anything at ALL!

Why can't he find someone else to take care of her? It is HIS kid. Why is she YOUR problem?

Annanymous's picture

Hard to scroll down a d catch all replies.

Initially we were blindsided by her suicide attempt (attention seeking per ER taking a vitamin and cold med one dose lmfao). We took her to a psychiatrist then psych hospital. We thought things were better. She's been saying stuff behind my back but hugging me and trying to lay on my lap all year. We thought she was getting better.

She's had episodes but I thought the manipulate for pity and lying was over. I've raised her since she was four. It's not easy when you say daughter and "my kid" for ten years and giving up on this person you loved when you find out how they exaggerated or twisted or flat out made up stuff to make you a monster for someone to save the. From you. Its hard to see the psychopath when they hug you and said they love you and cry how they changed and you don't love them enough or you give up on them how could you or they're not perfect and you make them feel like they are trash and you never love enough or you dont ever listen when its all you do with their constant emotional dysregulation and rages and paybacks for their perception problems. They think you slighted them so they GET you. Then they love you so much and beg you not to leave them don't abandon them like mommy did cause they thiught you were their mom.

We just don't know what to do. Really. Can't get her admitted without her being suicidal or violent. Can't make dh get rid of her. Its easy to tell a stranger to do that but can you ship your kid off, if your dh demanded you do it, would you? Where to whom?

Dh swore if she gets violent or cps becomes involved over bigger false allegations that she'd have to go. Until then?

Easier said than done.

All we can do or think to do we are doing. Psychiatrist, meds, therapist, dh doing all parenting now and me disengaging so she has no ammunition.

What else is actually reasonable for us to do? Someone has to be willing to take her and there isn't. She'd be even worse than ever. She is back in touch with BM and I hope she wants to stay there this summer if I am lucky. Shes going to visit first time in three years. I keep my mouth shut and opinions to myself now. I treat her like a mentally unstable neighbors kid or foster kid at arms length.

I a trying to not let her upset me any more and wash my hands. Her lying sneaking doesn't affect m e cause IDGAF or at least im trying desperately not to.

I know I say if if if... dh knows its serious and not empty threat.

I no longer even ask her to pick up her room or fold her laundry. I really am severing parental ties; it is not easy when you raise the kid and keep falling for their facade. I don't know what else to do. She is definitely borderline personality disorder but they say she is PTSD, abused and pitiful with emotional dysregulation. Googlee emotional dysregulation.

Annanymous's picture

I keep falling for it. She loooves me and want to spend time with me and calls me mom. The I find out she still at it with the false allegations of verbal abuse. It hurts. Because i keep falling for it over and over. The manipulations are sick!

She accused a boy at school of sexual harassment. .. because he called her a bitch but she says he wss talking nasty a out her body (which I think she started!!) Other kids reported that SD14 said "aha call me a bitch? I can fuck your life up. You're fucked aha" then started crying and run to counselor and said sexual harassment. ...

I don't believe her! This was last month.

Annanymous's picture

I'm going to talk to her therapist and say im concern ed about false allegations escalated to put me and my children cps days her a d tel her I'm disengaging and if I should be concerned. This is the therapist that told me she felt so sad for SD14 that she had to tell me how I make sd14 feel unwanted. ....

Fucking I don't know what to do. I ready don't. Its easy to say for me to send to mom or leave but its not so easy. when she isn't caught by me or mad she's fine and nice. So I wash my hands and see if me completely disengaging works.

positivelyfourthstreet's picture

One time SD called the cops to have us charged with false imprisonment because she was grounded and Dad took her cellphone away. IIRC they laughed.

They can often tell if it's BS or not but still take precautions and never be alone with her.

If Dad takes her side ditch him like moldy month old leftovers.

TinyDancer's picture

Um, in all of this not a word about what this child's father is doing..... So, what's he done about all this?

misSTEP's picture

EXACTLY

"He's doing the best he can" and "there's only so much he can do."

But yet we don't hear about this guy doing ANYTHING to protect his pregnant wife....to help his lying out of control child.....to set the relatives straight on her lies....ANYTHING. Seems to me from what has been posted that this guy is just going to work and living his life like none of this stuff is even happening.

When a family member is lying, the person they are slandering should definitely be the family member to protect! Why won't he DO anything??

I mean, if MY kid was making accusations against my husband that could potentially ruin his future work possibilities????? I sure as HELL wouldn't be expecting my DH to be the BABYSITTER!

If everything goes to hell in your life, you have only yourself and your DH to blame.

Annanymous's picture

Psychiatrist
therapist
antidepressants
handling all chore orders/consequences/permissions

I seriously DON'T know what else to do or for him to do - realistically. Right now, he is doing ALL parenting and I.I'm disengaging other than driving her to her therapist when he works. No other appointment times no flexibility in appointment.

Nanny cams is a possibility. Babysitter is on the table if disengaging doesn't work Where she leaves every other wweekend. When he works and maybe after school if disengaging doesn't take her ammunition away.

He doesnt know what else to do realistically. We cant admit her without meeting required stuff plus $60 a day. He can't come up with anything else.

He SHOULD talk to inlaws and tell them she is making up stuff and that its BS. I dont know what else. I never leAve her alo e in room with baby even to pee.

