Communication between bioparents
This seems to come up a lot. And I'm not talking about BMs requesting to talk to our DHs without us. I'm talking about the fact that they rarely see eye to eye and it often gets nasty. This doesn't happen here anymore but it seems to be a frequent occurrence on st 
I think it should not come as a surprise to any of us that bm and dh have so many communication issues. It shouldn't surprise our DHs either. And it shouldn't surprise our DHs (or us) that they can't arrive at a compromise with bm. The fact that they can't compromise and communicate ever probably contributed to the divorce/split. In fact, sometimes the dh and bm didn't know each other all too well before hopping in her together.
But after seeing what my dh and SDs went through, it breaks my heart to see kids get dragged into it. I just want to tell these parents, especially PASers, a) get counseling for yourself b) DON'T INVOLVE THE KIDS and c) get a mediator/third party involved. You can disagree all you want. But don't drag your kids through the mud in the process. Don't bash the other parent.
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Well, the conclusion we
Well, the conclusion we eventually came to with BM3 is that she can't control what goes on when it's DH's parenting time, and she can't argue by herself. So when she was still in the phase of being extremely argumentative and constantly trying to engage DH about non-SD related topics, he would only communicate with her via text and email.
She would text these long rants or messages about how things are going to be, detailing exactly how she wanted things done (once she texted him that she didn't want SD then 2 listening to the radio in the car on the way to and from exchanges... she gave a list of approved CDs SD could listen to). DH didn't respond to any of them. When there was an email with something pertinent and a whole bunch of garbage, he would copy and paste the pertinent part, and respond curtly in a different color. Like, there would be several paragraphs of nonsense and gaslighting, and he would just copy and paste the one pertinent question, and give a one word answer, ignoring all the rest.
It shut the shit down real quick. She only did this for about 6 months and then finally realized that she got nowhere with hostility.
Yup I agree with what all of
Yup I agree with what all of you said, at the beginning I think its easy for DHs to get dragged into the arguments...with our BM it seemed like there was always a cycle...so a period of calmness and then shit would hit the fan. We kinda realized that it had to do with how unhappy she was in her own life so she tried to dragg everyone else into her misery. So I looked this up and found that best way to deal is to IGNORE them and just ask and answer Qs about SKs...in shortest way possible...she even tried to get me in the middle of it by sending nasty e-mails...lol I Never replied to any of them, and she realized I will Never go down to her level so she stopped...now its much better. They only comunicate via e-mail about pick up and drop off mostly..and its very Short...one sentence is all you need. As I said at the begining there were looooooooong e-mails about everything But the # 45 asked...and he would still answer w one #, or not at all...eventualy they learn and stop. But we also know BM is addicted to Drama, she just needs it! And will try to create it anyway she can...too bad it isn't working for her lol...we learned that what pisses her the most is being Ignored! And it makes sense. Here shje is getting all worked up over nothing and no one gives a shit! It's great! Ignorance is the best weapon against people like this!