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Paying for college

Anon2009's picture

Right now one of my SDs is in college. She's several hours away and enjoying it. The issue that comes up is paying for it.

DH is paying for it (which I have no issue with) but BM is doing nothing to pay for it. DH did consider trying to ask BM to pay for some of it but knew it wouldn't be of any use. He didn't feel like going through the courts for it (I know that's happened before). That would just waste the taxpayers time and everyone's money. We both believe that parents shouldn't be mandated to pay for a kid's college education. It's just sad for the sds that their mother doesn't show any interest in them.

What is your family's plan for SKs college payments (if they even make it to college)? Would DH help out in any capacity? Or do you think BM should put aside some of the money he's given her to help pay for college if sks go? Do you/DH expect your sks to go to college?

SD is helping to pay for her college education too. She got a scholarship to go to the school of her choice and has a job there, and works while she's home during the summer.

Comments

twopines's picture

SS30 or 31 went to college via the GI Bill. SD29 worked full time and took out student loans.

evilstepmotherJ's picture

I gave my SD my discount for working at a University but the rest was up to her to get grants and loans, etc. Thankfully she didn't as she didn't even make it through two semesters. My thoughts are that these kids have a lifetime to make money to pay back student loans, however, my Dh only has about another 15 years to work before retirement so all his money needs to stay with him, because we all know his kids aren't going to help him out in his retirement years. Even financial experts warn about giving money to kids if you don't have enough retirement money set aside. I personally think kids do better when their own money is on the line.

dragonfly5's picture

My skids will pay for their own college. DH and I already had this discussion.

We both paid our own way through college, and guess what? We finished yes, we both worked full time and yet still managed to get our degrees...Sorry my sarcasm is showing.

Also my BD had scholarships and worked full time to get her Masters and is now working full time and paying for her Doctorate. Yes, she lives on her own.

So yes, everyone in our family, bio, skid, parents have and will be paying for your own education.

Flying.Purple.Step.Monster's picture

DH is non custodial but it's in the CO. He is to pay half of what it costs for an in state public school. I don't know how we're going to do it... the kids are a year apart so we will have 2 in college at the same time.

Sports Fan's picture

It's in our CO. DH will be paying 100 percent. BM is suppose to pay some but she doesn't work, lives off the child support so we know she won't be. DH won't "make his kids suffer" because BM won't pay. Sad part is financial aid will look at DH's income for my BS when making their decision-the theory being that his income would be available to contribute-system is really screwed up. If anyone pays other than the child, it should be the bio parents and it should be their incomes used for financial aid, not the household the child lives in.

Flying.Purple.Step.Monster's picture

I wonder about that. If we were to take my income out of the mix there is no way we can afford college for his 2. He would be in violation of the CO if he doesn't pay and she could sue him. But the most they could do is garnish his paycheck?

QueenBeau's picture

We won't be paying forSD or our other bios education. However if they graduate and don't mess up too bad we will provide each kid with a down payment on their first home.

DH nor I had parents pay for our education. He had an athletic scholarship and i had an academic scholarship. We could have used that money when we bought our home though to avoid PMI. SDs mom is broke so her fsfa will be full of grants.

zerostepdrama's picture

3/4 skids are graduated and none of them are in college. MSD *might* be going to college. She just graduated in May. Not sure though....DH is def. not paying for any of it.

I paid for myself when I went to college. I am still paying back student loans. I worked to pay for college and my room and board. My mother helped me out here and there with groceries and she kept me on her car insurance since it was cheaper and she paid it.

Supposedly by ExMIL is paying for BS's college. She has the money for it. I'm not counting on anything though.

I will help BS as much as I can when the time comes. I know for me, it was hard to work 40 hours a week and go to school and still try to enjoy being in college. I couldnt do an internship because I had to work. I couldnt join any clubs or school activities because I had to work. I feel like I missed some of the college experience because of always working.

Willow2010's picture

My deal with my kids was that I would pay for their first two years of college IF they went to community college in town. (cheap)

If they went to a state college in year 1 and 2, then I would send the money straight to them for whatever they wanted to use it for.

They had to pay for their 3rd and 4th years of college no matter what.

hereiam's picture

My DH didn't have the money and we knew SD23 would not go to college, anyway. She didn't even finish high school.

Hanny's picture

My SO's daughter is going into 3rd year of school away from home (8 hour drive). Tuition isn't that much because she does get some financial help, but room and board are ridiculous. New place for this year is $1,350 a month plus utilities. Then of course, she needs food and gas money. SO pays her car payments and her insurance, BM pays her cell phone. BM and SO split the rent each month, but as far as I'm concerned, 3rd year is time to start getting student loans. First year she was in college she only took the amount of classes to be considered a full time student, so she won't be graduating until maybe 5+ years. She worked last summer and a little this summer, but doesn't have to save any of that for college, just her fun money while she is home in the summer. BM and SO each put money into her account each month for food and spending money. When she and her BF talk about what they do at college sure seems like they are living the life, they go out to eat a lot, rent a car whenever they want to (this year she is taking her car to school), go to concerts. She hasn't had to worry about money for one day. Hell lots of kids work full time, go to school, pay for all their own living and have to eat Top Ramen, I doubt she will every have to experience this type of life. And I doubt very much that she will truly appreciate what her parents are doing for her.

thinkthrice's picture

My bioson is going through the GI Bill and scholarships he's won. I was never able to financially swing college for my bios.

My parents refused to pay for any college education as they were religiously against all college and university. Needless to say, I never finished as I was always supporting my family.

MamaFox's picture

Luckily, my Skids are 80% Native, so they will easily have scholarships and Grants. Obviously, MamaFox is already looking up these grants and scholarships and various other things for them.

We have decided also, that after we save for a downpayment on a house for us, we will rent out the mobile home we are buying shortly (Put applications in for it today!!!!! cross fingers!!!), and half of that rent goes into CD's for the boys for incidentals for college. The other half goes into individual Roth IRAs for each of us.

IF they want cars, they can mow lawns. I didnt get a car bought for me and neither did FDH when he was 16. So the boys can work for theirs too.