StepLady's picture

I feel very sad for you! What a mess! I also know this will not be a popular statement but I do feel very sad for that child too, she sounds very very unhappy and not typical at all and I am sure she is not "enjoying" life either. CPS does not care about verbal abuse, they do not have time for that at all! Second they have not even been called on you, so I would not borrow trouble even worrying about something that may not happen! Also you guys are getting help for the child, any of the folks that are helping (therapist etc) will be able to back up your defenses that the child has problems and is not honest etc. So you have that going for you as well. I would do my best if I were to go get and counseling yourself to help you deal with the stress and get some time for yourself. Are you able to do that? Can you all go to family counseling? Isn't it sad to see a child suffer and break up a family but can't get into treatment center because she is not at risk for suicide or harming others at the moment? That is awful! Have you the money for a therapeutic school for her? They have a great one in the southern US. There is help....it is just so hard to find I know! But there is! Have you called the Boystown hotline? Your local Mental Health Services etc? When she was discharged after the self harm didn't the facility have a discharge/after care plan for your family? They have a duty of care for her! Have you talked with the school and been very honest with them? Make sure to do that if you haven't already. You need to be honest to all involved with her and yourself, you need a lot more support than what you are getting, you poor thing! Ask for help from anyone around you, you are doing your best and you need support. I think that she is lucky to have you, the level of love and commitment you are showing her is amazing! Use your background in social work and reach out, no one can help you if you don't ask! My heart just hurts for you and your family. I wish I could just hug you! Make sure you take care of yourself and have a plan for where to go for her in case of emergency and a place for yourself if you really need to leave for your safety and your babies. Good Luck to you! Take good care of yourself and your baby.

StepLady's picture

I feel very sad for you! What a mess! I also know this will not be a popular statement but I do feel very sad for that child too, she sounds very very unhappy and not typical at all and I am sure she is not "enjoying" life either. CPS does not care about verbal abuse, they do not have time for that at all! Second they have not even been called on you, so I would not borrow trouble even worrying about something that may not happen! Also you guys are getting help for the child, any of the folks that are helping (therapist etc) will be able to back up your defenses that the child has problems and is not honest etc. So you have that going for you as well. I would do my best if I were to go get and counseling yourself to help you deal with the stress and get some time for yourself. Are you able to do that? Can you all go to family counseling? Isn't it sad to see a child suffer and break up a family but can't get into treatment center because she is not at risk for suicide or harming others at the moment? That is awful! Have you the money for a therapeutic school for her? They have a great one in the southern US. There is help....it is just so hard to find I know! But there is! Have you called the Boystown hotline? Your local Mental Health Services etc? When she was discharged after the self harm didn't the facility have a discharge/after care plan for your family? They have a duty of care for her! Have you talked with the school and been very honest with them? Make sure to do that if you haven't already. You need to be honest to all involved with her and yourself, you need a lot more support than what you are getting, you poor thing! Ask for help from anyone around you, you are doing your best and you need support. I think that she is lucky to have you, the level of love and commitment you are showing her is amazing! Use your background in social work and reach out, no one can help you if you don't ask! My heart just hurts for you and your family. I wish I could just hug you! Make sure you take care of yourself and have a plan for where to go for her in case of emergency and a place for yourself if you really need to leave for your safety and your babies. Good Luck to you! Take good care of yourself and your baby.

Annanymous's picture

Thank you so much for the support and kind words.

When admitted for attention seeking suicidal gesture,we thought depression and abuse by BM and eight years ago sex abuse that she disclosed. We believed her and didn't know she was telling g teachers that I verbally abused her. If I knew that then, I would have left while pregnant. I was at my limit for stress.

Instead, I rode a two hour round trip to visit her at facility at 8 & 9 month pregnant multiple times and held her hand and tried to support her. We had to pay $60.00 a DAY. Was couple thousand dollars. We thought we were helping her. Instead, she used it to tell kids at school she was in a mental hospital andhow they dididn't support her enough. Oh she also "suicide" because we told her she was not allowed to date BFF boyfriend... she wrote how she'd kill herself to be with him. All disturbing. I didn't know what she was say I g about ME to teacher, neighbors, my cousin, and therapist. Sad it hit me hard. Sure I've raised my voice when she did something dangerous,but I have never verbally abused her!

Annanymous's picture

Adding: if I knew then I would not be here now, but it all came out and I know my inlaws get it and grandmother gets it but therapist and teacher not so much.

DH is talking to therapist tomorrow.

I'm disengaging to protect myself. I still provide transport to therapist and provide care while dh at work like today. She is sick so I got her pepto and wet cloth and fan and set up cable tv and got her water and made her chicken noodle soup.

My disengaging is set for me to not parent her and not give e her any chance to twist anything I do or say. I'm not doing g the hostile completely silent disengaging because that would backfire huge on me.

She really rubbed it in my face that she talked to her mom (MIA 3YRS) about a boy and other problems. I was jumping for joy inside though.

Inlaws worry SD14 and BM will feed off each other as bm is same way claiming abuse and false allegations.

Safeplace's picture

You are so not a monster! I had the false CPS call on me from 2 SKs AFTER we placed our call on BM. I want nothing to do with these #&#&%ers and want them gone. Doing the SM countdown to happiness. The call is a real thing if they are poisoned against you by BM. Completely disengage and let DH handle her. Do not feel guilty. Wish I would have 6 + yrs ago. Best of luck...you will need it.